dollface07 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 I thought about writing my emotions out but I think it will be better to write in LS to get any additional opinions on the matter. I have been seeing a man who is emotionally unavailable to me. He wasn't that way from Feb-First week of May. We got into an argument about something and things were never the same. He still takes me on dates and shows affection, but he almost never calls me, messages me until half an hour before our date, takes me on the date and returns me home. I am missing how we used to be I asked him earlier to just break up with me to my face rather than distancing like this and he told me it has nothing to do with me and this is due to his work pressure. He won't break up with me you all and I told him that if this behavior continues past June that I will walk away from everything in this relationship and never ever look back. After the date he told me to please not be angry and to forget about what we argued about before...I guess he cares for me, but why am I upset, crying and sad? I am hurt but not angry or resentful...just really feeling rejected and I am so confused why would I feel this way if he's technically still my boyfriend and has no intention of breaking up with me, he is never late for a date and always follows through with his word...I from the outside looking in have nothing to complain about and I am not complaining but these painful emotions I am having are very real and I don't know what they are trying to make me do/pay attention to? We are not sleeping together in order to establish trust in these early months could that be it or will adding physical intimacy further complicate matters? Any advice would be helpful, I would greatly like to stop suffering I don't want to break up with him by the way b/c I do care about him very much even if the current insensitive behavior he's exhibiting is very hurtful right now...i dont want to spend my summer vacation in pain away from him but even when i am with him I feel pretty content, but then when I depart from him I feel in pain anyway so i dont want to break up b/c at least I can have some happy moments with him there really are no other guys that i am interested in i like this one so i would like to try to turn things around but im just hurt Thank you for reading
FitChick Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 You only have a couple of weeks to go before his promised public outing of you two as an official couple. Watch this space!
Author dollface07 Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 i went to the therapist today and discovered that i am operating from a lens pertaining to a disconnection/rejection schema and it seems that my guy is operating from overvigilance/inhibition schema...so now i am just going to see about cultivating a deep relationship with myself so that in this way I have an internally secure base and then I will be able to give to this relationship rather than wanting only to take as I will have my own power source to draw from thank you for helping me remain patient and composed! warmest, Df
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