paperboy48 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) Detaching and NC is such are hard thing to do. After having 16 years together of a “Goodmorning”, “how is your day going?” “How was your day?” A Hug and kiss beforesleeping”. And now in order to heal you have to have no contact with thisperson that was so much a part of your life. They were your most valuableresource of support, they were your cheerleader. I was told by a mutual friend of ours, I should look atother outlets for support. What outlets? Friends and Family are a great support but it’s not the same thing. So now what? How does one do this? Edited May 21, 2012 by paperboy48
skywriter Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 You aren't gonna like this answer paperboy48, but from someone who had a relationship end after 17 yrs. My only way of healing and moving on, was time. Sure, I tried to keep busy, worked multiple jobs, worked out, prayed for strength often, broke down often, etc. But the best healer of all was just getting through one day to the next. You'll look back eventually and say, damn, I finally don't think of them from the moment my eyes open until I finally fall asleep. ....and it'll feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. 3
Mr Scorpio Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 For me, it was simply a matter of focusing on the fact that breaking NC brought me nothing but pain and suffering. I've never fully understood the difficulty people have with resisting the temptation to break NC in the early stages of a breakup. 1
kimeebee Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Similar situation but i'm 20 years older and spent 15 years with him, thought he was my soulmate...I haven't a hope in hell of getting him back. NC 11 days now...and the pain is unbearable..... but he loves me and is not in love with me...what can I do but accept that and let him live his life? So sorry for your pain...always here to talk to in such a sad time.
MissBee Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Cliched as it is, there is no way to do it but day by day. One foot in front of the other and slowly but surely you do detach it. It is hard to see now, but day by day, as long as you keep looking forward, you eventually come out on the other side and realize life can go on, you can be happy again and you can even meet someone new.
MissBee Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 You aren't gonna like this answer paperboy48, but from someone who had a relationship end after 17 yrs. My only way of healing and moving on, was time. Sure, I tried to keep busy, worked multiple jobs, worked out, prayed for strength often, broke down often, etc. But the best healer of all was just getting through one day to the next. You'll look back eventually and say, damn, I finally don't think of them from the moment my eyes open until I finally fall asleep. ....and it'll feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. Beautifully said! This is precisely how it works
motive2002 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 You might seek out counseling. I see a therapist myself. It's a good alternative to burning out your friends and family, which I have done to a large degree with some of my split-ups. I found me a good one. If you do seek help from a professional, get one you like. Doesn't have to be your first choice... and it's not because you're crazy or there's anything wrong with you, its for clarity and self improvement. I don't know if this is the case for you, but during a split my self worth seems to tank to abysmal levels. I'm working through that with my therapist and it's really helping. 1
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