B/Fs ex coming back into picture

[Dewymoon]

hi I am new and dont have a clue on where to go for advice. I am recently divorced (since July of last year) and I met a wonderful guy 10 months ago. He too had just a break up at the same time frame. She left him for another man and got married. We (me and my bf) have since moved into together and bought rings for a 2005 wedding date. Everything in our relationship is really good or so I thought till last night. We had a wonderful evening out and had made it home, tucked in bed for the work day ahead. His phone rings and it is his ex. She is drunk and must have had a fight with her husband. She wanted my B/f to drive to her moms and visit her. I was not mad till he sat on the phone with her for 45 minutes. ( at this time it was 1 in the morning ) He told her it was late and he needed to sleep. and got off the phone . Well 5 minutes went by and she proceeds to keeping calling. After the fourth time I picked up the phone and politely told her to stop calling . She demanded that she got to talk to my B/f ... I said no and hung up. She called back and we ended up getting into a yelling match. And the thing that has me bugged is he did not defend me or tell her himself to STOP. I feel like a second place runner up and a race I didnt even now I was in. This is the first time in 10 months she has called him. I feel like she has figured out she made a mistake and is wanting another chance. The fear of that comes from the fact that my B/F has went back to her 3 times in the past. I am so upset and scared of losing the man I have grown to love after I thought I was no longer able thanks for hearing Dewy

[StartingAgain]

STAY THE HELL OUT OF THIS!!!!!!! let you b/f handle this completely. You should have no conversation with his ex whatsoever and never, ever, ever have a yelling match with her. All you can do is make matters worse. It is his place, not yours, to deal with his ex. You really weren't mad with her, you were mad with him for talking to his ex for 45 minutes. Of couse, you need to stop and think about htis just a bit. He was married to her, they've only been separated a year. If he's a decent man, he will at least want to help the woman he once pledged his life to to calm down when she calls in the middle of the night drunk and upset. She shouldn't have done this, but she did, and he tried to deal with it. You say he didn't defend you or tell her to stop. Did it occur to you that he's a bit wiser than you and knows that it boots nothing to argue with someone who is drunk? Maybe he feels that you are above needing defending to his ex-wife?

 

Leave this alone. Let him handle it. If he can't do it, then you have a problem. But for now this is HIS problem, not yours.

[Dewymoon]

Thanks Starting Over ..... It is good to get a fresh look from a man eyes. I would have never even thought of it that way. And you are right I do believe that he thinks i am above swappinmg insults with his ex . He was never married to her and she was very young when they got together (he is 39 and she is 26. I bet your right when you say that he believes I am above swapping insults with his drunk Ex ... Because of your wisdom on this I went to him and told him I was sorry for not trusting his judgement

[pinklove]

You have no reason to feel threatned, I mean if it was a big deal, he would be with her instead of you. I mean she was drunk, and she probably doesn't even remember the conversation now. So, don't worry about it, I'm pretty sure your man loves you and you love him, so if she does want him back, "sorry" it's her loss, but I don't think she does, she probably was upset about the argument with her husband and called the first person in mind to help her out, and if your man has a good heart, I mean he wouldn't have hung up in her face or anything, that's why he stayed on the phone with her 45 minutes to hear her out. U don't have to worry, it seems as though his heart is in the right place.

 

God bless u and hang in there. Ur man loves u.