somedude81 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Last time I checked, I'm not 14; so how come I'm still getting nervous when I talk to girls I'm even a little bit interested in. Earlier at work today I had an short conversation with a girl I'm somewhat interested in. But the conversation was awkward and I couldn't flow like I normally can. I also felt my heart racing, mouth got dry and felt like I was going to start sweating. WTF!? I should be long past that stage.
USMCHokie Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 The issue is that you think you need to act any differently because you like a girl versus talking with anyone else...so you get nervous wondering whether you're "flirting" correctly, etc. You are probably as overly analytical in real time conversation as you are on LS...which creates the nervousness...you simply get in your own way... 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 That happens to a lot of guys, especially if they have previously found it difficult in their younger years. It happens to me a lot still. Your challenge for now is to reframe that nervousness and reprogram yourself to react differently to that nervousness. What I've been learning to do is to use the nervousness as adrenalin instead of overthinking it. It can actually help, and a side effect is that you won't dwell on the outcome so much. Hokie makes a good point aswell. When you're talking to a girl you like, one of the best ways to have a better interaction is this: DON'T THINK!! 1
SJC2008 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 It's a mental block. I helped a blonde bombshell yesterday but she was foreign, Russian!. As soon as I heard the accent it took the fear factor away? Why is that? I held good eye contact, smiled and she gave me one wicked grin when walking out. She's married but I'll take a great smile from an attractive woman any day! I've been trying to work on this "Mental block" for a while but I still get nervous. You can hide it though with practice. Start with eye contact skills, google "eye contact with women" 1
johan Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Age has little to do with it. Practice makes the difference. 3
Author somedude81 Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 There you go again, somedude... Hmm? The issue is that you think you need to act any differently because you like a girl versus talking with anyone else...so you get nervous wondering whether you're "flirting" correctly, etc. You are probably as overly analytical in real time conversation as you are on LS...which creates the nervousness...you simply get in your own way... You may be right. I think I've been putting pressure on myself to interact with her and my body reacted the way it did because of it. Then not even 10 minutes later, I had a nice conversation with a girl I have no interest in. And I was perfectly calm. That happens to a lot of guys, especially if they have previously found it difficult in their younger years. It happens to me a lot still. Your challenge for now is to reframe that nervousness and reprogram yourself to react differently to that nervousness. What I've been learning to do is to use the nervousness as adrenalin instead of overthinking it. It can actually help, and a side effect is that you won't dwell on the outcome so much. Hokie makes a good point aswell. When you're talking to a girl you like, one of the best ways to have a better interaction is this: DON'T THINK!! Don't think? How else am I supposed to redirect that nervousness and challenge it? It's a mental block. I helped a blonde bombshell yesterday but she was foreign, Russian!. As soon as I heard the accent it took the fear factor away? Why is that? I held good eye contact, smiled and she gave me one wicked grin when walking out. She's married but I'll take a great smile from an attractive woman any day! I've been trying to work on this "Mental block" for a while but I still get nervous. You can hide it though with practice. Start with eye contact skills, google "eye contact with women" I'm not sure about that for me. I think having interest is the key, and not how attractive she is. Though one thing I've noticed is that if a girl has shown me that she is "safe," I'll have no problem talking to her regardless of how good she looks. Age has little to do with it. Practice makes the difference. Is it practice or random? What's weird, is that I was more nervous just having a normal conversation with this girl, then when I actually asked somebody out a while ago. It doesn't make any sense to me.
