Played it cool with my ex, but not sure how to interpret her actions

[Brian83]

So if you've read any of my previous posts, this is a follow up to that. To sum it up, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me about a month ago (not long after she turned eighteen) and shortly after, started dating a guy from her work. Not long after that she told me that they were talking about moving in together. In the previous post, I was talking about how she was coming over on the weekend and I wasn't sure what to expect. So ... this is how it went:

 

I had not seen her in two weeks. She came over on her lunch break on saturday and when I opened the door I refrained from hugging her or kissing her (which I had been used to). She and I sat outside on the porch and after a minute or so she said "I don't even get a hug?" in a sad tone ... so I hugged her.

 

She asked me what I had been up to and seemed interested ... and I told her about how I'd been going out a lot lately and how I was planning on going to school in the fall and such. I didn't really ask her what she had been up to, because I wasn't sure that I wanted/needed to know. I kept a half-smile on my face, as was suggested in a reply to my previous post (which was a good idea), throughout most of the conversation, like everything was just peaches and cream. I kept an upbeat tone and held my head high.

 

I didn't tell her that I loved her and I didn't tell her that I would be there forever or anything like that, as much as I may have thought about it. She seemed ... saddened ... in a way, like it hurt to see me because we weren't together anymore (even though she broke up with me).

 

After about five minutes or more on the porch we went inside and I gave her some presents that I had got for her for her graduation (I didn't really have a chance to give them to her previous). She breathed "Okay, don't cry" after opening the last present, which was a portrait I did of her and I. She then leaned forward to kiss me ... and I didn't know what to think. I didn't read into it too much ... I didn't french kiss her or anything ... but I did meet her with a kiss. Okay, so that was nice.

 

When the time came for her to get ready to go back to work, she helped me up out of my chair and put her arms around me. We walked to the door and I think it was there that she told me that she loved me a lot and that she had been thinking about me (contrary to the impression she gave me on the phone). I told her calmly that "I could only guess." She kissed and hugged me again. She then looked like she was going to say something but then remembered that she left a shirt of hers, that I had found, in my room. I went and got the shirt and brought it to her. She started walking down the stairs to the sidewalk and this was where a lot of concern set in ... because it would have been an awkward note to leave off at. I said "hey ..." and she turned around and slowly continued to walk down the stairs and I continued "so, do you want to talk again sometime or ...?" and she nodded and said "I might call you."

 

I got a text message from her today (thursday) that said "Hey Brian. I just wanted to say thank you for the picture" and she sent another telling me that a cd that I made for her didn't work. So that's where I'm at. I held back the urge to reply to her text messages without haste. My perspective has changed over the past couple of weeks ... but I still love the girl and would definitely consider getting back together with her if she was willing.

 

I don't really know how to interpret some of her actions during the encounter. Prior to the encounter, it was me that had trouble keeping my game face on. Seeing the sadness in her eyes first hand was kind of a shock to me. I didn't know if anything I was saying was getting through to her, previous. Now, I'm just not sure what to think. She and I didn't really schedule anything ... should I just wait for her to call? Plus, if she calls, should I ask her if she wants to spend some time together? Or is that something I should wait for her to suggest? I just don't want to miss out on any opportunities. The uncertainty of it all is a big bummer.

 

Any comments or suggestions? Perhaps similar experiences?

 

Any would be appreciated - Brian

[danny8630]

Brian -

 

Thats cool that she was feeling your presents and stuff. And that was a valiant effort to hold your own, i wish i could refrain from anything when a chick comes over. Thats even more cool that she loves you a lot, she obviously wants to be your friend. I wish i could say more but it sounds like a decent encounter with the ex. Don't wait by the phone for her, keep doing your thing.

[Brian83]

Yeah, I don't think I'll be waiting by the phone this time. I love her and all but I don't think there's really anything I can do at this point except step back and wait for her to make the next move. I remember how I felt when she and I had split up about a year ago, by my choice, and I remember how curious I was about what she was up to and all. I told her not to call me or what not and like ... she didn't ... and it bothered me that she didn't ... even though I asked her not to, hehe. I eventually got back in touch with her and she and I got back together. This time the roles are reversed. Only now do I think I can say that I fully understand how she felt when she and I had split up before. I have definitely learned a great deal from all of this, in any case.