Nubianangel Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 Anyway, Midniteangel, having had a few love relationships of my own, I can say with some degree of authority that if the sex is good its going to be MUCH MUCH harder to say goodbye. So, is it? is it hot? wild? and soul quenchingly satisfying? If the answer is YES, then you are gonna have quite a hard time saying goodbye to mister married. I agree! That's why I'm climbing the walls pining for my former lover. I take it one day at a time but I work with this man and to pass him in the office without wrapping my arms and legs around him is HARD!!! It can be done though. "It was the adrenalin rush of messing with people's lives." Well, at least she was honest. So it could be that the infatuation is only because this kind of thing is exciting, new, and that you're getting a rush from it. I can definitely say this is what it felt like in the beginning. The rush, the novelty of it, the feeling that I was doing something forbidden and naughty was what kept me going but then real emotions set in and I felt there was no turning back. MidNite-You have what a lot of OW wish for and thats the opportunity to call this man your very own. What are you afraid of?
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 1, 2004 Author Posted July 1, 2004 Nubianangel, Thank you so much for your insight. Originally posted by Nubianangel MidNite-You have what a lot of OW wish for and thats the opportunity to call this man your very own. What are you afraid of? I am afraid of being hurt. I already love this man deeper than anything I have ever felt. I have read all these post and it has me wondering. What if he goes back to his wife. I think that if maybe I can just walk away now I can save myself a lot of hurt. I am afraid of him doing the same thing to me. But on the same hand should he be afraid that I would do this to him. Because I never meant to do it to my husband. But my relationship w/my H was over it's just that we still lived together. And there are no hard feelings there. It's just like we both said we were just roommates for the last year. He is happy I found someone to make me smile. Does this making any sense to you?? I am just so confused.
Nubianangel Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 It's making a lot of sense to me and I think it's wonderful that you and your soon-to-be ex are keeping things amicable, especially because there are kids involved. I'm going to parrot your ex because I think he has a point, you WILL always wonder what could have been. It's ok to be afraid but don't let fear hold you back. This might be the one for you, the one you were intended to be with. I will say this, I think you should take some time for you but keep in contact. Make no commitments just yet, maybe a few months to sort through your emotions. Coming out of a marriage into a serious relationship may be draining for you. Take time for you and the kids, of course. If after that your feelings for him are as strong as they are now--GO FOR IT!
sinner Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 I can say with some degree of authority that if the sex is good its going to be MUCH MUCH harder to say goodbye. So, is it? is it hot? wild? and soul quenchingly satisfying? If the answer is YES, then you are gonna have quite a hard time saying goodbye to mister married. Great observation, tk. And brutally true.
sunshineforblue Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][color=blue][/color] Hi all and thank you for this board. I to am involved with a married man. Please let me explain. It all started with friendship, between him, his wife and myself. He was the coach of my daughters basketball team. His daughter is best friends with mine. Anyway, it all started at basketball practice. I would go to practice and he would approach me flirting. Alot fo flirting. I in turn did the same, but knew that it wuoldn't go any futher since he is married. Well, then the emails started. We started talking about the relationship he has with his wife. How after 18 yrs of marriage that all she did was complain and that he did all the housework, which I do believe because I have been there and seen this way before this affair started. Well, I asked him, where is this going? Of course the words were all right. He said he was infatuated with me. Well, stupid me met him one evening and ended up having sex. I guess it was the emails and the talking in the emails that got into my head. At first is was that he wasn't happy and of course the talk of divorce came up. He did say that he had already thought of that before me. So then we decided to see more of each other, he started leaving early from home to go to work and come by my place. Most of the time we would meet in the car just to talk or just kiss. But the bonding keep getting stronger. As time has gone on and only 4 month....he has moved out, and moved in with his brother, he even filed for divorce. But here is the kicker....We started talking and then he found out that she started talking to a guy. Here i was stuck in between two friends. She was telling me about this!! I in turn told him that she wasn't happy either. He even came over one day when she called and listened in on a call, she told me she was miserable with him, but she couldn't do this to her family. So now what he did was go get phone records of her talking to her on the cell phone. He blew that in her face and then filed for divorce. In turn over the next month, she did the same and saw that we had talked way before she had with this guy. I'm not for sure what all happened with her and this other guy, but when I started getting really deep with him, I called her and told her I couldn't talk to her anymore cause he had called me and asked me if I knew about her with this guy and he yelled at me, and in turn I told her that I didnt want in the middle of this. Of course I was just