gtiboy Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I've been dating this girl for just over a month now, seen each other 4 times. Things have been going well, she tells me shes glad I want to see her and be with her. On the forth date I asked the girl what she thinks of us, she says "im not going to tell you" I ask why? and she says, because im not going to tell you. She does go onto say she's still seeing me so thats a good thing. I think this is abit strange, if someone is happy to keep dating you and glad you wanna be with them, then why the blunt answer when asking her what she thinks about us? What do you guys make of it?
Joaquin Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 She is still dating you so you have something going on that she likes. My guess would be that her answer to your (quite silly) question was just to avoid her laying her feelings on the table and not wanting to come on too strong or too weak. I mean what is the answer you wanted? She probably didn't know so played it careful.
Author gtiboy Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 Well just to generally know what she's thinking. So her response is not generally regarded as a bad thing?
Joaquin Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 You'll get all the answers you need by paying more attention to her actions. She is still meeting up with. Is she smiling when she's with you? Does she give you a 'I like you' vibe? At some stage you might discuss being exclusive if that's what you both want.
truth_seeker Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 You're still in the beginning stages. She's still feeling you out. She could be dating other guys, too. Relax. At least try to. Don't pressure her. Just go with the flow and don't get too attached to her yet. After 10 dates, a couple of months of dating, then you can bring this question up. 1
veggirl Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I don't know if she's trying (and failing) to be coy and flirty, or if she is trying to tell you "it's nothing serious" and that she is seeing other people too and I guess you're lucky to still be in the running? Did you tell her how you feel about her? I'd give it another couple dates, I guess, and then ask for whatever it is I want (exclusivity? is that what you're after?)...if I wasn't totally turned off by her response (which I might be).
Fondue Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I don't know if she's trying (and failing) to be coy and flirty, or if she is trying to tell you "it's nothing serious" and that she is seeing other people too and I guess you're lucky to still be in the running? Did you tell her how you feel about her? I'd give it another couple dates, I guess, and then ask for whatever it is I want (exclusivity? is that what you're after?)...if I wasn't totally turned off by her response (which I might be). Bolded is exactly how I would interpret her statement. I would avoid having any feelings for her. I would also probably start looking to date other women, too...
truth_seeker Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I don't know if she's trying (and failing) to be coy and flirty, or if she is trying to tell you "it's nothing serious" and that she is seeing other people too and I guess you're lucky to still be in the running? I think it's the former not the latter for the most part. I'm leaning towards she wants to be in control and have you guessing.
Author gtiboy Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) Yeah I got the feeling she was being coy aswell, there's no way for me to know if she's seeing someone else. She always seems to be available when I want to meet her. I did meet her online, and i've seen her log online everyday, so she still obviously talking to other guys. Could this be related? Also forgot to mention she said she was like her mate, she can quite happily be single and not be with anyone. She'll only be in a relationship if she really likes someone. Edited May 21, 2012 by gtiboy
ivalm Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Yeah I got the feeling she was being coy aswell, there's no way for me to know if she's seeing someone else. She always seems to be available when I want to meet her. I did meet her online, and i've seen her log online everyday, so she still obviously talking to other guys. Could this be related? Also forgot to mention she said she was like her mate, she can quite happily be single and not be with anyone. She'll only be in a relationship if she really likes someone. It would start bothering me a bit if she was logging in every day after a month.. on the other hand you only had 4 dates... At some point ask if you are exclusive (doesn't mean bf/gf status, just exclusivity).. I certainly would ask for that, if after all this time she still isn't sure about you, and you want an LTR, then I would move on. Also, remember, she only has power if you give it to her, I suggest you don't.
bamp78 Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Why would you ever ask a woman what she thinks of us especially after 4 dates? Your role here is to lead her to where you want her to be so if that's being exclusive than guide her there. If you noticed her logging onto a dating site daily don't you think she notices you doing the same? Fondue is right...start dating other girls and shove your "feelings" aside until she talks about being exclusive. She didn't give you an answer cause she didn't have one to give. Asking a girl what she thinks of "us" is needy behavior and is unattractive to anyone regardless of gender. Take this girl on a few more dates, show her a good time, don't talk about "us" anymore, wait till she brings it up (also stop logging onto your dating profile), and generally live your life like she is a positive addition to it and you will probably get what you want with her. Good luck...
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