jonybgood007 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Ok so here is the deal. Probably got married and tried to blend a family way to soon - but we did. So now almost three years into marrige (dated for about two years), I am not sure we are going to make it. I know there are always things everyone can do to improve a relationship, but I honestly don't see what I can do until my wife decides to take responsibility for what she needs to do. We live in a house of seven. I have two boys from a previous marriage (17 and 13) and she has two (17 and 8), then we have a three month old together. My son's mother is not in the picture at all. Her boys blame me for breaking up their parents (not the case at all, but I was the first boyfriend that they knew about. They had been apart for about 6 months, but her boys did not know she was dating, so I was the brunt of the blame. They were also told that by their dad), I can handle that. I work 3 - 4 evenings a week so many times it is her and all the kids at night. They have a pretty good routine. Here is the main issue: we always knew there were developmental delays with my 13 year old, but he was recently diagnosed with Asbergers. My wife cannot handle that. She is basically not willing to alter her authoritative parenting style to accomidate him, as she feels it is not fair to her kids. Every night when I come home I hear about a major fight. When I am home I feel all I do is play referee betwen them. Her attitude is trickling down to her kids and it is causing even more dissention. She wants me to move to a different house and stay in a relationship, and I think we need to work to resolve these issues to build a stronger family. At this point I am ready to throw in the towel even though I feel it is salvagable. Any ideas or questions? There is more, but this is agood starting point. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope4anangel Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I'm afraid you guys need to come to some sort of compromise. I am not aware of the ins and outs of Asbergers but if he does not 'fit' the routine, there needs to be a little leeway. Yes, perhaps she doesn't want her kids thinking they have to stick by the 'rules' and your son doesn't but your son has a condition and therefore needs to have a slightly different routine. You need to speak to your wife about this otherwise things will not get any better. You both need to make some time when it is just the two of you and talk about everything. I am thinking there are other issues although this seems to be the main one you are concerned about. Talking is the key and it sounds like you guys need to sit down and work things out. Don't chuck in the towel yet if you feel it can be worked out. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Family counseling. For everybody in the family to learn how to live together. Sounds like your wife needs instruction on how to deal with an Aspergers child. Her wanting you to move out is a cop-out move and if you all want to stay together, the best thing you can do is learn each others foibles and how to deal with them and because it involves a medical issue, the best path would be to have a medical professional offer guidance. It is more than just you guys all communicating, but a counselor can provide guidance on how the Aspergers child needs to be dealt with properly. You can't dictate it to your wife (and the rest of the family!) but if you all learn it from a professional standpoint, perhaps a cohesive family can build and grow together. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 You shoud always choose your child over a spouse. You know she would There is no compromise on this. Dump her and go for custody of the 3 month old. Link to post Share on other sites
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