trying to make it so I didn't talk to her again and only to him. Anyway, they have both filed for divorce, and now heres my bad news.....it backfired on me!! He has decided to try and see if he can work on this marriage. He has told me he can no longer talk to me, and that he has to make sure this is what is right. He said that at one time they loved each other. They have been together for 18 yrs. They met the other day and she asked him if he loved me and he told her yes. Yesterday I talked to him just to ask if he was going to tell her that we were intimate with each other and he said no. She asked him again if he had feelings for me and again he said yes. On one occasion ...the day he called her to try to talk things out with her.....he came to a ball practice that our daughters had, and sat by me. Of course she got mad and said, you sure want this to work out, you are sitting by your girlfriend.!! They were suppose to go out to dinner last night, but I have no idea what happend. I want to call, but I know for me to go on, I have to get over him. My only other problem is that all the people we were friends with will no long talk to me because of the betryal I have caused. I feel terrible and am so embarrassed about this situation. Can anyone help me with all of this? I"m so upset, not only will these women will no long talk to me, but any friends that I really have, will not ever talk to me for fear of me taking their husbands away. Any help will be appreciated.
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 1, 2004 Author Posted July 1, 2004 I am so sorry to hear that your friends won't even speak to you. But you know if they were your true friends they would be there for you right now. I wish I had some kind of advice for you but as you can see I am lost without a clue right now also. I wish you the best of luck. I wish I could help. If you need anyone to talk to I will be here for you. ~We are all Angels with just one wing. We can not be complete until we wrap our arms around one another~
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 1, 2004 Author Posted July 1, 2004 About a few months ago, I scheduled an appointment with a lady here in town that supposedly can see the future. A lot people I know have been to her. I am going to say that this woman does know some things. It was kind of creepy. She never asked me my name and no one knew I was going. So, I know that no one told her about me before hand. She knew how my son was sick in the hospital for almost 2 weeks after he was born. She knew about the funerals I had been to in the last couple of months. She told me about a pregnancy she seen in my future. And I told her that she was probably seeing my sister since she is pregnant. And she said no that she sees her, she is pregnant with a boy due 8-10 or 11. Which is my sis's baby's due date. When she called it a boy it shocked me because our whole family has been saying a girl. An ultrasound later confirmed it was a boy. She told me how my son often spoke to his grandfather (one of the funerals we had went to) That he had greater ability than her. That he wasn't suppose to make it but God knew I wouldn't survive without him. Which I don't know but I do know my son goes around the house trying to show us Papa. He will say "Look Mommy Papa you see" Well, anyway, she told me that I would get pregnant in October and have a baby boy next July. That the baby will have dark hair just like his daddy. And I sort of laughed it off. Because I don't want any more kids. But she went on to say that I was wasting away as a woman. That I was in a loveless marriage. She told me about the time I walked in on my H cheating on me. (something I had never told anyone) And that this man in my life, she said you know the one I am talking about and she said his name(MM). She said when you make love to him you will know it because you will feel it in your soul. She said this man is true with his intentions. You need to believe him. Because if he says something he means it. But anyway, I thought I would share this little story with you. I am trying to get another appointment with her. I got to know what she sees now. LOL
therresa kennedy Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 I wish I could offer some advise but a am feeling a bit down today. What I have'nt been perfectly honest about is that MY husband and I separated a little over eight months ago. Not because of a third party on either side, but because of his health problems, he is too irritable to live with our twelve year old daughter. They would constantly bicker, it was like brother and sister, as opposed to father and daughter. We are still married, still a couple, that seems to be really important to him, that we don't divorce. I still love him, the sex is still really good, always has been, but we just decided after twelve years together that we wanted to have seperate residences. unfortunately good sex mechanics is also NOT enough to sustain a bond, and it's starting to feel hollow. He was an athelete and has previous sports injuries that give him constant and chronic pain. Bet this is gonna come as a big surprise to some of you isn't it? I guess this was one of the reasons I came onto this website brewing with such hate and anger, my own frustrations over various things bubbling to the surface. I think I am over most or all of that, hope I am anyway. I quess I really can't offer much sound advise though since I have my own problems and longings to contend with. Today I am feeling rather blue, wanting things that seem impossible to attain, and struggling with a diminishing hope for things to ever be as I once thought they would be. I guess we all have our moments of feeling down and now is mine. It seems that no matter what, there is so much misery in this world, so much unfairness, so much ache. I wish you all the best in tring to work out your situations. Best Regards.
