ferguson Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Hi, So distraught that I joined an internet forum! My LDR boyfriend & I see each other about once a month. I feel our time together is rare and special since we see each other so little. But when we can see each other he includes other people: Our last date he invited a bunch of his friends, our next date he has invited his brother (to the concert AND back to the house where we're staying), and this morning during sexting he didn't text back for five minutes. I wondered what happened, and when he came back on he told me "I had to take a phone call from my ex-wife, now where were we??" Haven't spoken to him since. Advice?
FitChick Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 I feel our time together is rare and special since we see each other so little. That's what you say to him.
january2011 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 He doesn't see it as a problem and/or he doesn't feel the same way about alone time as you do. A more worrying possibility is that he doesn't see your once-monthly get-togethers as dates, nor does he prioritise your relationship. I think five minutes is not a long time to wait for a text, but I understand that it can be quite disruptive if there's an interruption during a sexting conversations. To you, he was being insensitive by taking a phone call from his ex-wife, suggesting that he prioritised her over the conversation and therefore over you. Personally, I would want some kind of apology for the interruption and then I'd try to let it go. However, some people get interrupted so much due to having to juggle multiple channels of communication that they don't see it as a big deal and just pick up where they left off without an apology. Your boyfriend may be one of these people. I suggest talking to him directly. Mention to him that you'd like more alone time with him when you see each other. See what he has to say. With regard to the sexting interruption, I think that it's a minor detail at the moment. If you start seeing a pattern where he prioritises his interactions with other people over you, especially when it's his ex-wife (and it's not about kids or finances), then you might want to consider whether you and your boyfriend are on the same page when it comes to your relationship.
TMichaels Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Usually, one of the signs of someone being serious about another is introducing to their friends and family and including them in friend/family events. If he wasn't doing that, I think you'd have a lot more to be concerned about. I agree with the other posters. I think you owe it to him and yourself to bring up the subject and see what he says. Depending on what he says and how he reacts ought to give you an idea of where you fit. Best, TMichaels
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