TEfromtheNE Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 I've been dating for about six months. I'm 27 and she's 25. I'd say we're both fairly experienced in terms of dating. I got out of a very serious 4-year relationship about a year ago, dated casually for a while, and just happened to hit it off with her. She's had a number of year-plus relationships of the less serious variety (i.e. she didn't live with her former boyfriends). On paper, she's just about perfect. In reality, she's almost as perfect. She's beautiful, responsible, good with her money, intelligent, and a wonderful sex partner. She cooks for me and buys me small but thoughtful gifts, insists on either always paying for herself or treating me despite my protests to the contrary, and she tolerates my stupid but totally innocuous mannerisms. Frankly, I don't know what she sees in me, but I'm not knocking a good thing. We don't really share a lot of interests, but we always have a fun time. At least I assume we do. She could find a new suitor tomorrow, so my logic is that if she wasn't happy with me, we wouldn't be dating. The thing is, I'm not sure that our relationship is progressing. Due to her work schedule, we've seen each other twice a week since about a month into dating. That's worked out well enough, and I haven't pushed for more time together and neither has she. We have virtually no communication between dates. That's okay to an extent - she's pretty bad on the phone, and we catch up on each other's lives when we see each other. She mentions things we should do in the future, talks about what we can do on the weekends once she gets a job with a regular schedule, and she was the one who recently brought up that we were approaching six months. I'm pretty sure she's also dropped hints about me going home to meet her family, which would be okay with me. We also haven't exchanged I-love-you's yet. I'm pretty sure I do love her, but talk is cheap, and I'm content showing her my feelings rather than telling her them, at least for now. Given the collapse of my previous relationship, maybe I've inadvertently set the cautious tone of the relationship, but I'm now at the point where I'd like to know whether or not this has the potential to grow into something more serious. I also want to make sure I'm not comparing this relationship's progression to that of my last one, in which my ex and I had moved in five months after we met; we had also spent much more time together at that point, of course. Given this wordy context, here is what I'm planning on doing in the near future: 1) Sitting her down in private 2) Telling her that it's been great so far, but that we should determine whether or not we're on the same page. 3) If it seems that we're on the same page, indicating that I'd like to see more of her in the future. (If she's not okay with that, then we're probably not on the same page.) 4) Depending on the course of the conversation, either having celebratory sex or engaging in lame but still pleasant cuddling. Am I justified in want to pursue these steps? Does it seem like we even have the foundation for a serious relationship? In case I haven't made it clear, she's a pretty reserved woman, but hopefully six months is enough for anyone to determine whether or not they see long-term potential in a mate. Any observations or comments, however tangential, are more than welcome. Thanks.
mortensorchid Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Honestly, what is the problem here? Is it that you are afraid to take things to the next level? Your plan seems like a good one with ONE MAJOR NOTE that you acknowledged : You have not said "I love you". Yet. Even if you do what it is that you have mapped out in the plan, someone's got to say IT. And that IT has to come from you, otherwise you will end up with a woman who is going to throw a fit because she's going to say it and you're like "Whoa, you are insane!" and act like it's her fault. Remember this moment, guy. Decide if you are going to take this risk or not. I hope you do.
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