Mr Spock Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 No Therresa, it doesn't come as a suprise to me but I am sad for you and your husband. I knew in my heart that your anger and rage was stemming from something that was going on in your life right now that was related to your husband. You still have a lot of anger over the past-anyone can see that-and I for one am glad that you are admitting finally that things are not perfect. I suppose what you need to do now is decide what you want to happen. What your goals for your relationship are-see what can be salvaged and what can't . Obviously, your husband's handicapp/injuries are not going to just dissapear-have you evaluated how you and your daughter are handling things now as opposed to before? And it also may help for you three to go to family counselling together. Your daughter is old enough to understand and exhibit mature behaviour to someone with such disabilities. Anyways, I'm sorry you're feeling blue. I have been feeling like poop myself lately-less so than before but driving by my MM's house on the way to work and spotting family preparations to go camping makes me very sad, sad because he never wanted those things from me. Sad because he gets to go on with his happy life and I'm left in the lurch. I try not to dwell on it a lot anymore, and the whole stopping that thought pattern with kegels is helping-I'd just really like someone to kick him in the shins.
Love2BLoved Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 My advice is that you give yourself some time to heal. And when and if you're ready you can be friends, but take into consideration that sooner or later this "friendship" can lead you back to the same routine. It's always better when you just keep your distance and let go completely; plus, I don't think his wife would appreciate this frienship. Is he even willing to call you his so called friend to his wife? Look hon' my sister went through a similar situation and now that she lost ALL type of contact with this man she shines with hapiness even though she tought it would never be like that, in time she realized that keeping contact with him was only making her depressed and completely unhappy, but it took for her to loose all contact with him for her to realize this!
Mr Spock Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Yeah and I'm kind of the same way-I've lost all contact with him (although if I chose to be friendly with him he'd reciprocate, but why do that to myself) because I pretty much told him off after he started to email me again. Just asked him what the point of emailing me was. We drove back from out of town together (8 hours) so he did tell his wife about me but she doesn't know who I am. I just want him to pay like I have paid, that's all. To me, there is no nobility in suffering in silence. I am sure all his misdeeds will rain karma crap on him one day but part of me demands gratification to heal.
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 2, 2004 Author Posted July 2, 2004 I can totally relate with your situation in some aspects. My husband is disabled. He was born with spina bifida that left him in chronic pain all the time. He couldn't even sleep most nights. He had to quit working around 2 years ago. And things went down hill from there. He turned into a stranger to me. I begged him to open up to me to tell me what was going on. I don't know if he was frustrated because he couldn't work. But that didn't bother me. I make a good living and there was no need for him to work anyway. I never resented him for that. He got to where he would take his frustrations out on everyone around him. He didn't want to have sex with me anymore. I would lay in bed and cry for hours. I begged him to get help. I begged him to get some counseling. But he wouldn't. It has been over a year since we had sex. I totally wish you all the luck in the world. Maybe you can get some therapy for him and your daughter to see where all their bickering is coming from. It sounds like you and your husband have to much of a connection to not be together.
therresa kennedy Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Thanks for your words of encouragement, but I tried to get therapy for both my husband and myself, and my daughter. It didn't work, I have tried virtually everything, and when we finally separated it was the right thing to do. My life is much quieter and more tranquil now. I don't know if some relationships can be saved after a particular amount of time has transpired. I am starting to believe that relationships and marriages have only a certain time line, a certain kind of life cycle before boredom and monotony sets in. I feel badly, because my husband is really insecure and would be devastated if he knew that I am no longer as madly in love with him as I used to be, he places so much importance on us not divorcing, as if that proves we are still as strong a couple as we used to be. The sex part is every two weeks, it is still good, he has always been skilled in this arena, but it isn't enough. I am starting to hope he finds someone else, then one day the split can be mutual from a legal standpoint, but I will never abandon him, I could never do that and I will always be there for him, but I am begining to feel as if I just want to be free.