Meeks7 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Last time I checked, I'm not 14 Age has little bearing. A person can be 30 but still more like 14 in mind and emotion. Just because someone is 30 doesn't automatically make them capable of doing things a "regular" 30 year old can do. Last time I checked, I'm not 14; so how come I'm still getting nervous when I talk to girls I'm even a little bit interested in. One word answer: obsession Six word answer: It's your ONLY passion in life Earlier at work today I had an short conversation with a girl I'm somewhat interested in. But the conversation was awkward and I couldn't flow like I normally can. I also felt my heart racing, mouth got dry and felt like I was going to start sweating. WTF!? I should be long past that stage. Four word answer: Sounds like you're regressing Longer answer: The problem as I see it from your posts is simple. As human beings we are continually either improving or regressing in life. We can regress in a myriad of ways. Either we really screw up (i.e. constantly make clear-cut poor decisions such as over drinking with the temptation to get in the car afterward) or the more subtle way of regressing: doing nothing with your life and being stuck in the same exact position you were a year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago. In other words, by standing still for so long, you're not improving. And if you're not improving, you're declining or regressing. It's a different ball game being "socially inadequate" at age 20 than it is age 25 and than it is at 30. I know you won't enjoy reading this, but that doesn't change the fact that it has to be reiterated: if you don't start seeking real life help (i.e. making friends as a positive first step toward healing, reaching out to professionals, etc.), then you're only going to get worse. How do I know this? I was in your shoes at one point in my life. I had no friends, I woke up everyday determined to get a girlfriend, but I had nothing to offer. Then I started to get nervous around girls, and it just got worse and worse. Eventually I reached out, developed a healthy social circle, found other passions in life, and I wake up these days having a sense of real purpose in life and finding myself at peace. I'm even dating this cute girl right now, and she was introduced to me by my good guy buddy, Roger. Having friends DOES matter and it does help. Without Roger, I never would have met Beth. More importantly, without reaching out and stepping out of my comfort zone to actually make some friends, I became a healthier more well-rounded person. Your problems seem to be isolation, lack of action and a defeated attitude before you can even give yourself a chance. I have bad news, if left unchecked, you're going to be the same way at 32, 34, etc. I was lucky enough to have addressed my issues of isolation and "paralysis by analysis" not too late in my life, and so too can you. Like I said, the older you get, the more serious your unaddressed issues will become. It's "acceptable" at 16. Not uncommon at 20. Even passable still at 24. But then suddenly around 25 it becomes a legitimate issue. At 30 it only magnifies and it will only get worse for you. Please don't let 2012 pass you by by standing still in the same exact spot as you did in 2011, 2008, and so forth. Change bit by bit starting today, or remain standing still and watch as you regress with Father Time. It's your choice. So far you've been picking the latter, and that's why your problems are only getting worse with time. Your "skills" remain the same (or lack thereof), but the years of frustration and "lack of success" are building up. And you're getting older which makes it even all the more harder to connect with girls in their early 20's. Before you say "this is all off-topic," I'm merely answering your question. I know you probably won't like this answer, but trust me coz I've been there... this is reality. Now, what are you going to CHOOSE to do about it? Are you going to plot out some small steps to take, or will you just remain standing still? If you choose to remain standing still, we'll see you in the same exact spot this time next year, except you'll be 31. And then the year after that, except you'll be 32. Meanwhile, the gap between you and girls in their early 20s will only widen, making it even more impossible for you to even befriend them. The longer you wait/deny the real issues at hand, the worse it will be for you. I know. I've been there. 2
Meeks7 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I see you are not interested in making any changes in your life whatsoever. Your denial is only going to make things worse and worse. Things aren't going to get magically better without you addressing issues head-on. Good luck with that.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 It's bio-chemical SomeDude. You don't reason your way into nervousness, do you? It's not a maturity thing either--this is why there are bars and traditions of drinking around social occasions. If your mind and body work in a certain way, is there any rationality one can just take on to make that mind and body relationship change permently? I don't think so. I know from my accidental exposure to medication by way of taking an SSRI for depression that my bio-chemistry changed just enough to figure out why I blush and how to out-think my flood of feelings. But I'm sure I could never have come up with the knowledge I now have by myself. Just sayin'. It's there if you want to stop wasting time and take control over your biology to some greater degree. It's not the old crutch of drinking or medicating to stop feeling--it's a pair of eyeglasses for the mind to understand how thoughts and feelings work inside the self. Then you can go back to living without it--after you get the big "A-HA" moment.
