Onewink Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Hi everyone! I guess I am not only here because of what's going on but because I feel so alone. I have had to turn my back on the people I have known longest in the world and the only person that seems to give a stuff is my ex. I have been going to therapy to try and work some things out as my health hasn't been as great as it could have been. Anyway, it was identified that I should try to 'change' certain habits of a lifetime..not easy but from a person that usually 'bleeds silently'..I tried to tie up loose ends. I did this by contacting the people that have meant the most to me and been brutally honest. Basically, I feel that I have nothing left and think that a fresh start away from everything and everyone would be best. I texted my ex telling him how I felt and that things were so bad that I am looking at a move. One week later, I hear that he is stressed out and has put plans of 'going somewhere' on the shelf. The two things are that he had 'planned' a holiday this month...(but that proved to be about getting my attention and show that I still wanted him) the other thing, which seems more believable is that he is trying to push the feelings of anxiousness and loss/wanting to me by making out he was thinking of going somewhere ..which generally would precipitate some action. I am of the opinion, this is the kind of thing you would share with friends..not the whole world..and I feel like it is a desperate attempt to stop me going. It crossed my mind that he may percieve me as a bother, but if Isaid I was moving away, I don't get why HE would need to go anywhere. He has his family and friends and a different typr of life. Thing is, this all comes after he has said "Never chase love or affection. If it isn't given freely..it isn't worth having" - I KNOW this is directed at me as it was only said last month and the month before that he called me.Plus, it's true to form. I wanna know what you guys think is going on in his mind. I know he is unstable in temperament and juvenile in approach..but I can't help but feel he doesn't want this to be it. When a person moves away..that is it. Up until now, he knew I am not far away and from what I can see, he is still trying to deal with the breakup - even 18 months on ;'(
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