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Ex contacted me after a month of NC initiated by me.


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Posted (edited)
Oh ok for some reason I assumed she put the pics on FB...yea all they have to do is be honest, seems there into playing games to much and mine getting retarded drunk everynight.

 

Usually they get drunk because, like I've said on here before, the moment they get even a second a introspection and see themselves for what they really are they will lose their minds.

It's easier to pretend you're a good person than actually be one.

Edited by Tree_Salmon
  • Author
Posted

Now it's "you hate me forever, don't you"?

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Posted
U still haven't responded right?

 

Nope. But I'm considering it next week. either that or just block everything and never go there again.

Posted

Yea I hear ya. Is she with this other guy?

  • Author
Posted
Yea I hear ya. Is she with this other guy?

 

Probably. She's acting in a really dumb fake confidence way so anything is possible.

  • Author
Posted

After a few days of traveling and having fun with people I received some new communications from my ex.

 

Basically asking me questions about life situations. I'm starting to get really confused. Is this really a way to get back in conversation with me or rub some new thing in my face?

 

I found myself strangely optimistic this morning about the idea of weird communication with my ex. I instantly shot it down because it's not going to help the situation right now.

 

I get a very strange feeling but at the same time its very easy after a 5 weeks of nc to put all of it out of mind. When it does come up though, it really starts to sting.

Posted
After a few days of traveling and having fun with people I received some new communications from my ex.

 

Basically asking me questions about life situations. I'm starting to get really confused. Is this really a way to get back in conversation with me or rub some new thing in my face?

 

I found myself strangely optimistic this morning about the idea of weird communication with my ex. I instantly shot it down because it's not going to help the situation right now.

 

I get a very strange feeling but at the same time its very easy after a 5 weeks of nc to put all of it out of mind. When it does come up though, it really starts to sting.

 

Sometimes, we really can't make sense of what they're doing. :confused:

 

You're right, it won't help the situation right now. You've done well with NC for so long and I'm glad it's still on-going.

 

How can it not sting? Sighs.

Posted

Ok most gurus will tell you to stay away and NC for 4-6 wks!

 

Yes, in that time your ex through natural psycology will get in touch!

 

I think your ex's contact was pretty pathetic by the way! A silly msn is her dipping her toe in - but taking it straight back out again!

 

Your ex needs feeding some strength to carry on with the break up, if you reply - you have just fed her and you wont see for dust!

 

If she had asked to meet - then i would advise you to reply after a day saying your busy at the mo but hope shes ok - then keep the NC momentum going for a few more weeks! Until she gets in touch again.

 

What i love about NC is it gives YOU the opportunity to live your life for you without your ex, you dont realise it at the time, but you are re-programming your brain to survive without them in your life! So if they do not want to reconcilliate - you have learnt that you can live without them!

 

When i ended a relationship and i wanted to reconcilliate, i text, rang and went around to my ex's house! Because i wanted to try again. That's making an effort to reconcilliate!

 

I wouldnt reply to her breadcrumbs!

 

Don't feed her!

 

Crack on with your life and live life for you!

 

If you need anymore advice, check out my website www.notbreaking.com

 

Best wishes.

 

Ri

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Yeah I'm so glad I have been gone from this. Im going to see what new things i will hear and then go back to complete NC for a few weeks. Maybe longer

Posted
Yeah I'm so glad I have been gone from this. Im going to see what new things i will hear and then go back to complete NC for a few weeks. Maybe longer

 

I've been really busy for the last few days but wow, she's still trying to get your attention?

 

I agree tomaybe go back to NC after you see what else she's going to say. At least then you can weigh up if she's serious or not.

Posted
Ok most gurus will tell you to stay away and NC for 4-6 wks!

 

Yes, in that time your ex through natural psycology will get in touch!

 

I think your ex's contact was pretty pathetic by the way! A silly msn is her dipping her toe in - but taking it straight back out again!

 

Your ex needs feeding some strength to carry on with the break up, if you reply - you have just fed her and you wont see for dust!

 

If she had asked to meet - then i would advise you to reply after a day saying your busy at the mo but hope shes ok - then keep the NC momentum going for a few more weeks! Until she gets in touch again.