Badsingularity Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 so how come I'm still getting nervous when I talk to girls I'm even a little bit interested in. You care too much. If you didn't care you wouldn't be nervous. Next time you talk to a girl try not to care or think about what to say just let the words come out of your mouth. Say something goofy? Who cares. Laugh at your self. Say something crass? Who cares. Just try to have fun. The funny thing is. Women will like you more if you don't realy care about what she thinks about you while your talking, so by not caring, and not worrying or trying, you will actually be more attractive because you are being the real you. and not trying to impress. 2
Badsingularity Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 If your mind and body work in a certain way, is there any rationality one can just take on to make that mind and body relationship change permently? I don't think so. I know from my accidental exposure to medication by way of taking an SSRI for depression that my bio-chemistry changed just enough to figure out why I blush and how to out-think my flood of feelings. But I'm sure I could never have come up with the knowledge I now have by myself. Just sayin'. It can be done without any medication. I figured all this stuff out without any help. I was able to change the way my body reacted around women just through thinking about things differently and changing my behaviour. Glad it worked for you though. 1
Teknoe Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Sounds like you're regressing doing nothing with your life and being stuck in the same exact position you were a year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago. In other words, by standing still for so long, you're not improving. And if you're not improving, you're declining or regressing. It's a different ball game being "socially inadequate" at age 20 than it is age 25 and than it is at 30 Interesting thought there. SD, do you feel you have regressed? Are you in the same exact position today as you were this time last year? 2010? 2009? If you're stuck in the same state of mind year after year, then yes, I wouldn't be so quick as to discount the theory of regressing. People regress when they don't make any advances in their life. After so many years, things get worse when they don't get better. You don't necessarily stay the same as a person gets worse over time being stuck in the same position. What do you think? Is there any validity to this, or is it utter BS? Or somewhere in-between?
Els Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I think it's normal to be slightly nervous when talking to someone that you're really attracted to. I feel the same way, usually, but that is a signal in its own right, where I come from, so it isn't necessarily detrimental.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 It can be done without any medication. I figured all this stuff out without any help. I was able to change the way my body reacted around women just through thinking about things differently and changing my behaviour. Glad it worked for you though. Good for you. I wish there weren't a stigma though to getting help from medicine for this. People seem to want to get out the axes and torches for suggesting real medicine when in fact the world is medicating social anxiety in lots of less effective and more problematic ways. If one is an adult and still nervous and blushing to the extent of not taking social risks much at all, then it's time to just say, hey, I got one of those over-active "feeling systems" that maybe I can't wish away. People can try to put themselves in social situations that cause them to get used to it and that works for some but not for many. I got used to public speaking before there was these medications and I was proud of my style and ease with it. But I still felt the nerves in making first contact and needed to learn more about stuff I couldn't reason out then--like people being self-conscious themselves and not thinking about me. Once I convinced myself of that I don't feel I needed to learn much more about what was going on in why I would blush and get nervous.
Author somedude81 Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 It's bio-chemical SomeDude. You don't reason your way into nervousness, do you? Most likely not. I really think that it's because I'm forcing myself to talk to her and trying to make conversation, so it's not natural. And for some reason that's giving me this reaction. It's not a maturity thing either--this is why there are bars and traditions of drinking around social occasions. If your mind and body work in a certain way, is there any rationality one can just take on to make that mind and body relationship change permently? I don't think so. I know from my accidental exposure to medication by way of taking an SSRI for depression that my bio-chemistry changed just enough to figure out why I blush and how to out-think my flood of feelings. But I'm sure I could never have come up with the knowledge I now have by myself. Just sayin'. It's there if you want to stop wasting time and take control over your biology to some greater degree. It's not the old crutch of drinking or medicating to stop feeling--it's a pair of eyeglasses for the mind to understand how thoughts and feelings work inside the self. Then you can go back to living without it--after you get the big "A-HA" moment. I really need to start being in situations where women and alcohol mix. Liquid courage is probably the solution to everything. You care too much. If you didn't care you wouldn't be nervous. Next time you talk to a girl try not to care or think about what to say just let the words come out of your mouth. Say something goofy? Who cares. Laugh at your self. Say something crass? Who cares. Just try to have fun. The funny thing is. Women will like you more if you don't realy care about what she thinks about you while your talking, so by not caring, and not worrying or trying, you will actually be more attractive because you are being the real you. and not trying to impress. Yeah I do care, the fact that I have desire for her, makes it almost impossible not to. How do you not care when you have a goal? Interesting thought there. SD, do you feel you have regressed? Of course not. His post was so ridiculous I didn't even bother reading the whole thing. What do you think? Is there any validity to this, or is it utter BS? Or somewhere in-between? Utter BS. I think it's normal to be slightly nervous when talking to someone that you're really attracted to. I feel the same way, usually, but that is a signal in its own right, where I come from, so it isn't necessarily detrimental. What's funny is that I don't think I'm that attracted to her. There's another at my work who is much more attractive than her, and I can joke around with her no problem. But she has a boyfriend and is off-limits. I think that the fact that I want something from this girl, is what is giving me trouble. I'm just dissaponted in myself because I can talk to girls, and I've asked out other girls without being nervous, so this is just odd for me.
