Necris Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I noticed women in general do not think I am very attractive so what should I do? This isn't anything new to me its been apparent forever it seems. Like a couple of days ago I overheard a couple of girls whispering about me talking behind my back both girls themselves were obese so that was actually kind of funny, but annoying at the same time since I've had been nice to them but they talk behind my back oh well. This behavior isn't actually that unusual it seems that in my experience women in general do not seem to be attracted to me just cold, distant, unfriendly, and a woman flirting with me or actually not rejecting me and wanting to go out with me is something totally unheard of. So I was wondering what should I do? Sometimes I wish I could just totally stop thinking about women I would probably feel so much better.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Well what do you look like? Most people do a lil self maintenance to improve upon what nature gave them. Without knowing what you look like, it's difficult to make that call. Is it your weight? If so, you can work on this. Body shape/type? You can work out. Body hair? Hair colour? Features? Your style/clothes? Your smell/personal hygiene? Is it something you can change or is it something that you have to accept?
gaius Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm sure the women around here could give you some tips if you posted a pic or two.
bac Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I noticed women in general do not think I am very attractive so what should I do? So I was wondering what should I do? Sometimes I wish I could just totally stop thinking about women I would probably feel so much better. It depends on what exactly wrong with you? There are too many options to choose how to attract girls.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I dunno. Lose weight? Build muscle? Get plastic surgery? But you should try and not associate with women like the ones you described. There are nice people out there who wouldn't treat you like crap for no reason like that.
DjinnAgain Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 First, are you sure they are talking about you negatively or was it whispers and assumptions? I only ask because I had a guy friend once, very shy, and he always assumed people were thinking and saying the worse, and that it was about him not anything else. That is, it was less about what other people thought and more about what he thought of himself. Beyond that, if you're a hygienic person, there are women who will find you attractive - but what you do for broad appeal, it is hard to say without pictures.
Kamille Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm always surprised at the amount of people who report being laughed at by people of the other gender. People who spend time bashing complete strangers are complete losers. I have never been part of any such conversations, and I can tell you, my friends are attractive. If we talk about a guy, it's because we think he's cute. That said, there are things you can do to improve your looks. I don't think you need to post a picture. We all know what they are... 1. Dress to attract the kind of person you find attractive. I, for instance, like a guy who has a classy style. I therefore dress classy. 2. Work out. (within weeks, you'll feel much better about yourself). 3. Get a good hairdresser, who can cut your hair so that your best facial features shine through. 4. Work on your people skills: the ability to "make friends and influence people ;)" is a valuable asset. 5. Improve your posture: this might happen naturally as you work out, but stand proud. If you don't feel it, fake it. And finally, don't let the opinion of complete strangers affect your self-esteem. They don't know you or what you have to offer. Best of luck. 6
mark 40 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I noticed women in general do not think I am very attractive so what should I do? This isn't anything new to me its been apparent forever it seems. Like a couple of days ago I overheard a couple of girls whispering about me talking behind my back both girls themselves were obese so that was actually kind of funny, but annoying at the same time since I've had been nice to them but they talk behind my back oh well. This behavior isn't actually that unusual it seems that in my experience women in general do not seem to be attracted to me just cold, distant, unfriendly, and a woman flirting with me or actually not rejecting me and wanting to go out with me is something totally unheard of. So I was wondering what should I do? Sometimes I wish I could just totally stop thinking about women I would probably feel so much better. in a dating context it doesnt matter if you are ugly or average to slightly above average to a woman. they tend to insist on a man who blows her away with his looks on the first date. its better to have most women think you're grossly ugly but one think you're hot than for all to think you're average.
Freddys Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Women don't find you attractive, mostly means you are not. Causes: no good looking, no confident style, overly nice to females, last but no least, totally inexperienced with women & relationships (which lead us to "nerd" effect or virgin attitude). Practice! practice! practice!
mark 40 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Women don't find you attractive, mostly means you are not. Causes: no good looking, no confident style, overly nice to females, last but no least, totally inexperienced with women & relationships (which lead us to "nerd" effect or virgin attitude). Practice! practice! practice! what the hell
Freddys Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 what the hell What the what? Things are just simple as I say . . . Bingo.
Author Necris Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 First, are you sure they are talking about you negatively or was it whispers and assumptions? I only ask because I had a guy friend once, very shy, and he always assumed people were thinking and saying the worse, and that it was about him not anything else. That is, it was less about what other people thought and more about what he thought of himself. Beyond that, if you're a hygienic person, there are women who will find you attractive - but what you do for broad appeal, it is hard to say without pictures. I'm pretty sure they were talking negatively about me, what most people do not know is that I have unusually good hearing, whispers are very audible so its as if you are talking about me in my face but thinking you are doing it behind my back. Unfortunately I can't show a picture of myself since for one I don't keep pictures of me around and I'm not really comfortable giving them out, but I will say, to myself I'm not that unattractive and I've seen guys who I perceive as alot less attractive than me getting women with ease. I am 6 foot 3 inches 230lbs, Black and somewhat muscular (I can bench 270). Perhaps I could lose some weight and become better conditioned I'm not obese or anything but I don't have ripped muscles either and having fat is quite unnecessary, my skin could be better, and I do have severe scoliosis and one of my hands hasn't developed properly both of these are congenital birth defects and according to my doctor and other people not actually noticeable at all. Typically I wear a polo or gamer shirt, blue or black jeans, basketball shoes, glasses, and sometimes I wear headphones to listen to music.
