Why do people feel the need to place so much on dating

[Brit]

I have read posts and posts about dating sites, does he or she like me, searching relentlessly for dates. Why not use all that energy and do things productive, or spend more time in fulfilling activities that you find fun. Let dating become secondary and come about more by chance, then hunting for someone.

Maybe I am different, but I find dating sites cheesy, and actually embarrassing, it is like selling yourself off Craig's List. Why not let love come naturally by chance instead of forcing it?

[firehawk_1]

its how women are these days. they are the ones to ruin it and cause such a drama and a game. no need at all and they suck it dry for decent guys and then wonder "why cant I find a decent guy?"

 

its a fact.

 

given up and focusing on my careers....make more money...all for me.

[Brit]

There are so many logistics that play into all this drama and numerous dating fiascos. I am female, I do get alot of attention from men, and I am sure this not out of the norm for other females as well, but this sadly does not equate happiness or instantly meeting a great person. It is very superficial attention.

I feel as if the internet has inadvertently played a heavy role in uniting individuals who would have never met, and usually the case it would have been for the better had they not met.

These sites have check boxes for height, weight, all things specifically important in finding your soulmate, just joking of course. Who knows, in the real world, a woman may meet a man a few pounds heavier than she usually would take an interest in, but he has a certain way about him, he is hilarious, and she is instantly smitten. Or a man meets a woman in person he is just drawn too, and by chance she has a child, but he is so smitten, this is not a drawback....on the internet, he may have missed her by marking the box of no children.

On dating sites, people can be whomever they choose to be at that moment. People make themselves into who they think is going to catch the fish. So when a date of two complete strangers occurs, this is when things can get uncomfortable and why LS has a humongous history of why this, why that, he did this, she said that.

Awhile back when the internet dating phenomenom first took off, a friend and I decided to give it a try, when we found out another friend was doing it, so we gave it a try. I thought it was uncomfortable and usually ended up arguing with an a-hole about politics.

The reason I think many dysfunctional people harbor those sites, is I have just entered the potential for dating again, and was curious, and looked at the old site, and the SAME losers are still on there from years ago.

Yuck. I would rather be alone, then go hunting or advertising for a man:)))

[truth_seeker]

There are so many logistics that play into all this drama and numerous dating fiascos. I am female, I do get alot of attention from men, and I am sure this not out of the norm for other females as well, but this sadly does not equate happiness or instantly meeting a great person. It is very superficial attention.

I feel as if the internet has inadvertently played a heavy role in uniting individuals who would have never met, and usually the case it would have been for the better had they not met.

These sites have check boxes for height, weight, all things specifically important in finding your soulmate, just joking of course. Who knows, in the real world, a woman may meet a man a few pounds heavier than she usually would take an interest in, but he has a certain way about him, he is hilarious, and she is instantly smitten. Or a man meets a woman in person he is just drawn too, and by chance she has a child, but he is so smitten, this is not a drawback....on the internet, he may have missed her by marking the box of no children.

On dating sites, people can be whomever they choose to be at that moment. People make themselves into who they think is going to catch the fish. So when a date of two complete strangers occurs, this is when things can get uncomfortable and why LS has a humongous history of why this, why that, he did this, she said that.

Awhile back when the internet dating phenomenom first took off, a friend and I decided to give it a try, when we found out another friend was doing it, so we gave it a try. I thought it was uncomfortable and usually ended up arguing with an a-hole about politics.

The reason I think many dysfunctional people harbor those sites, is I have just entered the potential for dating again, and was curious, and looked at the old site, and the SAME losers are still on there from years ago.

Yuck. I would rather be alone, then go hunting or advertising for a man:)))

 

Is it a red flag if a woman had an OLD profile for 2-3 years?

[Brit]

Are you asking is it a red flag if a woman has been on a dating site for years searching for a man? It could mean that she is incapable of getting along with someone, so yes it could wave a flag.

