Author Gazzer92 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) Thanks I have blocked her. In a way I actually hope what you're saying about her being a scammer is true. As much as that would hurt to know her feelings for me were not real, and I did truly love her and always will. But at least I would know she wouldn't be cutting herself because of me. All I can do is pray for her and her happiness, i'm out of her life now for good and i'm not going back. I've felt like crap all day, haven't been able to get her off my mind. Just thinking of how I first met her and all the laughs we had and all the dreams we had of being with eachother, and now its all gone. I miss waking up before work and checking my facebook and seeing my daily message from her about her day ahead and saying how much she loves me. I miss our general convos and just random moments of laughter for no reason. I miss her beautiful smile, the way her eyes lit up as soon as I came online and her voice. I miss all the things that only we shared with eachother. Nobody in my real life ever knew about her, she will only ever be my memory. But I have to stay strong, I will get through this. I just hope she meets someone and he treats her the way she deserves to be treated, I just want her to be loved and to be happy, thats all I ask. As for me I guess i'll find someone someday, they wont be her but hey, maybe she was just too good to be true. Edited May 25, 2012 by Gazzer92
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) hmmm all i can say is dont attempt to give up someone who you cant stop thinking about..it just doesnt work for some reason. also i'd like to point out, you shouldnt take advice here too seriously, cause we dont really know her or what happened between the 2 of you. a lot can go wrong through being misinformed. just saying, cause it happened to me before that the guy seemed in love w/ me and i was happy w/ him (it was online too). he seemed to have a lot of doubt about me, maybe cause he couldnt accept a good thing was happening to him, sometimes im like that too.so he'd go on self sabotage. he'd accuse me if a guy friend would message me, and he'd use little bits of info to make me "in his mind" not a good person. i begged him to stay (too, like ur girl). it was the worst thing..very heartbreaking and absolutely came out of nowhere. about the money thing, she mightve gotten used to the idea of money just being money and not a big deal, some people are like that, although "most" people arent. dont make it a "breaking point". you can always re-earn money but you cant earn people back. every relationship is a risk. it's like an investment. someone here mentioned if a guy is not brave enough to date you, who knows what else he isnt brave enough for..? you came here and told a bunch of strangers about this girl who u were supposedly in love with..we dont get to hear her side..i doubt u know what love is. Edited May 25, 2012 by ohmygoshistalk
Author Gazzer92 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 hmmm all i can say is dont attempt to give up someone who you cant stop thinking about..it just doesnt work for some reason. also i'd like to point out, you shouldnt take advice here too seriously, cause we dont really know her or what happened between the 2 of you. a lot can go wrong through being misinformed. just saying, cause it happened to me before that the guy seemed in love w/ me and i was happy w/ him (it was online too). he seemed to have a lot of doubt about me, maybe cause he couldnt accept a good thing was happening to him, sometimes im like that too.so he'd go on self sabotage. he'd accuse me if a guy friend would message me, and he'd use little bits of info to make me "in his mind" not a good person. i begged him to stay (too, like ur girl). it was the worst thing..very heartbreaking and absolutely came out of nowhere. about the money thing, she mightve gotten used to the idea of money just being money and not a big deal, some people are like that, although "most" people arent. dont make it a "breaking point". you can always re-earn money but you cant earn people back. every relationship is a risk. it's like an investment. someone here mentioned if a guy is not brave enough to date you, who knows what else he isnt brave enough for..? you came here and told a bunch of strangers about this girl who u were supposedly in love with..we dont get to hear her side..i doubt u know what love is. That first line, are you trying to say I won't get over her? Can I ask are you over your ex now or does it still hurt you? How long ago did you split up? Right now I feel so upset but I know deep down this is the right thing for me, even if it isn't the right thing for her. Hopefully as the months pass by she'll just become a distant memory and I can think back on all the happy times I had and how she taught me to fall in love. Thats all I want now, I dont feel like eating right now even thats how upset I am about this.
rubberduck Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I started off with one opinion and ended with another, but thought I'd better share anyway just in case I met a guy on a forum once.. we started chatting and I enjoyed speaking to him, he was different and nicer than normal guys. I was in the process of getting out of a difficult 4-year relationship and was leaning on him for support. I found myself chatting to him more and more online as time went on, on webcam etc. I was taking the breakup of my relationship hard and falling for him (bad timing! ) he offered to come and visit me 160 miles away, and I accepted. The reality was even better than the online version! This was 4 years ago and we are now married with a one year old little boy. I moved the 160 miles to be with him in the south of UK, and I couldn't have made a better choice! So just to be contradictory, I wanted to come from the other side of the arguement. Don't necessarily write her off unless you're sure. I know how hard it is to forget people I love (yes, present tense - love doesn't die!) Don't send money, never ever send money!!!! But follow your heart
bean1 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Did the last few posters skimp over the CUTTING/SUICIDE threats ?? 2
FitChick Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 he offered to come and visit me 160 miles away, and I accepted. This was 4 years ago and we are now married with a one year old little boy. I moved the 160 miles to be with him in the south of UK, and I couldn't have made a better choice! Clearly you don't travel much. Big difference spending a couple of hours in a car to see someone and traveling thousands of miles to another country many times to get acquainted and even more daunting dealing with Immigration if you want to move. Even if that chick wasn't a scammer and/or nutcase, this relationship would be doomed because they are both young and poor. The OP feels badly enough having learned this lesson but I'm sure he will find someone locally who is legitimate who likes him for himself.
rubberduck Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 no I don't travel much ... Might well be part of being agoraphobic. No need for the sarcasm. For me that 160 miles was a massive move.
