motive2002 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 To those that have been dumped, it's painful, albeit useful to reflect on those red flags that our 20/20 hindsight is now seeing with crystal clarity. For me personally it was talking about the ex. She would talk about him, and still had him held in high esteem, even though she got fed up with his crap and eventually dumped him blah blah etc. She was still holding a torch for that creep, which meant I really had no chance from the get-go. I'll spot that red flag a little easier from now on.
Savage4 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 When I first met my gf she had broken up with her boyfriend about a month before. We didn't actually start dating until almost a year later, but since we were friends with benefits first, I was still her rebound. During our breakup she reminded me that I was her rebound as if it played a role in the breakup. Moral of the story: don't get in a serious relationship if you are a rebound because chances are your significant other has not healed. She also started to pull away and become distant during the last month or so. It was hard for me to spot this one because of everything going on in our lives and she kept telling me that she loved me and continued to lead me on. Little did I know that she was already over me and was preparing herself to break my heart. She actually told me one time that while I was gone for the weekend she had thought about breaking up but said she was just feeling weird and would have gotten back together with me if she had gone through with it. I asked her if she was seriously considering it and why. I can't remember what she told me but I obviously didn't give it much thought.
gibson Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 I post the ones below from another thread on this subject... Really? HOPE alone is your strategy, approach and plan for Dating / Relationships? 1. Don't be with someone who wants you to hand over your free will, relinquish your control over what you want, what you need and your decision making ability. 2. Don't get your self-worth, validation, approval, confidence, identity, self-respect, etc. from someone else or be with someone who gets all that from you. 3. Don't confuse dating / relationships with marriage or be with someone who does. Dating / relationships is a "courting" period, not till death due you part. 4. People have their own goals, purpose and agenda and they may not be the same as yours. Also, people are not always aware or honest with themselves to know what those are. 5. Words can be misleading and often are, actions cannot lie. 6. Do not assume or project ANYTHING onto the person you are dating or in a relationship with and do not be with someone that does this to you. 7. People change and so do their feelings. 8. There are a lot of unhealthy and damaged people out there. 9. Sex doesn't mean they want you, like you, love you, want to date you, want a relationship, what to marry you and they can even do it if they hate you. 10. Not everyone is looking for a "forever" relationship / marriage. People often date / enter into relationships for just that, fun. NOTE: There is nothing wrong with people doing this. 11. When someone shows you who / what they are... believe them. 12. Do not be "Captain Fix a Ho". Do not date or enter into relationships with "fixer uppers". 13. If after dating a while, they are not 100% sure they want to be with you... Do yourself a favor and make the decision for them. 14. You should never have to beg, plead, convince, negotiate, threaten, manipulate, etc. someone to be / want to be with you. 15. You are you. They either liked you or they don't. 16. If someone does not know who they are or what they want... You do not enter into a relationship with them or marry them. 17. It's very easy to determine if the person you just met / are dating is a person who has character, integrity, morals, values, etc. If they do not possess / have those, they are history. 18. If someone really wants to be with you, they will not hesitate and will gladly remove / address any of the obstacles that might be in the way. 19. If it's just starting out and you run into a lot challenges, obstacles, issues, drama, chaos, games, etc.... end it. 20. If someone is in a relationship, just got out of a relationship or hung up on an Ex... Run for you life! 21. If someone has to explain and clarify their relationship(s) as "just" friends or "good" friends with someone of the opposite sex or with an Ex, don't date them. What they mean is, they are "just" friends / "good" friends with that person for the moment. You only have friends and you expect the person you choose to date / be in a relationship to have the same. 22. I could go on and on. 2
Joaquin Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 (edited) Red flag número uno... when they are all of a sudden behaving funny with their mobile phone. Keeping it on silent. Out of sight. etc. Trust your intuition. People who do this are up to no good. Edited May 22, 2012 by Joaquin
shayla Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 My first red flag that should have sent me skittering backward away from him.....LOL I met him OLD and spoke to him on the phone for a month or so before meeting in person. I thought that by the time we met we'd be pretty comfortable with each other. Turns out that he had been lying to me about his name. I thought well, maybe he just isn't comfortable yet, he will be honest sooner or later. He wasn't honest with me until I confronted him about lying to me and threatening to walk out on him. Oh boy when I read this now....*sigh*
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 another flag, having people of the opposite sex text them at silly o clock in the morning.
g450 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Ha! This reminds me of one red flag my GF gave me early on. We had an argument about her then current separated H and I said something uncomplimentary about him She got mad and said "He is a good guy". That was a red flag and a half for me. I told her to name ONE good thing about him. All I got from her was a blank look on her face. It was priceless. A year ago or so she went back to him. I kind of knew in my gut that would happen. Two years later she comes back to me and I pay for her divorce and buy her an engagment ring. And guess what..he is now almost a year behind on Child Support Payments for his only Son. So much for being "a good guy". He was good at BSing women. That was about it. Some women are so gullible. For the record though, there is already a "red flag" thread here somewhere that is a mile long. Should not be hard to find.
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