ohmygoshistalk Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Im only asking because I have always given them a chance, the thing is I think I am too but I always try to rise from it. I can't seem to say the right things around girls (im female) and I end up making them think I'm weird or not fun. I just dont find the stuff they talk about interesting or funny. I do have girl friends but not a big group of 10, just a small group of 5. lol. That said I have dated socially inept men before, it has sort of effed me up a lil bit.. Guy A would start flirting with me, calls me my love sometimes and next day he'd tell me all about a girl he met on a bar who he talked to all night..and he said he wanted to get with her but she slept w/ his friend instead. WTF? Before that he also claimed that he went to another state to have a meetup with his hobby group and there was a girl there that flirted with him (always sat beside him). His friends told him "why didnt you sleep or kiss her? she was flirting with you." Seriously how can anyone not notice this? Also as another poster said, it is in poor form to talk about another girl while youre talking to a girl who you know likes you. Hes always done this .. but the fact hes proven to me that hes a good friend is the reason why I want to be his friend. I would sleep w/ him but I think now..he will be..a friend. I read this in another forum:(about socially inept people) Backstory: I'm dating a beautiful foreign-born lady (this will become relevant later...). She's very fit and very cute, and so honest and nice. I'm very very lucky. Before we met, she went out a few times with a guy who turned out to be a complete creep. I know this because this guy won't let go. He's still calling her and sending her weird e-mails. He seemed nice at first. Alarm bells started ringing for her when the two of them were out walking and he pointed at another woman and said: "You see that thing? That's what I'd be dating if my standards weren't so high." OMG! Who says that?! I forget all his other comments which she told me about, because they were so shocking. They were more of the same: he objectified women, he was just looking for a trophy... someone to fill a void in his life, without knowing what makes a relationship work, or how to reciprocate, or even how to interact with other people on a most basic level. He was in his 30s... so not a kid. 'How can he not know these things' - was her question. I thought about this forum when she said that.
ThaWholigan Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Im only asking because I have always given them a chance, the thing is I think I am too but I always try to rise from it. I can't seem to say the right things around girls (im female) and I end up making them think I'm weird or not fun. I just dont find the stuff they talk about interesting or funny. I do have girl friends but not a big group of 10, just a small group of 5. lol. That said I have dated socially inept men before, it has sort of effed me up a lil bit.. Guy A would start flirting with me, calls me my love sometimes and next day he'd tell me all about a girl he met on a bar who he talked to all night..and he said he wanted to get with her but she slept w/ his friend instead. WTF? Before that he also claimed that he went to another state to have a meetup with his hobby group and there was a girl there that flirted with him (always sat beside him). His friends told him "why didnt you sleep or kiss her? she was flirting with you." Seriously how can anyone not notice this? Also as another poster said, it is in poor form to talk about another girl while youre talking to a girl who you know likes you. Hes always done this .. but the fact hes proven to me that hes a good friend is the reason why I want to be his friend. I would sleep w/ him but I think now..he will be..a friend. I read this in another forum:(about socially inept people) Backstory: I'm dating a beautiful foreign-born lady (this will become relevant later...). She's very fit and very cute, and so honest and nice. I'm very very lucky. Before we met, she went out a few times with a guy who turned out to be a complete creep. I know this because this guy won't let go. He's still calling her and sending her weird e-mails. He seemed nice at first. Alarm bells started ringing for her when the two of them were out walking and he pointed at another woman and said: "You see that thing? That's what I'd be dating if my standards weren't so high." OMG! Who says that?! I forget all his other comments which she told me about, because they were so shocking. They were more of the same: he objectified women, he was just looking for a trophy... someone to fill a void in his life, without knowing what makes a relationship work, or how to reciprocate, or even how to interact with other people on a most basic level. He was in his 30s... so not a kid. 'How can he not know these things' - was her question. I thought about this forum when she said that. Been a while since I've been on wrongplanet. Socially inept people are capable of being just as jerky as people who are socially adept. Giving them a chance is difficult simply because they aren't always the most relatable as a result of not being socially calibrated enough. I can honestly say I have overcome much of my autistic afflictions with regards to my social life simply through willpower and being forced to be more socially adept due to a sometimes unsympathetic environment. Some people have too much of a cocoon or bubble that they rarely venture out of, especially in the rise of computers. I myself know this very well. Trial and error becomes the unknown, and fear is built up around it. All those anxieties make it difficult to be in a natural rhythm and people can't really open up around that. 1
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