fflolhaha Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 I don't know ur background, but you sound like me a little. I'm from SoCal too. That could explain it.... Who are you goin for?? I see all these girls, but they're like, kinda 'typically cute'. I think.. I'm 'untypically' looking but then, my fear is that by dating those girls, I will be forced to sorta start.. like getting tattoos and joining in on the masse... But the thing is, I realize.. looks TOTALLY matter. Even though I don't got tats, I don't need em.. I just don't.. cause I don't want to follow the trend and all that. is that your prob maybe??? OR, maybe... the reverse. But something about... being in socal, being single... It's like, there's a weird shift that occurs from single life to married life... That is, you go from a drug loving crazy cool young liberal to a totaly boring conservative. Are you having 'values' issues? Are you against smoking, drugs, etc. Or, maybe FOR? And they're against? haha. I know, I hate it here.... but, I think, some people get 'stuck' in single life too long, where, you know you'll end up an old person stuck with crazy liberals...... Old people's fear is, not following other old people's paths, and all old people eventually conserve down..... I'm almost 40. Just like you. I'm in socal, dated a lot ever since the 80's and 90's. I thought I got over my stupid "high school nerves" in 1989. But, now.. today.. still, I 'blank out', or laugh like a retard when she unexpectly compliments me. It happened just 2 days ago. I blew a chance cause, I wasn't expecting a compliment... I did that stupid "who, me?? haha .. oh, noooo... " Girls HATE that. If I was ready.. I'd fake it and be like "thank you!!!! yesss... I'm so happy you noticed... blah blah.. I worked on this for like 83 years and .. yes, thank you... " See, now that's what they like to hear. But... yeah.. it's like Poker man.. How many times do you pound yourself in the head saying "I should've called!!! ughhh!!!!" Me and you my friend, are what we call the "regulars" ... in poker the regulars are the guys who never win, but keep trying.....
Teknoe Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 ^ SD is 30, not "almost 40." There is a big difference between 30 and late 30s. SD, I looked up regress and it means this: Regress: 1. (intr) to return or revert, as to a former place, condition, or mode of behavior Are you not in the same situation today as you were a year ago, or two, three years ago? This latest thread of yours seems to suggest you're doing even worse with girls now than you did even just 10 months ago? (I think it's becoming too big of a roadblock in your own mind). If you are, then I understand why he suggested you have regressed. Because in life if you're not getting better you are busy getting worse. However, you claim you haven't regressed. OK, so what have you done? Have you improved then? What results do you have to show for your improvement? 1
mooninite Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 You care too much. If you didn't care you wouldn't be nervous. Next time you talk to a girl try not to care or think about what to say just let the words come out of your mouth. Say something goofy? Who cares. Laugh at your self. Say something crass? Who cares. Just try to have fun. The funny thing is. Women will like you more if you don't realy care about what she thinks about you while your talking, so by not caring, and not worrying or trying, you will actually be more attractive because you are being the real you. and not trying to impress. But this begs the question. What if the real you is a bad person? I hate to admit it, but the "real" me is a fast-talking, super hyper and twitchy person that's overly cynical and elitist, is prone to making offensive and politically incorrect jokes. It's also hard for me to genuinely care about what people are talking about, unless it's something I'm interested in. How does one change that? I need to be a more open minded and less judgmental, calmer, slower talking. I need to get more mainstream tastes and views, and more knowledge and appreciation for pop culture... but it's just so hard.
