moosekaka Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Is this normal to feel jealous/bitter when you hear news that your ex has a great opportunity/job coming up far away? She got a summer internship at a research lab. When we were still working together she told me she wanted to apply for a summer work internship to get working experience, seems this internship is just research in another lab. Whatever, point is, instead of feeling happy for her, I am just sad/angry/bitter that she's doing great and I'm.....spinning my wheels. I know they say that "living life well is the best revenge" but I never really bought into that line of thought. Now I feel like I want to do better in my work just to be able to regain some self respect and show her....
CopingGal Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Forget about showing her. Concentrate on yourself for yourself.
Author moosekaka Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 here's the rub....she leaves in a month for three months... very likely I won't be here anymore when she returns. If I don't say anything to her or see her before she leaves I probably will never do so again. The last time we spoke it did not go well : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/313318-i-broke-nc-she-wont-engage Now I know people are going to say stay NC, there is nothing more to say, it wont do any good etc, and I know they are right. But I have this feeling that if I let this one last chance to meet/say goodbye to her before she leaves I am going to regret it for a long time. And I don't know what I really want to say to her in the event she lets me do so anyway, which will probably be a short conversation. Two things that are different: I am working somewhere else (but still on campus, we are no longer colleagues) and more than six months have past. Lots of time to reflect. I am afraid of going to see her because of what I may feel if she blows me off again, but something is constantly eating at me to go see her, at least make an effort to part without such sourness. Any advice?
Author moosekaka Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 Also significant dates that came and past included her birthday and her presentation at a symposium which I was to be there with her, had things worked out. Everytime these dates approach my stress and emotional anxiety would skyrocket and I would be thrown back in a funk, kinda like when you hear of your ex getting married. I just have this feeling that when the time comes for her to leave for her internship its gonna kill me if I haven't said anything to her by then.
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