kirkyswife Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Let me see if I get the question straight - so you were INVOLVED with a MM and you ended things with him but he wants to be FRIENDS? Hmmm, not how is that possible? You all used to have sex and kiss - so does that all of a sudden just STOP because you said we're just going to be friends? C'mon if you are going to leave the MM alone - then leave him alone! There is no such thing as FRIENDSHIP in affairs, that's ridiculous. Isn't it the supposed friendship that created the affair or relationship? No, before reading the rest of this thread IMHO you can not have a relationship of any kind with a MM you have stopped seeing.
kirkyswife Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 First, let me start off by apologizing to you ladies (OW's) as a wife it is really hard for me to take into account your true feelings for a man that is cheating on his wife. I honestly until this very moment didn't really respect your feelings because I'm not clear if they are genuinely love or an adrenaline rush or lust or what. I've never been an OW, for two reasons - first I am married and second when approached by married men I am disgusted by their lack of honor and the disrespect he has for his wife. I know immediately that this person is untrustworthy, unstable and incapable of giving me what I want and deserve and is not my time or energy. My background is interesting because my parents have been married nearly 40 years and both of them cheated at various times with different people during their marriage. I am confident that I was sexually abused but have not been able to visualize his face. I was exposed to my father's infidelity at a young age (5 or 6) when he would take me "cruising" with his friends - they would cat call women and get numbers and I know I was disgusted then but it really disgusts me now. Fast forward to the 3rd grade - my parents were having lots of problems during this time - my father was spending a lot of time at a restaurant/bar near our home and would come home drunk telling my younger sister that Daddy has girlfriends that really like him and want to be with him and that he's going to leave my Mother because Daddy's girlfriends make him feel special. My mother on the other hand was either sleep or not at home at night - she used to hang out with her male friends by the beach and came home and would sleep during the day. By the 5th grade we relocated to another town in the same state and my mother took up with 1 guy she really claimed that she was in love with - she picked him up one time when we were coming back from visiting my dad & grandparents. I woke up late one night and came downstairs to find this man with his head in my mother's lap - they were sitting on the couch. I was pissed off. Then there was a guy from around town my mom was sneaking out to be with. I mean infidelity was just running rampid and we weren't even being sheltered from it - yet they didn't divorce they just stayed together. Finally 10 years ago my father announced to us during breakfast on Christmas morning (which just happens to be my mom's most favorite holiday of the year) and in the middle of her chemo/radiation treatments that he had cheated on my mother for the past 25 years. Oh there's way more to that but that's the gist and so as I am sure you can assume my greatest fear is being cheated on - I would much rather my husband leave me than to lie and deceive me. If he's not happy and can't dedicate time and/or energy to working things out, then just leave me - it'll hurt but I'll get over it alot better than finding out my husband led a double life. So when I look back at my parents I wonder if they ever truly knew what love was when they married eachother because to me their marriage never contained LOVE. It's about something else - but to me Love doesn't look, sound or feel like that. So what I had to do was do some soul searching and despite the Legal Separation my husband and I had for the past 10 years, the reality was I was technically married and having affairs with OM, (as was my husband with OW), I never lied about being married (legally separated) and never lied to my husband about dating - I was completely open and honest. But I was able to soften my hardened heart and appreciate your feelings and so forgive me for being so harsh - I didn't have the right to judge you like that. I guess things happen in life that are beyond our control and when you fall you fall. But I think with the end of every relationship comes a very important lesson and growth only comes from acknowledging your actions and discovering the lesson and passing the test that comes behind it so you can move on to your next life lesson in the mission to find your soulmate. I'm sorry that I didn't appreciate your pain and hope that all of you find comfort in knowing that your Prince will come some day - these lessons that are before you are here to help you work out your inner self so you are strong and able to contribute to a healthy productive relationship as a whole woman with a strong sense of self, pride and inner peace. Be blessed and stay strong!
therresa kennedy Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 I am actually not an OW. I am a wife, seperated from her husband, and have not had a relationship with a married man. I was just responding to some comments spock and midniteangel had posted. We have been posting for a while and sometimes look for each other's comments. But I have to say, your recent post was very sound advise and did cheer me for a brief moment. Thanks again Spock for your thoughts, but there is no hope for my marriage, I have accepted it, I am just going to let it slide it's natural course toward eventual dissolution and then perhaps one day I will be able to move on, maybe find someone new. I am obviously very apprehensive and not out "looking". I have always had this philosophy that if it is meant to happen it will, but it won't be for awhile, I know that. I probably won't be posting much after the fall term starts, maybe I'll keep in touch, I don't know. I have been going through a great deal of melancholy feelings the past few days, and many ephipanies as well regarding certain things. It is a lonely time in my life right now, but I will survive. Like our hometown (little sister) Tanya Harding said once. "I'll survive, I HAVE to".