mooninite Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) But this begs the question. What if the real you is a bad person? I hate to admit it, but the "real" me is a fast-talking, super hyper and twitchy person that's overly cynical and elitist, is prone to making offensive and politically incorrect jokes. It's also hard for me to genuinely care about what people are talking about, unless it's something I'm interested in. How does one change that? I need to be a more open minded and less judgmental, calmer, slower talking. I need to get more mainstream tastes and views, and more knowledge and appreciation for pop culture... but it's just so hard. Examples for me to elaborate: There's this new popular song "Call Me Maybe". For some reason most girls are raving about it, like it being a throwback to teen pop or Britney. Was talking to some chicks about it at the bar where the song came on, made a snobbish comment about that kind of music, said it sucked. Said I didn't like the song. I feel like most "normal" guys would've claimed to like it, pretend they have a good time dancing to it (or perhaps they actually like it as well?), cracked a non-offensive joke about it. I just couldn't bring myself to dance to it, or even pretend to like it. Why was I so uptight? But on the other hand... am I being true to myself? Perhaps I just am hanging out with the wrong crowd? Another example: People in my demographic (i'm 26), mid/young twenties, seem to like trashy reality TV. Like Jersey Shore and Real World. Which includes dressing up as guidos, going to the bars dressed like guido sluts and bros. I ****ing hate it. And we're talking about white, yuppie, college-educated kids in a metro urban area. In California. Someone has a goddamn birthday barcrawl in your social circle, and decides to do a Jersey Shore theme. What are my options? 1. Stay at home alone, and mope and regret not going out. 2. Go out, but don't dress up or pretend to like the show. Be the "rebel" and trash talk the show, the debbie downer, party pooper, stand awkwardly at the bar while everyone dances to ****ty house music. or 3. Sell my principles, spend $20-30 on a one-time use costume/props to dress up, somehow pretend as if I enjoy looking and acting like a douchebag from TV. those are just 2 examples from this weekend. what am i do to? am i just hanging out with the wrong crowd? but who? it seems like everyone is like that. I feel like I have to over analyze everything I say in order to be a more positive person. But this make me pretty "average" and boring. And don't get my wrong. I'd trade all this anytime and sell my soul just so I could fit in. Edited May 21, 2012 by mooninite
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Last time I checked, I'm not 14; so how come I'm still getting nervous when I talk to girls I'm even a little bit interested in. Earlier at work today I had an short conversation with a girl I'm somewhat interested in. But the conversation was awkward and I couldn't flow like I normally can. I also felt my heart racing, mouth got dry and felt like I was going to start sweating. WTF!? I should be long past that stage. Pretty normal. Still happens to lots of people I think, not just with women, but in social situations with new people.
Forever Learning Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) Last time I checked, I'm not 14; so how come I'm still getting nervous when I talk to girls I'm even a little bit interested in. Earlier at work today I had an short conversation with a girl I'm somewhat interested in. But the conversation was awkward and I couldn't flow like I normally can. I also felt my heart racing, mouth got dry and felt like I was going to start sweating. WTF!? I should be long past that stage. Don't feel bad, SomeDude. I'm early forties, decent looking, and I STILL get nervous when talking to men. It's ridiculous. It's a real downer. I do understand. I think Johan is right, it is likely a matter of practice. I haven't been out enough in the past few years, and I HAVE regressed, undoubtedly, in my social skills, in the past 3 years, while being home and raising children. I think I have even regressed from where I was in my 20's socially. It's weird. But I know some of the reasons - a bad marriage, and not being in the workforce in the past 2 years. You can lose your people skills. Plus, it is way, way worse for me when talking to someone I am attracted to. I need more practice, and I think I will need to join some social groups or support groups or just get out more via working, to tackle some of this within myself. Hang in there! You're not alone in this problem of getting nervous when talking to somone you are attracted to. Oh and by the way, I have recently started taking the anti-depressant 'Celexa' in the past few months, and I swear to you, it is pretty much a miracle for me in helping with alot of this anxiety and nervousness, and the 'bummed out' feelings one feels after an embarassing conversation. It's super duper stuff, I do love this anti-depressant. It is very helpful to me, not a cure all, but very, very helpful as a tool to help with the brain chemistry part of this social anxiety problem. Cheers! Edited May 23, 2012 by Forever Learning