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 sigh. some women dont give a flying fudge about looks, that is a guy thing..it is a girl thing if the girl is young..but usually the ones worth dating and the ones that want to be in a stable relationship would really abandon looks over personality.
FitChick Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Is your scoliosis noticeable when you wear clothes? One shoulder higher or a hump on your back?
Author Necris Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 Is your scoliosis noticeable when you wear clothes? One shoulder higher or a hump on your back? Actually one shoulder is higher but no one comments on this so it can't be that noticeable.
carhill Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I noticed women in general do not think I am very attractive so what should I do? Short of reading their minds, save for those who actually have told you this, it's really hard (darn near impossible) to know with any real certainty what the truth of the matter is. What to do? Live your life on your terms. Fuggetabout it being fair or equitable. Proactively reject those you don't find attractive or whom demean or otherwise offend you. Grab your life by the balls and steer it where you want it to go. Trust me, no one else gives a d@mn. Giving a d@mn is earned. Make them earn yours. 1
Imported Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 If you have a big penis, walk around with it hanging out. Dead serious. Or just wear clothing that will show the outline of the penis. Women are concerned about such things and knowing off the bat that you're packing will excite them. People might think I am joking, but I'm not....ok, maybe with the hanging out part.
NateC Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 If you have a big penis, walk around with it hanging out. Dead serious. Or just wear clothing that will show the outline of the penis. Women are concerned about such things and knowing off the bat that you're packing will excite them. People might think I am joking, but I'm not....ok, maybe with the hanging out part. Well, the first piece would probably get you arrested for indecent exposure. Just saying. My tip: Simply just don't care what other people think. If they're shallow in their thinking and dismiss you based on looks alone, they don't deserve *you* as a full package. Period.
Author Necris Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 Well, the first piece would probably get you arrested for indecent exposure. Just saying. My tip: Simply just don't care what other people think. If they're shallow in their thinking and dismiss you based on looks alone, they don't deserve *you* as a full package. Period. Unfortunately in my personal experience essentially all women I have ever known (not just the ones I am attracted to) don't seem to be attracted to me at all. The women I described in the OP are fairly typical.
Freddys Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Unfortunately in my personal experience essentially all women I have ever known (not just the ones I am attracted to) don't seem to be attracted to me at all. The women I described in the OP are fairly typical. 1. How old are you? 2. Are you a virgin? 3. Even been into a relationship with a woman? Excuse me to ask you such straight questions but is the only way to see what's going on.
Author Necris Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 1. How old are you? 2. Are you a virgin? 3. Even been into a relationship with a woman? Excuse me to ask you such straight questions but is the only way to see what's going on. I'm actually a young guy in my early twenties and yes I am a total virgin, and I've never been in a relationship with a woman.
Chiyo Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Working out does wonders for your own self-esteem. Even if it just means going on walks. As a woman, I will tell you that confidence and personality will make up for almost anything and everything. Be confident when you talk to people, be funny, work on just generally being friendly. Try this out on some girls who are not talking about you or being otherwise very rude. Also, go to events associated with your interests to meet more like-minded people, such as through meetup.com If you have confidence in yourself, other people will too. When my bf and I started dating, he introduced me to one of his friends. He was pretty worried because he felt his friend would hit on me or in other ways attempt to "steal me", and he was worried his friend might be successful (I might decide his friend was better than him). I was horrified by this, but he said his friend was just a natural ladies man, and had no problem getting women to fall all over him. My bf is quite attractive by most people's standards. He's extremely smart, well educated and athletic. He was also in his mid-twenties at the time and not experienced with women, and had almost no history with dating (none since early high school). He was horribly shy around girls (still is actually). His friend was extremely average looking, average height, average build. Had a decent job as an engineer though, drove a BMW, dressed like your average geeky guy. Apparently was doing pretty well for himself, not rich, but not hurting. Same age as my bf. Looked like a pretty average computer geek (and we were in the Silicon Valley). I met him, he was funny, a bit on the cocky/arrogant side, but very warm and inviting. And an odd cross of geek meets smarmy guy hitting on you in the bar. All in all, I was appalled that *this* was the guy my bf was worried about. But, to his credit, he had confidence. He had no shame in talking to any girl, no matter how "far out of his league" she might be. And he had about a 95% success rate. Young girls, older girls, beautiful girls, quirky girls, you name it. Not a single girl I have since met that was one of his exs was anything short of very pretty. While I found him to be somewhat on the creepy side, (maybe because I was the gf of one of his supposed best friends?) the moral of this story is that confidence WORKS, and it clearly has nothing to do with how built, ripped, tall, or hot you are. (This guy was 5'10, no build, very average).
canoeracer Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 if women don't 'fancy' you nothing works Hey brother, if things are really as bad as you are saying (I'm sure they're not), why don't you focus your life on being super successful and making a ton of money? 1
Sid6.7 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 becuase i'm 40 years old and a virgin. that's why. how long should i wait? I really, really don't mean to derail the OP's topic. But Mark, dammit man. You take a defeatist attitude, a failures attitude. Your first problem is that you are waiting. Never wait. Same goes to you OP. Remind yourself you are the sperm that won.
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