Mr Spock Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 OK Therresa, but please understand I feel the death blow that you feel is inevitable was dealt 10 years ago.......sometimes the fallout can take a while. It's noble of you to stick around for a disabled man and help out but not noble foryour daughter to learn her dad is a prick. Rock and a hard place. I don't envy you. Kirkyswife, that's terrible. I for one wish your parents had gotten a divorce!! And not exposed you to abuse. Now that I KNOW how much it hurts, me and others, I would never enter into an adulterous relationship again. Oh, and it'snot like it was just a 'sudden revelation" but I do understand more fully the depth of the betrayal. But I still want to kick his ass. Perhaps I'll get the wives on this forum to hold him down while I kick.....would I feel better if he had to be on his best behaviour because his wife was an as$ hair away from divorcing him? Yes. Would it make me look good in this small town? Nope.
sunshineforblue Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Well, lets see, since my last post. I told everything....I went 2 days without any word from hiim. Today I talked to him. He was very nice and of course I was nice to. I was friends to begin with, and now I'm paying for this. I knew before I started that I was the OW and that the outcome might not be in my favor. But now I know, that after getting dumped like this, there will be no more MM in my life. So here is the next question I have. He did not tell his wife everything about us. Just that we had kissed and made out. But it went further. I can't say how further but more than a kiss. He told me today that if anyone tells her about how far we went then it would be over for them. I so bad want to let it out!! NOt only about how far but what all we did together. I want to look at her and tell her that the kiss he gave her has been on me. He is still at his brothers house living and has told me that it will be a long time, if then, when he moves back in. I know he still loves me ...I can tell. He told me that he has been worried about me and wanted to talk to me but was scared. He said at night when he lays down he thinks of me. He is so confussed, I know this. But after 18 yrs of marriage he told me that the feelings were not there anymore. Now he wants to go back and try to work on this marriage when he was miserable and so was she. I would like to know the statistics of a marriage working like this. This is driving me crazy. But hey, I got asked out today!! I need to forget him, but sometimes all i want to do it make him hurt to. Any suggestions? Should I let someone call her and let her know what really happened with us using a private number. I want him to hurt to. He is the only one that hasn't been hurt, she has, I have. Isn't it his turn now?
murasaki Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by sunshineforblue I need to forget him, but sometimes all i want to do it make him hurt to. Any suggestions? Should I let someone call her and let her know what really happened with us using a private number. I want him to hurt to. He is the only one that hasn't been hurt, she has, I have. Isn't it his turn now? Okay, I realize that this thread has wandered a bit at times from the topic "can you be friends with a MM after the affair has ended" but my answer to your post is in that context. In short: I can totally appreciate that you're hurting and feel awful right now. But don't for a minute consider yourself this man's friend -- you're not. He's not your friend either, by the way. He's not treating you kindly with his hopeless angst and wishy-washiness. So don't twist yourself into an even bigger knot by trying to convince yourself that somehow the two of you might be friends even though the romance hasn't worked out. That might seem appealing on some level but you are nowhere near to feeling friendly toward him. You might never get to the point where you feel friendly toward him. And that's okay. Good luck. I don't know what to advise because I've never been in a situation like yours. It sounds very complicated. I hope you can resolve it in a way that will give you peace of mind.
