reptilelover88 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Hey everyone, Just a bit of a rant... I have a fwb that I've actually known (and enjoyed 'benefits' with) for nearly 3 years - when we weren't dating other people, anyway. I haven't seen him for a while though as I had a boyfriend for most of last year. Anyway, he was going to be in my town tonight and I'd known that for a few weeks. I texted him 3 days ago asking for more details, e.g. when and where we'd meet. No response. Then at 10pm tonight (!) I received this: Are you about? By this point I was enjoying a night in alone as I've been partying a lot recently. I was annoyed and replied: Sorry - didn't hear from you so I made other plans. Then over the next hour I received (without response from me): What?? I'm in [X hotel]? Are you serious? Yes, I was totally serious but haven't replied! I'm so annoyed that he would treat me so casually even though he's just a fwb. I still feel bad though... I guess that's the part of me that over-pleases people sometimes
FitChick Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 That's how you treat FWBs. You treat girlfriends with respect and courtesy.
Yookie Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 You're a booty call but now you're mad because he treated you like a booty call? I guess I can understand why you'd want some notice but he's probably just using you as a back up when he can't get busy elsewhere.
Author reptilelover88 Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) You're a booty call but now you're mad because he treated you like a booty call? I guess I can understand why you'd want some notice but he's probably just using you as a back up when he can't get busy elsewhere. I don't disagree that he treated me like a FWB. But we're still 'friends' and have known each other for years. If he treats me that badly, there's no reason I have to agree to meet him at all! Therefore he still has an incentive to treat me a little bit nicer. And by the way, boyfriends (and even a former fiance) have treated me much worse - therefore I'm not too fussed about the FWB thing, but he pushed me too far this time. Edited May 19, 2012 by reptilelover88 more info
Sid6.7 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I don't disagree that he treated me like a FWB. But we're still 'friends' and have known each other for years. If he treats me that badly, there's no reason I have to agree to meet him at all! Therefore he still has an incentive to treat me a little bit nicer. And by the way, boyfriends (and even a former fiance) have treated me much worse - therefore I'm not too fussed about the FWB thing, but he pushed me too far this time. Look, quite simply. He has no obligation to you. Don't like it? Get another FWB, you should have more than one anyway. 1
Million.to.1 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I sympathise with you OP. you did the right thing with your response and not responding to the other txts sent later. Just because its a FWB situation, it doesn't give him the right to treat you anyway you aren't happy about. Ignoring you for 3 days till nothing better came up is lame, but you have to accept that s how he see's you and your arrangement. No point in worrying about it. Just don't play into it. No need to explain to him. Create the type of relationship you want. If you are not happy with being a last minute booty call, then don't. If you are happy to have a respectful FWB arrangement where you make plans and enjoy each others company, then that's great, do that. If he asks you about it, just say you would rather make solid plans in future if he wants to meet up. 1
DontWorryBHappy Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I really agree with Million.to.1's post. Just because someone is a fwb, that doesn't mean there is a common standard about how you should expect to be treated. In committed relationships we all have varying ideas about how we would like to be treated, and I believe we can also have varying expectations of fwb relationships. Some people may be cool with the last minute "i'm in the hotel" whereas others will make plans in advance and expect that in return. If you're willing to sleep with someone, you're adult enough to agree on the standards of any relationship. I *don't* agree that the OP is at fault for being annoyed with the guy's last minute texts. Yeah, it's a fwb, but having a fwb doesn't mean all your standards go out the window.. so I guess he just found out her standards for this fwb relationship. 1
mickleb Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 A complaining orafice. Whats next? This is just about as rude as it gets on here without trolling but I've got to admit: that's a damned funny expression! I guess as M.t.1 said, it's about accepting how it is. You thought you were his FWB but, it seems, you are his WB. We all need an F sometimes but at others, it really isn't worth it. Contact someone else instead.
firehawk_1 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 FWB is a stupid thing in the first place. its a quickie. a quick sex thing. deal with this demeaning thing. this is how you will get treated. its not a relationship...its not marriage. its sex when its convenient for you. so deal with it.
make me believe Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Just because you're his FWB doesn't mean you're at his beck and call, so I think you did the right thing in making other plans and not running to meet him as soon as he bothered to text you. At the same time, I don't really see anything wrong with what he did since that's generally how an FWB situation works. He wants to get laid, he gets in contact to see if you're available, and vice versa.
Pierre Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Why do women become FWB and then want to be treated like a GF?
Recommended Posts