MadSworthy Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Hey everyone... My girlfriend and I broke up two months ago. She ended things, due to my jealous/immature actions. Following the breakup, I tried pleading with her... And even begging. I even told her that I would cry myself to sleep... BIG MISTAKE, I know. There's nothing more unattractive to a woman than a man who appears needy and desperate. But this was the first time a girl's ever broken up with me... So I had no idea how to deal with it. But after talking with friends, and reading up on strategies on the internet, I discovered that the best thing to do is to move on with my life, and not contact her for a while. However... I'm worried that my desperate tactics may have dug a hole too deep for me to get out of. Is there any chance for me to recover from that? Or did I sabotage my chances completely?
january2011 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 There are no guarantees when it comes to second chances. Yes, you can recover but you need to be in a position of strength and then re-evaluate the situation. When you have healed, you may not want a second chance with your ex. Someone else might come into your life and be a better match for you. There are so many possibilities. But right now, you need to build yourself back up again. So focus on self-care and leave the possibilities alone, for now. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 It's not manly to cry and beg so no, I won't give you another chance. Sorry 1
Author MadSworthy Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 Well I'm a sensitive guy... I've always been that way... But seriously, I can't just give up. We were planning to get married, man... Talking about how many kids we'll have and stuff like that. And we lived together too. Just the two of us. I can't give up on her after everything we've been through... I still feel the relationship is worth saving. I think we just need some time apart... I will definitely do what January suggested, to build myself back again...
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Well I'm a sensitive guy... I've always been that way... But seriously, I can't just give up. We were planning to get married, man... Talking about how many kids we'll have and stuff like that. And we lived together too. Just the two of us. I can't give up on her after everything we've been through... I still feel the relationship is worth saving. I think we just need some time apart... I will definitely do what January suggested, to build myself back again... Nope, we are done punk. D-O-N-E. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Oh wait, I see you have been working out. I do have a thing for nice abs hmmm
Motherof3 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 This one is done, MS. The best way to recover from this is to MOVE ON!
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 You can't worry about what's already been done...you just move forward. You gather and collect yourself into a position where you are poised, confident and collected again. There's nothing you can do but really take the blows that are being dealt to you emotionally and the worse thing you can do is bombard her with sappy messages and apologies, please just give me another chance everything will be better this time I promise..kinda thing. If there's any chances of reconciling it's going to have to be in a position of strength on your part, not vulnerability...get your stuff together, recalibrate yourself emotionally and move forward with the past taking your time to sort of mourn what is happening...It's not easy, and it's not meant to be but since this is your first experience it's going to of course hit you like a truck and you're going to feel extremely vulnerable and out of control. Relationships involve the efforts of two people, so there is nothing you can do to make her want to work on this again, she has to want that again herself. But by the time you get yourself together and moved on from things she'll probably be with someone else to be brutally honest with you...only after her experiences with this new person may she reflect back and miss what she had with you, causing her to feel like rekindling the past. But for now just cope and try and face all these emotions and deal with them, even write out your emotions...It will pass, but it may be a while, in the end when you're older though you'll see a lot more about this relationship than you do now and realize you guys weren't meant to be together...I can almost certainly guarantee that even though it's not something you want to hear because you want to hold onto it. I'm sure you'll fight vigorously to try and prevent the inevitable. 1
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 dont talk to her for a few months hopefully she will forget what happened. go work out and change ur hair, outfits. maybe by the time u really improved or changed drastically u wouldnt even want to be w/ her. 1
DuchessKaye Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Sometimes it's better to think that there is no more chance. Don't even think about the possibility of getting back together with her. Easier said than done though. You need a rebound girl. Simple as that!
Motherof3 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 She ended things, and it sounds like she had good reasons. You should move on! M-O-V-E O-N!
motive2002 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 She ended things, due to my jealous/immature actions. First course of action is stop assuming all the blame for the break-up. She ended it so that automatically means she had some part in it, probably a lot more. Think about it. I discovered that the best thing to do is to move on with my life, and not contact her for a while. Indeed. Full NC. Even if she messages you first. Ignore it. Is there any chance for me to recover from that? Or did I sabotage my chances completely?This is not moving on.
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