littleflowerpot Posted July 3, 2004 Posted July 3, 2004 Originally posted by murasaki Okay, I realize that this thread has wandered a bit at times from the topic "can you be friends with a MM after the affair has ended" but my answer to your post is in that context. In short: I can totally appreciate that you're hurting and feel awful right now. But don't for a minute consider yourself this man's friend -- you're not. He's not your friend either, by the way. He's not treating you kindly with his hopeless angst and wishy-washiness. So don't twist yourself into an even bigger knot by trying to convince yourself that somehow the two of you might be friends even though the romance hasn't worked out. That might seem appealing on some level but you are nowhere near to feeling friendly toward him. You might never get to the point where you feel friendly toward him. And that's okay. Good luck. I don't know what to advise because I've never been in a situation like yours. It sounds very complicated. I hope you can resolve it in a way that will give you peace of mind. i agree. and telling the wife is not going to help you at all. you are considering that because you're hurt and i understand it but you have to understand that it's not going to bring him back and it's not going to make you feel any better. have you considered therapy? it's helped me tremendously to understand some of my anger and learning some coping mechanisms to deal with my pain.
Mr Spock Posted July 3, 2004 Posted July 3, 2004 No, you can't tell the wife for revenge-but she deserves to know the truth. This is the dilemma. It's unfortunate we OW don't realize this until after the affair is over. It's a catch 22, or whatever you call it-I'm DYING FROTHING FOAMING to have the beans spilled publicly about my sexual participation with my MM. He can stay home and hide, and spend time with his family. I'm not going to. The only reason I don't is because I don't know his wife all that well...poor woman....one of my friends spotted them in the department store today and made a beeline for him-he knew that she knew....and turned around and got RTF out of there. She wasn't sure if she was going to kick him or just tell him he was scum(not in front of wife, she was gone by that time)but was delayed..... Anyways, no real point to this post but I am feeling like sharing, because it helps me be less ANGRY about the whole darn thing. I felt pretty good that my friend liked me enough and was angry enough that he hurt me to confront him. Yay for me
sunshineforblue Posted July 3, 2004 Posted July 3, 2004 Well, last night I had to face the MM with his wife. It was terrible. She stared me down the whole evening. OUr daughters play on the same softball team and are best friends, I wanted to walk over to her and tell her she doesn't intimadate me at all and tell all her friends that she is sitting with that not only has she talked about each one of them, but also talked trash about them. And most of them she did. I want to set her in her place. Of course he couldn't even look at me cause he knew that she was watching his every last move. If I looked over at him, she would see me and glare. I will get thru this somehow or another. I'm still contenplating the tho ught of letting her get a call about what really happened between us but I have to make the wording correct. I want him to hurt just like I have. I know this is over but it aint over til this little lady sings.
Mr Spock Posted July 3, 2004 Posted July 3, 2004 Yes, just remember you may bear the brunt of it......keep your head up. Don't be ashamed. I'm not. I was in love(still am) and it circumvented the part of my brain that handles intelligent thought. Don't let the bastards grind you down....
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 6, 2004 Author Posted July 6, 2004 I spent most of this long holiday weekend doing some major soul searching. I went out of town a couple of days by myself so I could try to work out all the things going on. I discovered that I do truly loved my MM and I want to try to give our relationship a shot. So, I called him. I told him that I was not ready to pick up where we left off. But I would like to start dating him. And just see where it goes from there. But then his wife called me later this weekend. She told me that she felt like she owed it to MM to give me a insight into their relationship. She told me that their marriage had never been about love. She had been friends with him and she wanted kids and was getting worried because she was getting out of her child bearing age. (She is over 10 years older than her) So, they got married to have kids together. She went on to tell me that they agreed a long time ago if they ever found someone else that they would be happy for the other. That I should give him a chance because she knew he really loved me. But anyway, we had our first date this weekend. We went out for lunch alone. Then later went and got our kids and took them to see a firework show. Who knows where this will end up. All I know is I couldn't go on any longer pretending I didn't love him.
Author MidNiteAgl Posted July 7, 2004 Author Posted July 7, 2004 We had another date last night. Well, if you want to call it a date. He came over and we watched some movies. This is great. No pressure. No hiding. Everything out in the open. I am trying to keep things from moving to fast. But it's hard. He started talking about his divorce with me last night. And I told him that I didn't want to be involved. That I didn't want to involved with that part of his life. I don't know he says that I am strange for not wanting to know. But I don't. Does this make me weird? I just don't want something to happen and it come back on me. I hope y'all don't mind me making this my own personal diary(in a way). But this is where I feel I can get all of my thoughts and emotions out. A place where I can talk about things that I can't talk about to anyone else.
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