MashedPotato Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) Hi all, I'm new here, so my apologies if you've seen much of what I'm about to ask already... My now ex-boyfriend broke up with me almost 3 months ago after we had been together for a bit over a year. Our relationship was long-distance for the most part (he's studying in another city), but functional; we usually saw each other every fortnight and spoke every day. We had always been honest about the fact that the LDR wasn't ideal, but that we would do whatever we had to do, so long as it was worth it. I loved him and we were really happy together, and were excited that this was his last few months away. About a month before he broke it off, he had become a bit distant and seemed to get frustrated easily with me. After a night out, he became really upset and confided in me that he found it so hard, but that I couldn't possibly know how much he loved me. I assumed he wasn't settling in to being back at college as he's never really liked it there. On the last time I went to visit, he ended it, saying that he had a "feeling" that he just hadn't been able to shake that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He didn't know what it was but never talked to me about it and just hoped it would go away. I was shattered. He was upset as well and seemed so unsure about what he wanted; he couldn't give me a straight answer about anything, so I suggested we take a break. I left the next day, and our break lasted for about 10 days before he officially ended it. Things had gotten 'too serious,' he said (even though he pursued me, told me he loved me first and brought up the conversations we'd had about children - but yeah, too serious. What?!). So I cut off contact with him (no texts, calls or facebook), explaining that I needed time and space to deal with everything. He respected my wishes and didn't contact me. After about a month of NC, I caved and sent a simple 'how are you?' text. He responded almost immediately and at length about what he'd been up to; he threw me a few breadcrumbs (that he'd wanted to see me etc) and was enthusiastic about my new job (seems he'd been asking about me...). We chatted for a while - nothing serious - before I ended it, saying it was nice to hear from him. That was it for about another month when I texted again (I know, I know) saying that I was coping much better and that I respected his decision, and that he could call sometime if he felt like a chat. He responded again saying he was glad to hear it and apologised again for how things went down. He said he'd missed talking to me and still cared about me. I ended it again, but didn't receive a response. Finally, about a week ago, I accidentally dialled him (an HONEST accident!) and tried to disconnect the call before it appeared on his end. A few moments later, he sent me an IM message asking how I was and that he had a few moments if I wanted to talk (which makes me think I wasn't quick enough!). He called, and we talked for about 20 minutes. He seemed genuinely pleased to hear from me and enjoyed telling me all about what he's been up to. I told him all about my new job and exciting career prospects, and then ended it before things got awkward. Again, he said it was really good to hear from me. That night, he added me back to FB (I had deleted him), and I accepted. I haven't heard from him since then. It seems to me (from what I've read in other posts here) to be GIGS, and I'd just like some opinions on whether or not we have a chance at reconciliation? I miss him so much and would love another shot at our relationship. Many thanks! Edited May 20, 2012 by MashedPotato
Svet74 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I would keep nc. Seems like he was just touching base with you. Keep nc and keep healing
Author MashedPotato Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 Thanks. Unfortunately I caved tonight and we spoke on Facebook for about 30 minutes (it's been about 10 days). It was nothing heavy, just a polite catch-up really. I'm really at a loss for what to do. I don't feel like I can delete him from Facebook now that I've accepted him back, but it's complete torture having his page there. I want to be with him but I know I can't keep getting my hopes up because I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. Please? Anyone?
Andrew2888 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I'm on my phone so I will read all of your story when I get home.but I just lost my girlfriend to gigs.I know your pain it hurts so much to think they want to see other people. I brok nc many times just stay strong the good news is they usually return.
loversreunited Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 Hey, My advice to you is keep strict no contact and stay strong, and confident. Keep your dignity. This sounds like gigs. I lost my ex boyfriend due to gigs 11 months ago and I am still getting little breadcrumbs here and there from him up until the other day by him adding me on FB then blocking me after. Heal yourself and move on. I keep hearing the usually come back but its hard to believe it. He's currently with another guy since about 2 months after we split. I love my ex more than anything in this world, but I have to understand he has to do this for himself, he's young and will be 22 in a few weeeks. I am 26 and have my life established now. We were together for 2 years, but yes as everyone is suggesting don't let him string you along. It will only delay your healing. If he loves you enough and cherishes what you two had together, he will return. Take care.
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