 

What i love about NC is it gives YOU the opportunity to live your life for you without your ex, you dont realise it at the time, but you are re-programming your brain to survive without them in your life! So if they do not want to reconcilliate - you have learnt that you can live without them!

 

When i ended a relationship and i wanted to reconcilliate, i text, rang and went around to my ex's house! Because i wanted to try again. That's making an effort to reconcilliate!

 

I wouldnt reply to her breadcrumbs!

 

Don't feed her!

 

Crack on with your life and live life for you!

 

If you need anymore advice, check out my website www.notbreaking.com

 

Best wishes.

 

Ri

 

This was very powering to me and my current situation. Thank You

Posted
I've been really busy for the last few days but wow, she's still trying to get your attention?

 

I agree tomaybe go back to NC after you see what else she's going to say. At least then you can weigh up if she's serious or not.

 

Where's the boat to nowhere, MissB? I might need it right about now. :\

Posted
Where's the boat to nowhere, MissB? I might need it right about now. :\

 

I know tell me about it, I feel you. We definitely need a big boat.

 

Have you heard anything else?

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

An update...I ended up choosing to break NC. Simply because I didnt feel like playing some game at this point.

 

NC was important for a while and it helped me clear my head and start

moving on with life but I had to do what I felt i needed to do.

 

I found out that there are still feelings for me.

And at this point i have changed so much that I dealt with it the right way.

I don't know if this will go anywhere. But I'll deal with whatever happens from here on out.

 

Going to continue to grow and learn from the breakup. I dont need any tactics to build myself back up because I'm already complete. Theres still another person in the picture and I'm not saying this is a reconciliation. I'm just completely in tune with who I am and what I want so I'm not pushing anything.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted (edited)

So, after communicating on and off for a week with my ex, it seems that my gut feeling might be true.

 

There's trouble in the new paradise and I may be the comfort zone. So i gotta step back because I still love this person. I don't want to get used as comfort

Edited by Tree_Salmon
Posted
So, after communicating on and off for a week with my ex, it seems that my gut feeling might be true.

 

There's trouble in the new paradise and I may be the comfort zone. So i gotta step back because I still love this person. I don't want to get used as comfort

 

Wise of you to step back. I think we are really in the same boat. I'm stepping back myself.

  • Author
Posted
Wise of you to step back. I think we are really in the same boat. I'm stepping back myself.

 

It seems like they may be using us to get over a fight or misunderstanding with their new partner. This can only hurt us.

 

NC is great for teaching you and helping you move on. But i didn't want to pretend to play some game. I do what I feel is right for me and I dont regret it.

Posted
It seems like they may be using us to get over a fight or misunderstanding with their new partner. This can only hurt us.

 

NC is great for teaching you and helping you move on. But i didn't want to pretend to play some game. I do what I feel is right for me and I dont regret it.

 

Good for you then. :)

I didn't want to pretend either, so I do understand where you're coming from.

 

I continued contact with my ex, he just uncovered more and more things that were emotionally affecting me... not in a negative way, more of making me feel sorry for him cos he knows how to push my buttons to feel bad I guess.

 

But I have to continue to keep strong with my wants and decisions that I don't want to go back. I don't want to walk backwards again. I'm moving forward.

 

As long as you know what you're doing and you know that you'll be all right and still moving on even when you contact your ex, I think you should be fine. :)

  • Author
Posted
Good for you then. :)

I didn't want to pretend either, so I do understand where you're coming from.

 

I continued contact with my ex, he just uncovered more and more things that were emotionally affecting me... not in a negative way, more of making me feel sorry for him cos he knows how to push my buttons to feel bad I guess.

 

But I have to continue to keep strong with my wants and decisions that I don't want to go back. I don't want to walk backwards again. I'm moving forward.

 

As long as you know what you're doing and you know that you'll be all right and still moving on even when you contact your ex, I think you should be fine. :)

 

Yes. I believe some people are strong enough emotionally to be able to handle what comes at them. Even when its really painful.

 

I might actually be learning more by interacting with her.

I know myself and I'm pretty strong internally so I can make the right decisions.

 

That being said, you also have to know when to leave well enough alone and just walk away. I think that may happen very soon.

Posted
That being said, you also have to know when to leave well enough alone and just walk away. I think that may happen very soon.

 

Well said. Yeah. Sooner or later, it will happen.

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