UNLer2007 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 So here's the rundown. I work in an office setting that is VERY casual (a lot of us get together outside of work during weekends), and there is this one girl I work with, and we've become very good friends. Her and I get along very well, to the point where a couple days out of the week, we both take our laptops and grab a conference room to do our work. A couple months ago, she had brought up that during a night we were all hanging out at the office, we had both disappeared (not together) and was asked by a friend of ours if anything happened. The question kind of caught me off guard, and I really didn't do anything but laugh it off. Anyways, this past Friday, I asked her if she wanted to go grab lunch, and she said yes, so her and I went out for lunch, had a great time. We ended up going out with the rest of our work friends that night to a bar, and she even mentioned how her and I "went on a date for lunch." However, she said it so nonchalantly, I couldn't tell if she was trying to send me a signal. Anyways, I really really like her, and I want to see if she shares those feelings. Anyone have any advice on how to do it? I am thinking of seeing if she wants to go see a movie tomorrow night, and if she says yes, then I feel I have to make some kind of move, otherwise it might come across as me wanting to be a really good friend. What should I say to her?
Ladybug2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I'm surprised you two haven't mentioned other personal things yet. When you hang out for lunch do you talk shop? When you ask her to the movies, go to a romantic one. Then the relationship conversation should come up. Keep it light. This way you'll find out if she's interested or not,what her preferences are...straight or gay...that might be an issue. If the movie doesn't work. Come out with, you're such a great person, I'm surprised no one has snatched you up yet. Always begin with a compliment. Good luck!
Author UNLer2007 Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 I'm surprised you two haven't mentioned other personal things yet. When you hang out for lunch do you talk shop? When you ask her to the movies, go to a romantic one. Then the relationship conversation should come up. Keep it light. This way you'll find out if she's interested or not,what her preferences are...straight or gay...that might be an issue. If the movie doesn't work. Come out with, you're such a great person, I'm surprised no one has snatched you up yet. Always begin with a compliment. Good luck! When we went to lunch, we barely talked about work. We had very nice conversations about all the things we'd love to do if we won the lottery, TV shows we think we should watch, places we want to check out in the city. At work she always sends me trailers to movies she wants to see, and so tomorrow I am going to see if she wants to go check one out. Thing is, how do I "lightly" bring up that I have feelings for her, or that I'm interested in her as more than friends. Could it be simply, "Hey, I have a question for you. Now despite the fact that we work together, how would you feel about the possibility of you and I starting to date?"
Sid6.7 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 You must not like your job. In this economy not a wise move.
NateC Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 When we went to lunch, we barely talked about work. We had very nice conversations about all the things we'd love to do if we won the lottery, TV shows we think we should watch, places we want to check out in the city. At work she always sends me trailers to movies she wants to see, and so tomorrow I am going to see if she wants to go check one out. Thing is, how do I "lightly" bring up that I have feelings for her, or that I'm interested in her as more than friends. Could it be simply, "Hey, I have a question for you. Now despite the fact that we work together, how would you feel about the possibility of you and I starting to date?" That's too direct. Avoid the "d" word unless it comes up on her end. Judge for yourself how she feels during the movie. Body language can say far more than verbal language can in a lot of ways.
Author UNLer2007 Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 You must not like your job. In this economy not a wise move. On the contrary, I really do like my job. However, there are a couple things I take into account. I work in a creative field, and it's expected that people in my position move around a lot in their careers (staying at a place anywhere from two to six years and the moving on). Secondly, her and I don't really ever work "together." We have different job titles, work on completely separate clients, and neither one of us could ever become the others Superior.
Author UNLer2007 Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 That's too direct. Avoid the "d" word unless it comes up on her end. Judge for yourself how she feels during the movie. Body language can say far more than verbal language can in a lot of ways. I get what you say about body language, but then again I don't. You're not talking about "holding hands" or anything like during the movie, correct? We've been to the movies before (when she won free tickets), and we've gone out to bars, where we are usually always sitting by each other. Again, is there a way (a signal, a sign, something I say) that let's her know I'd like to be more than just friends?
Sid6.7 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Secondly, her and I don't really ever work "together." We have different job titles, work on completely separate clients, and neither one of us could ever become the others Superior. That doesn't stop a sexual harassment claim if things turned sour.
NateC Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I get what you say about body language, but then again I don't. You're not talking about "holding hands" or anything like during the movie, correct? We've been to the movies before (when she won free tickets), and we've gone out to bars, where we are usually always sitting by each other. Again, is there a way (a signal, a sign, something I say) that let's her know I'd like to be more than just friends? Well, yes and no. It's more of seeing if she's comfortable with you being in her personal space (or she's trying to be in yours). This could potentially be too much, but putting your arm on the back of her chair might be enough of a signal...it all depends though. Maybe someone more experienced might be able to tell you
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