Emilia Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 someone here mentioned if a guy is not brave enough to date you, who knows what else he isnt brave enough for..? That poster was me but it's not applicable in this case. They have spoken through an online dating site, never met in real life and she has been talking about cutting herself. Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting this is a path the OP should go down on?
Emilia Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 But at least I would know she wouldn't be cutting herself because of me. It would never be about you, regardless whether she is a scammer or not. If you were as crazy as she is and you were cutting yourself, do you think that would be about the other person or simply about how crazy you are? Same thing, it's not about you (if it's true in the first place). Well done for being so strong and wise.
Author Gazzer92 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Posted May 27, 2012 Thanks Emilia, thats wise words there, and it's made me feel better. I'm still finding it very difficult, but i've been trying to get her out of my mind. I was fine before I met her, so i'll be fine now is the way i'm looking at it. 1
rubberduck Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Well done for making a decision and sticking to it
mortensorchid Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 I have not finished reading all the responds on this thread, but guy you are living in a fantasy world. An LDR is one thing, but you CANNOT have a relationship with someone who lives in another country, especially as far apart as London, England and Pheonix, USA. You are dependent on this because you think she is perfect (but found out otherwise in other chats). You seem bent on traveling to see her, she seems resistant to it. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but you should reconsider this situation for the sake of finance, safety and expenses.
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) well we all say stuff in the heat of the moment, if she was a long time cutter thats different, but if she said that out of desperation cause she didnt know what happened and why all of a sudden, without warning, the guy shes in love with decides to erase her out of his life then i would say it was excusable. shes 19 too, i did a lot of crazy stuff back when i was that age. dont we all hear of guys saying "im gona kill myself if you leave me..wahhh!!!" or "if u leave me now u take away the biggest part of me....." its just words we shouldnt base the entire relationship on that. im just defending her side cause this happened to me and it was one of the most painful things (relationship-wise) ive felt, it was really like..someone peeled my skin off and poured vinegar all over me. in my honest opinion he shouldnt have sneaked behind her back and not tell her he was having second thoughts, for all we know he was making it seem to her everything was fine..so she would think woot everythings fine..i love this guy and he loves me..turns out he goes to 10 different forums asking if what he felt was normal... how would u feel if ur gf or bf did this to you? least you can do is tell her the truth so u wont be wasting her goddamned mother****ing time. and gazzer,honey, go back to playing your video games. Edited May 27, 2012 by ohmygoshistalk
Author Gazzer92 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 Still finding it very tough, I keep looking at her pictures and seeing how happy she is in them and just hoping she feels that way now and that shes not alone. I keep hearing her voice in my head, thinking of how she used to laugh hysterically at one of my poor jokes, saying how British I was, teasing me and telling me how much she loves me. Sharing things that only we shared. I had a dream the other night where we were together alone, there was nobody else there but me and her and we were on a beach with the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen, and everything just felt so natural and it felt like it went on for a lifetime. However we didn't say a word to eachother in the dream, we just looked at eachother and smiled, then I woke up with this euphoric feeling before realising it's just a dream and I got that sinking feeling. I dont know if that means anything, i'm no dream reader after all but I find myself going to bed every night longing for that dream to return. I've been slowly getting back to my normal self though, i've been going out with my friends and having a laugh, not one of them knows how I feel or how I ever felt, but I guess I like that more to know that shes only somebody that I knew about. I've also been taking long walks in the evening by myself, it feels so liberating walking along on my own with the birds singing and just feeling at ease with myself and for that 30 minutes i'm out there walking alone everything just feels right and my mind is cleared from everything negative. Theres a whole world out there to explore and so many people to meet and thats whats getting me through this difficult period, some of you maybe reading this and thinking what an overreaction, but only I know how I feel. I know I will meet her again someday, but it wont be in this lifetime. And I always have my mind, nobody can take that away from me. Well theres my update for you guys, i'll keep you updated in the next couple of weeks on how i'm progressing. I want to thank you all once again for helping me through this, as I haven't been able to talk to any of my friends and family about it so it's been really difficult. To be so in love with someone and to let them go and the only person that knows about it is me and her is hard for me to get over and i've had no emotional support, but the support you guys have given me has meant so much even though I don't know any of you beyond the realms of the internet. Thank you all and i'll keep you updated.
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