mephisto Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Hi Guys. After some shaky trouble with my ex, we started talking again but after 4 days she went back into this strange moods and suddenly...poof, all communication is cut off. I tried my best sending her a hand written letter but no reply. Tried to call her after 20 days and she didnt pick up and wished her all the best by sms. I hate the silent treatment, its just another way to manipulate and control you. I now for a fact all she wants is just to leave me guessing about everything. I hate this silly games. And this is not the first time, previous "argument" she didnt talk to me for 45 days!!! This is just not healthy. But I guess her interest level is just close to null. Probably with somebody else cause nobody who claims to love you does this. After 45 days not talking to me she asked why I didnt call her!!? Now I do and not picking up. Something fishy is going on. Any insights, please ? Why all this strange behavior ? Anybody ever dealt with this kind of situations ? Thank you!
MissBrunette84 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Are you my ex? lol I'm only kidding. Maybe she is trying to take a time out from it all, kind of going no contact so she can distance herself and feel better as we all know break ups are not easy. To her it may not be a game. I cut my ex off because then I can heal without a constant reminder not because I want to play games, because I genuinly can start to heal myself not hearing/seeing/talking to him.
ladyabstrused Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Beats me. My relationship just ended days ago and I'm wondering why he hasn't contacted me (not like him really). I guess sometimes we just can't make out what the other person is thinking or deciding. Sometimes it just all doesn't make sense.
Author mephisto Posted May 18, 2012 Author Posted May 18, 2012 Thanks!! Let me ask you, you just took off without a word , a sign, a warning ? What happened after that ? Did you go back to him ? What was his reaction ? Maybe you are my ex!! Are you my ex? lol I'm only kidding. Maybe she is trying to take a time out from it all, kind of going no contact so she can distance herself and feel better as we all know break ups are not easy. To her it may not be a game. I cut my ex off because then I can heal without a constant reminder not because I want to play games, because I genuinly can start to heal myself not hearing/seeing/talking to him.
ladyabstrused Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Are you my ex? lol I'm only kidding. Maybe she is trying to take a time out from it all, kind of going no contact so she can distance herself and feel better as we all know break ups are not easy. To her it may not be a game. I cut my ex off because then I can heal without a constant reminder not because I want to play games, because I genuinly can start to heal myself not hearing/seeing/talking to him. Is it not okay to want to heal (maintain some distance) but still hear from the other person to just know if the other is doing okay or not? Just out of concern? I just wonder this really. Or is it better to just no contact, and focus on healing. I find it hard to heal right now...might be slowing down the healing too cos I worry about the other.
Author mephisto Posted May 18, 2012 Author Posted May 18, 2012 Am I wrong thinking that when they dissapear just like that is because they really dont feel a thing for you as you could possibly walk away and meet someone new without them giving a damn ? Just a thought. Beats me. My relationship just ended days ago and I'm wondering why he hasn't contacted me (not like him really). I guess sometimes we just can't make out what the other person is thinking or deciding. Sometimes it just all doesn't make sense.
ladyabstrused Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Thanks!! Let me ask you, you just took off without a word , a sign, a warning ? What happened after that ? Did you go back to him ? What was his reaction ? Maybe you are my ex!! Lol this would be funny to see.
ladyabstrused Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Am I wrong thinking that when they dissapear just like that is because they really dont feel a thing for you as you could possibly walk away and meet someone new without them giving a damn ? Just a thought. I don't think you're wrong. There's a high chance that is the reason I think. But? It could also mean they're very hurt. Cos I was once, very hurt and didn't want to talk to him at that time. But? He saw it as me moving on and meeting other people and not being interested in him (when I was actually really very depressed).
MissBrunette84 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Thanks!! Let me ask you, you just took off without a word , a sign, a warning ? What happened after that ? Did you go back to him ? What was his reaction ? Maybe you are my ex!! In my situation he left me, but its not the first time so I have had to go no contact a couple of times. He always willing to be friends with me and says he'd be there for me. The time in January, I just said I couldn't be friends and literally cut him out of everything, changed my number, emails, deavticated my facebook. I fell off the planet basically. To me it was my only way of coping at that time, I really couldn't deal with hearing and seeing him, so thats what I did. He turned up at my door though ebcause I guess thats the only way he could contact me and we did end up back together until he broke up with me again 3 weeks ago.
MissBrunette84 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Is it not okay to want to heal (maintain some distance) but still hear from the other person to just know if the other is doing okay or not? Just out of concern? I just wonder this really. Or is it better to just no contact, and focus on healing. I find it hard to heal right now...might be slowing down the healing too cos I worry about the other. I think every situation is different and what helps another heal, might not help them. In my case I had to do it for my own sanity, I was not getting over it and I cried for a week solid and was in a really, really low place. I had no expectations though, I thought I'd never see him again, but surpisingly as heartbreaking as it is, it helped and to no end. After 3 weeks of no contact at all, nothing, I started to feel just better than I ever have. The thing is heal yourself with no contact and you can always see if they are ok later in time if you feel really concerned, but make sure you are ok yourself first. 1
MissBrunette84 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 I'm doing the same as before now, complete no contact, I dropped off the planet again lol. I am not expecting him to turn up at my door this time though, as this time it really is final.
Glass Bead Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 And this is not the first time, previous "argument" she didnt talk to me for 45 days!!! This is just not healthy. You say it yourself: why wait 45 days for someone to answer? Why bother to spend all that time obsessing with someone who seems to be wanting some spare time? 1
fucpcg Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Do some research and reading into Silent Treatment. It is very real, very painful, very hard to deal with, and if you are on the receiving end, the person who is performing the act on you is quite callous. It hurts, and you want soo bad to just be able to TALK about your relationship and what happened, but the more you try, the more they will stay silent. Do some real reading by the Professionals, it's much better than just chit chat you will get in dating forum.
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