DontWorryBHappy Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) Maybe I live in a bubble, but I felt weird when a guy I started talking to suggested "Hookah at 11pm tonight" as our first real getting to know each other date. I don't know, I just don't want to smoke, puff, huff, or "do" any "thing" when I'm trying to get to know someone. Just weird. Am I weird? Maybe I'm just not cool enough. I let him know that wasn't my thing. Now he's trying to suggest coffee instead. Hmm Edited May 21, 2012 by DontWorryBHappy Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 The Hookah date is a big thing here in San Francisco. Personally, I despise it 'cuz I was never a smoker (of anything!). But - sadly - it is considered "cool" and a scene. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Yeah, I feel a little bad for being so freaked about it. I was raised in kind of a conservative family, so maybe I'm way more old fashioned than I even realized I was. Ironically, I don't drink coffee either. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Um, if you're a smoker, go for it. If you're a non smoker, kind of a bad idea for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 You didn't feel comfortable and you spoke up about it. Good for you. Result, he's willing to suggest something else. I say give him a chance. You clearly know how to protect yourself. ps: I would turn down anyone who suggested an 11pm first meeting. What?? Link to post Share on other sites
AH1990 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) Maybe I live in a bubble, but I felt weird when a guy I started talking to suggested "Hookah at 11pm tonight" as our first real getting to know each other date. I don't know, I just don't want to smoke, puff, huff, or "do" any "thing" when I'm trying to get to know someone. Just weird. Am I weird? Maybe I'm just not cool enough. I let him know that wasn't my thing. Now he's trying to suggest coffee instead. Hmm Not weird at all. Some people like it, others don't. My first date with a girl not too long ago was to a Hookah Bar. I think the date went amazing. Tons of flirting on both ends! I learned a lot about her that night. The Hookah Bar I took her to was downtown and a very upscale place. The date started at 6pm and lasted until 10pm. It's a shame our relationship didn't really work out though. I guess 18yr olds still love playing games. Smoking Shisha is really a personal preference thing. It might not be your cup of tea. But it doesn't make it right or wrong. Kudos to you for saying something about it. Edit: Give the guy another chance. He obviously didn't know much about you and he was willing to take a shot in the dark. He probably assumed that you had smoked it before, which was the reason for suggesting it. But the one thing that really seems shady is the time. The Hookah Bar around my city is open until 2am. But around the 10pm-11pm mark, you can get some characters in there. My advice: Give him another chance, but we weary about his intentions. Edited May 21, 2012 by AH1990 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) It's a hipster thing. But it's kind of 2009, so he's a hipster late to the scene. That said - 11 pm?? OK, that is weird. Edited to add: Or is he a waiter or something - someone who gets out of work at that time? Edited May 21, 2012 by serial muse Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
JesseJames Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 What if it was drinks at eleven? Would that have been weird? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 What if it was drinks at eleven? Would that have been weird? Hope this isn't going OT (DWBH please advise) but in my book: yes. I wouldn't bother meeting someone if they couldn't make time for me before 11 pm. To me, it suggests they view meeting a potential partner as an afterthought, in other words, that they aren't really serious about the process. Of course, I'm looking for a relationship. If I were merely looking for a fling, the 11pm might fly with me. Link to post Share on other sites
JesseJames Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Hope this isn't going OT (DWBH please advise) but in my book: yes. I wouldn't bother meeting someone if they couldn't make time for me before 11 pm. To me, it suggests they view meeting a potential partner as an afterthought, in other words, that they aren't really serious about the process. Of course, I'm looking for a relationship. If I were merely looking for a fling, the 11pm might fly with me. 'Round here, if there are any ladies that don't literally run for the door at ten during the week I tend to be impressed. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 It depends on the country, though! In the UK, drinks happens at 6pm. But in Portugal, where I'm from, noone goes out before 10pm. So unless the date includes dinner, it will never start before 10/11pm. So, really it depends on culture and what you expect. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 that's stupid. So is narrow-mindedness... Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Where I live there’s a hookah scene, but no one over 21 is a part of it. Here it's what kids do before they can legally drink. 11 pm is so late! That’s my bedtime, so I would have said, “Sorry. I’ll be asleep at that time.” Meet him for coffee and see what happens. It sounds like you two might not be compatible if smoking at 11 pm isn’t your idea of fun (apparently it’s his), but you never know. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Maybe it was the dude's attempt to offer up something different and unique for a first meet rather than the old "let's have coffee" bit. I wouldn't necessarily take away any points for that. If you make a counter offer I'm guessing he'd happily oblige. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 I had actually met the guy briefly, but I really do mean BRIEFLY! As in, we met for maybe 5 minutes so he could introduce himself, and this would be our first time really doing anything together. I was already sort of iffy about my interest, but the 11pm thing and hookah killed any that was left. I can make a pass on the hookah thing, some people like it, so that's cool. But the 11pm thing definitely made me feel equally weird. Maybe he's just not too smart or something, or the hookah place doesn't get interesting until 11pm... not that I would know. In any case, I told him that I felt we probably wouldn't connect, and he wished me luck. Moving along.... Link to post Share on other sites
JustJoe Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I've used a waterpipe for several years now, after my last deployment, and find the hookah to be really relaxing. I do it at home while I'm reading . BTW if your friend is Islamic then 11.00 isn't too late for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hookers make perfect dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hookah bars are common where I live too. I don't think it's the hookah, either, but more that he wanted a date, early on, at 11PM. But it's good you didn't do anything that made you uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hookers have been a long standing traditional fixture in a bar. Link to post Share on other sites
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