darkmoon Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) he screws his lodger, won't take out an injuction against his violent ex to protect me when his mischivous friend gave her my address, the ex has threatened male violence so i am scared, so why shouldn't i just move on? he thinks i should not mind these two factors, the lodger and the violent ex: he would have to officially take my side against her which he does not do as a result, i will be searching for a new man, but part of the search will be in our shared neighbourhood, so i then think that he will want me as he usually expects to egged on by his friend to give me the come-on any thoughts? my stand is to not meet with him unless the 2 factors are adressed - i am scared otherwise Edited May 19, 2012 by darkmoon
d'Arthez Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) Very reasonable from you. Not really sure what is going on with the lodger, but needless to say, that does not speak well of his character. You are using strong language, which suggests to me, you are clearly not impressed by his behaviour towards this lodger. And if there is a moral incompatibility like that, that does not bode well for the future. Any man or woman who downplays physical threats made by his / her friends to your well-being and refuses to actively do something about it, is not worth your time. There are better people out there. Edited May 19, 2012 by d'Arthez 1
Author darkmoon Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 i know he's douchy, i just needed to vent - coventors welcome here
CopingGal Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 he screws his lodger, won't take out an injuction against his violent ex to protect me when his mischivous friend gave her my address, the ex has threatened male violence so i am scared, so why shouldn't i just move on? he thinks i should not mind these two factors, the lodger and the violent ex: he would have to officially take my side against her which he does not do as a result, i will be searching for a new man, but part of the search will be in our shared neighbourhood, so i then think that he will want me as he usually expects to egged on by his friend to give me the come-on any thoughts? my stand is to not meet with him unless the 2 factors are adressed - i am scared otherwise My thoughts are stay away from this man regardless if he addresses these things or not. Also, why are you searching for a new man? If you leave your man, you should be concentrating on healing, not getting a new man. Give yourself some time to put this ugly situation behind you. Give yourself time to heal.
threebyfate Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Guy sounds like an all around douche which should automatically make him your ex. But why would he be responsible for legal action if his ex is violent towards you? Consider getting your own restraining order since she might not stop post break up.
chelsea2011 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Leave no room for doubt that the authorities will be asked to intervene if she so much as comes close to you. Do not tolerate threats under any circumstances what so ever. That is dangerous! Put the spot light on the situation so there is no room for cover and file a report with the police. This way if she tries to do anything to you, the police can be called to intervene and protect you.
chelsea2011 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 One more thought came to mind. He's probably allowing her funnel her anger at you so "he" doesn't have to deal with it. In other words, he doesn't want to be the target. Nice guy.
Author darkmoon Posted May 20, 2012 Author Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) @threebyfate + chelsea + copingal i do not know the exe's surname or address, i hardly know her, i am scared every, here for support, cheers, thanks for coming by to say stuff yes i keep out of the lodger's way, will move on away from this melodrama, just feel scared, but i know a raw man2woman deal when i see one, and woman2man as well for that matter stay home to heal, yes Edited May 20, 2012 by darkmoon
CopingGal Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Hi. I am so, so sorry that you have to deal with this mess. Yes, stay away. This person does not sound worth the trouble. Go off and live your own life without this person. If things get worse, consider calling a domestic violence hotline to get some advice.
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