I just broke up and wanted advice... im hurting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhh

[hack frost]

I know all stories are different so here's mine...

 

 

I've been going out with this girl for 11 months, we met and hit it off immediately last august. She goes to college (shes 21 and Im 26) about four hrs away from me... we chilled the whole rest of the summer and decided to stay together and see what happens, over the course of her college year I went and saw her all the time, we began to fall in love, we really made each other work hard and became close friends and lovers. This was the first serious relationship I ever had, and I was loving it...

she came home for summer vacation about a month ago and she really was in the dumps, couldnt find a job, she wanted to party and Im really busy!! she said from day 1 she has a hard time committing to anyone, but was working through her **** because she really loved me, we were really dedicated to our relationship working and things the past two weeks were getting better. we started to get into a groove again, and things were good, then one day last week we had lunch and she told me she needed space and wanted to break up, out of nowhere!!! I was totally surprised, she was really upset and so was I... we talked all night, we held each other in our arms and woke up and started crying, she was confused... we decided to not talk for a while so we could figure out what was going on.. she ended up calling me that night and we both got upset again. we keep talking every couple of days, she said she wants to be alone and I want to be with her, what do I do !!!!

[StartingAgain]

You are 26; she is 21. That's a five year age difference; if your ages were 36 and 30, that would be perfect. But not at you age. You are busy. You are a grown man and you have adult responsibilities to attend to. She's still a college girl, who is home for the summer and wants to party hardy. No doubt you like to party on occasion too, but probably not as much as you did at 21. We grow up alot between 21 and 25. We begin to think differently. She's mistaking your adult approach to the relationsip as your not wanting to be with her. This is because she hasn't started to think like you now think. Love is all about great times, sex and somewhat childish notions. She's not ready for the kind of relationsip you are now ready to have. This doesn't mean that there's something wrong with her. It's just that you've outgrown her. She's is almost recognizing this, but not the way she should.

 

Back off a bit and see where things go. Of course you are hurting. This is your first love and your first hurt. You will survive.