Not sure if your question is in reference to my saying the same losers are on the hunt from years ago.

Yes, I believe internet dating sites as a whole are HUGE waving red flags of dysfunctional people mixed with non dysfunctional people who end up on horrible dates or end up in relationship disasters. One may get lucky, and meet someone compatible, who remains normal after the honeymoon phase is over.

My stance remains that chance meetings in person, and not advertising or persisting on relentless searches for romantic love on the internet are more likely to result in a more stable compatible unions.

[threebyfate]

I have read posts and posts about dating sites, does he or she like me, searching relentlessly for dates. Why not use all that energy and do things productive, or spend more time in fulfilling activities that you find fun. Let dating become secondary and come about more by chance, then hunting for someone.

Maybe I am different, but I find dating sites cheesy, and actually embarrassing, it is like selling yourself off Craig's List. Why not let love come naturally by chance instead of forcing it?

Quoted for emphasis and truth!!

[NateC]

its how women are these days. they are the ones to ruin it and cause such a drama and a game. no need at all and they suck it dry for decent guys and then wonder "why cant I find a decent guy?"

 

its a fact.

 

given up and focusing on my careers....make more money...all for me.

 

Yep...not saying I'd never bother with the whole dating thing, but I'm not resorting to OLD to find something...even if I've never had a relationship. Hey, I'm still young, so no rush.

[truth_seeker]

Are you asking is it a red flag if a woman has been on a dating site for years searching for a man? It could mean that she is incapable of getting along with someone, so yes it could wave a flag.

Not sure if your question is in reference to my saying the same losers are on the hunt from years ago.

 

Yes, it is in reference to the same losers being on OLD for years. Why would a woman have a OLD profile for years? She a loser?

[Brit]

I am assuming OLD is online dating, I have no idea why someone would be on an online dating site for so many years. My assumption would be for men/women, they are there for ONS, multiple hook ups only.....some people are into the swinging type lifestyle. Not me, and this is what those sites are manifested primarily of, hook ups.

The dreamers, the romantics, end up getting fooled by these characters. That is why it is my opinion, it is best to stay away from these sites.

[january2011]

Why not use all that energy and do things productive, or spend more time in fulfilling activities that you find fun.

 

Some people see dating as a productive, fulfilling and fun activity.

 

I found my SO on OLD, so I'm not going to knock it.

 

If it's not for you, and it's not for everyone, then step aside and let those who have the stomach for it do what they want to do.

[grkBoy]

I think the problem is many people tend to place value of themselves on if they have someone or not.

 

For guys, if they're easily getting laid with hot women and do not even have to spend time/money/energy on dating...they're seen as "kings".

 

If you happen to be a guy who lands a hot girl as a girlfriend or wife, you're still seen as "lucky" or even a "real man" because of what you attained.

 

From there, the guys who have a female in their lives are still seen as "better" than the guys who can't land a date or get laid. It plays hard on self-esteem and thus you see the anger and frustration form.

 

 

For women it's the same. We'll see plenty of women ridicule other women who could not get a man or keep a man. We've all seen those who think that being single equates to "loser", and those women who land a hot looking wealthy/successful husband are seen as the top of the ladder.

 

 

In the end, I notice many who seemingly look at dating as some kind of "contest" to avoid being labeled a "loser". I know in my past I had to ask my own soul why I wanted a woman so badly...and found I was playing on the same issues of feeling inadequate because I was alone and failing at dating...it's what pushed me more to get out of it all.

[Lonely Ronin]

I think it has a lot to do with the personality of the person in question. I know several people who are very social people (myself included) who like being around others. I was engaged until late 2010, and I've had one 3 month relationship since then.

 

I'm completely fine during the week, but every now and then a very strong wave of loneliness will hit me on a Saturday or Sunday night when I don't have something lined-up. It always come down to one thing, I miss the companionship; the smiling face staring back at me when I make a fool of my self, cuddling on the couch, midnight ice cream runs....