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Basically, I can't multi-date.


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  • Author
Posted
That's because he is already having sex with lots of other girls so it was no biggie to add you back to the list at a later time

 

Well, good luck to him, then! :laugh:

Posted
This is the second time I've found myself in this position.

 

I've just turned down the possibility of a date with a perfectly lovely guy because I have already met someone I like.

 

The guy I like isn't committed yet and I am not being 'sensible' by doing this, but I simply cannot go meet Guy B and spend my time (and his) comparing him to Guy A.

 

This is, basically, my heart totally overriding my head plus the desire not to waste Guy B's time. I feel really stupid whilst happy about my decision! It's an odd place to be.

 

I am completely aware that by this evening, even, I could be with neither option available but I think 'F*ck it. I'll just start over again, then.'

 

Am I mad? :confused:

Multidating was never a logical option. The desire to go with such a course comes purely out of greed and arrogance.

Posted

^Gimme a damn break. Some people just dont like to put all of their eggs into a basket that may have its bottom fall out.

 

ITT: haters

Posted
^Gimme a damn break. Some people just dont like to put all of their eggs into a basket that may have its bottom fall out.

 

ITT: haters

Hedging your bets is a sure way to not find love but if you aren't looking for that and just a fun time then it's fine. Expecting more than a fun time, if that is your idea of fun, is when you get into some dangerous thinking whose only fruit it will bear is your misery.

Posted

^Who says theres only one way to find love? Stop being so close minded.

Posted
^Who says theres only one way to find love? Stop being so close minded.

All or nothing is the only way otherwise what you have is a forgery you need to constantly convince yourself is the real mccoy.

Posted

^All I heard was "blah blah blah close minded bullsh!!te blah blah blah"

 

Theres not one way to find love. Theres more than one way to accomplish a lot of things. End of story. But based on your posts on this forum, Im convinced you are a bitter troll. Enjoy talking to yourself.

Posted
^All I heard was "blah blah blah close minded bullsh!!te blah blah blah"
Not surprised you can't see the hypocrisy in your attitude.

 

Theres more than one way to accomplish a lot of things.
Except love.

 

 

But based on your posts on this forum, Im convinced you are a bitter troll.

A troll can't be bitter. A troll can only prey on bitterness which you are rife with. Probably since I hit a nerve. Your method has not lead you to what you seek hence you are here lashing out at anyone instead of happy. You should get control over your emotions or a troll will take advantage of them which you are way too concerned with. A troll only has the power and control you give her over yourself.

Posted
Well, good luck to him, then! :laugh:

 

The reason why I know it's the truth is because if he was situated like me and dating NO ONE ELSE he would have gotten nasty and would not have taken your comment that well.

 

So either he

 

1. Didn't really like you and was into someone else like you

 

 

OR

 

2. Not looking for anything serious and have lots of sex buddies

Posted
^Gimme a damn break. Some people just dont like to put all of their eggs into a basket that may have its bottom fall out.

 

ITT: haters

 

And there it is. I was wondering how long it would take for this to happen.

 

I dont have any particular aversion to people that mulitdate personally. My main beef is when they are not honest about it to the people they date.

 

I think all OLD sites should put that in their questionaire. "Do you mulidate?" Yes or No and let those of us that dont multidate filter out the ones that do.

 

Problem solved and nobody has to call another person a hater because they dissagree with dating styles or lack of style. Then those of us that dont multidate can stay clear of your busy schedule shuffling LOL.

  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

As promised update:

 

So, Guy A was fun but a bit disappointing.

 

Time to find out if PhillyDude was on the money re. Guy B...

 

:bunny:

Posted

I'd give guy B a shot, and ignore other people's cynical comments. After all, you have met B and found him to be a "lovely" person. I'd take it from there and see where it goes. I think you're doing things a good way, even if there's no one "right" way (and I'm conflicted over the MD issue myself).

  • Author
Posted
I'd give guy B a shot, and ignore other people's cynical comments. After all, you have met B and found him to be a "lovely" person. I'd take it from there and see where it goes. I think you're doing things a good way, even if there's no one "right" way (and I'm conflicted over the MD issue myself).

 

I sent him a text yesterday morning but no response as yet... Not looking great!

 

I haven't met him, yet. I chose not to because it felt unfair to do that whilst I had chemistry going with Guy A.

 

I'll give him a day or two to reply, then pop my profile back up.

Posted

Not a multi-dater either. Just feels kind of shoddy to me ... focus on one relationship at a time .. if that doesn't work out, you can date someone new.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Now, I know what I said and how I felt 'n' all BUT - this pair are so flip-floppy, I feel virtually forced into dating them both! :o

 

As previously stated, Guy #1 was disappointing. I tell Guy 1# I am pursuing my other options. Contacted Guy #2. Guy #1 comes back new and improved. A week later, Guy #2 makes some half-hearted acknowledgement of me. Resume with Guy #1 for zhits n giggles - he 'can't offer a relationship at the moment'. (I figure 'meh' because, admittedly, the giggles are awesome'!) Then Guy #2 appears again, would I like to go on a date? (He's all eloquent and keen again.) N.B.: I will inform Guy #2 of what's happening. *Further issue: Guy #2 obviously wants children (from his profile - didn't notice that at first). I'm at the top of his desired age-range (26-40)! That window is almost closed for me, as far as I'm aware.*

 

I know what the above sounds like but - honestly - I'm beginning not to care! I joined the dating site with no expectations and I've enjoyed it. As long as I'm completely honest with everyone, I've only got myself to blame/worry about, right? :rolleyes:

Posted
Aw, bless, Anne!

 

Do you think it's because I'm British?! :o

 

No, it is because you are an young female who is still positive and hopeful about everything including men and love.

  • Author
Posted
No, it is because you are an young female who is still positive and hopeful about everything including men and love.

 

Really? At 40? That's a sweet thought! :)

Posted
Really? At 40? That's a sweet thought! :)

 

Congrats on being this way at 40!

I guess age is just a number but it is not an indicator of experience with men (including the number of husbands).

Posted

'Multi-dating" is a concept that originated in the San Francisco gay subculture. It may work well for gays, who are usually not interested in long-term relationships, but it's not a very good strategy for most straight people.

Posted

I "multi-dated" for a stretch before I met my wife. I was never really promiscuous, so allocating my romantic/sexual attention to so many women over short periods of time was very alien for me, if not in certain ways gratifying.

 

It got old and it just wasn't my style.

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