Forever Learning Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Age has little bearing. A person can be 30 but still more like 14 in mind and emotion. Just because someone is 30 doesn't automatically make them capable of doing things a "regular" 30 year old can do. One word answer: obsession Six word answer: It's your ONLY passion in life Four word answer: Sounds like you're regressing Longer answer: The problem as I see it from your posts is simple. As human beings we are continually either improving or regressing in life. We can regress in a myriad of ways. Either we really screw up (i.e. constantly make clear-cut poor decisions such as over drinking with the temptation to get in the car afterward) or the more subtle way of regressing: doing nothing with your life and being stuck in the same exact position you were a year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago. In other words, by standing still for so long, you're not improving. And if you're not improving, you're declining or regressing. It's a different ball game being "socially inadequate" at age 20 than it is age 25 and than it is at 30. I know you won't enjoy reading this, but that doesn't change the fact that it has to be reiterated: if you don't start seeking real life help (i.e. making friends as a positive first step toward healing, reaching out to professionals, etc.), then you're only going to get worse. How do I know this? I was in your shoes at one point in my life. I had no friends, I woke up everyday determined to get a girlfriend, but I had nothing to offer. Then I started to get nervous around girls, and it just got worse and worse. Eventually I reached out, developed a healthy social circle, found other passions in life, and I wake up these days having a sense of real purpose in life and finding myself at peace. I'm even dating this cute girl right now, and she was introduced to me by my good guy buddy, Roger. Having friends DOES matter and it does help. Without Roger, I never would have met Beth. More importantly, without reaching out and stepping out of my comfort zone to actually make some friends, I became a healthier more well-rounded person. Your problems seem to be isolation, lack of action and a defeated attitude before you can even give yourself a chance. I have bad news, if left unchecked, you're going to be the same way at 32, 34, etc. I was lucky enough to have addressed my issues of isolation and "paralysis by analysis" not too late in my life, and so too can you. Like I said, the older you get, the more serious your unaddressed issues will become. It's "acceptable" at 16. Not uncommon at 20. Even passable still at 24. But then suddenly around 25 it becomes a legitimate issue. At 30 it only magnifies and it will only get worse for you. Please don't let 2012 pass you by by standing still in the same exact spot as you did in 2011, 2008, and so forth. Change bit by bit starting today, or remain standing still and watch as you regress with Father Time. It's your choice. So far you've been picking the latter, and that's why your problems are only getting worse with time. Your "skills" remain the same (or lack thereof), but the years of frustration and "lack of success" are building up. And you're getting older which makes it even all the more harder to connect with girls in their early 20's. Before you say "this is all off-topic," I'm merely answering your question. I know you probably won't like this answer, but trust me coz I've been there... this is reality. Now, what are you going to CHOOSE to do about it? Are you going to plot out some small steps to take, or will you just remain standing still? If you choose to remain standing still, we'll see you in the same exact spot this time next year, except you'll be 31. And then the year after that, except you'll be 32. Meanwhile, the gap between you and girls in their early 20s will only widen, making it even more impossible for you to even befriend them. The longer you wait/deny the real issues at hand, the worse it will be for you. I know. I've been there. I thought this was an OUTSTANDING post!! And, it is ABSOLUTELY very relevant to my situation. I have undoubtedly regressed in my social skills from where I was in my 20's (I am now early 40's). Thank you for this very wonderful insight, I appreciate it. It gives me ALOT to think about and reminds me of some things I need to work on in my own life. Thank you so much, Meeks7 !! Very well done!! I appreciate it. 2
Meeks7 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I thought this was an OUTSTANDING post!! And, it is ABSOLUTELY very relevant to my situation. I have undoubtedly regressed in my social skills from where I was in my 20's (I am now early 40's). Thank you for this very wonderful insight, I appreciate it. It gives me ALOT to think about and reminds me of some things I need to work on in my own life. Thank you so much, Meeks7 !! Very well done!! I appreciate it. You're very welcome. Glad it helped SOMEBODY, lol. People DO regress in life if they don't improve. After so many years, your confidence wanes and if you're in the same position as you were X-years ago, then you're not growing. And if you're not growing, odds are you're regressing. This is not a knock on anyone, but one must be vigilant about matters as to not regress. The worst = regressing and denying it. 1
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