Author bolase Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 And those have been dates. In those cases you were using the men to stroke your ego. Women do this all of the time I mean using men to feel better about themselves. The excuse changes though. You like to use surfing as an excuse. And you like to test your man to see if he cares enough about you to forbid it. That's what you were looking for. That bf obviously doesn't. He failed the test. This is why he failed the test. He has plenty of other women to "stroke." I see why you feel the need to test him. He has plenty of female companionship he is playing with and you are trying to out compete them to the prize. That's because you now have a man to pay attention to just you and that feels good opposed to the playboy you call a bf. You have been shopping for a new boy and beau all along. Yep you like them older and his interest was the aphrodisiac needed to send you into a frenzy chomping at the bit. I wouldn't either but that still means you didn't capture his heart. It is pretty hard to capture the heart of a man when he has so many hyenas preying on him. Such BS. Sorry but they were not "dates", but I see you don't believe in doing activities with friends who aren't of the same sex. These are long time friends of mine and my boyfriends. But you don't seem to understand that. I don't like older guys..I've never dated one so you can't accurately say that.
kaylan Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Lol the surfing this was a date though hun. At least for the guy it was. It was all in his plan to get closer to you 1 on 1. Hence it was a date. At your mid 20s you should know this stuff.
Author bolase Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 hindsight. and to him for sure, but not in my mind!
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 hindsight. and to him for sure, but not in my mind! You are as interested in him so on your side it was just as much a date.
Author bolase Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 no I wasn't at that time. stop trolling my threads!
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 no I wasn't at that time. stop trolling my threads! Sorry but you don't become interested some time after. The interest begins from the first moment you meet someone. That he wanted you as well simply amplified what you already felt. Sorry but trolling is when you say things just for effect. You need to learn trolling isn't merely telling another what they don't want to hear and can't accept.
Author bolase Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 you're saying ridiculous things, like any time Ive surfed and my boyfriend hasn't been present, that I was on a date. and that his having dinner with old friends who are girls qualifies as a romantic time. Nope. You don't have to be sorry about everything. And no, I did become interested (in that way) afterwards, i wasn't thinking anything at the time, and I can't express that any more clearly.
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Given enough time you'll get over your denial. It might take you repeating this mistake quite a few times more though. You can't seem to analyze your own behavior critically. 1
6ft180natl Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 you're saying ridiculous things, like any time Ive surfed and my boyfriend hasn't been present, that I was on a date. and that his having dinner with old friends who are girls qualifies as a romantic time. Nope. You don't have to be sorry about everything. And no, I did become interested (in that way) afterwards, i wasn't thinking anything at the time, and I can't express that any more clearly. Going surfing with this guy one on one? Yea that was a date. I had an ex like that too she used to come up with all these reasons her outings with male friends were not dates because she liked having that feeling of tension with different men who were interested in her. Eventually she would find out the guy was interested in her and that was his reason for asking her and this happened in every single case(never tried to stop her from going). She also eventually admitted that these situations were playing with fire after I started to have similar outings with women. You are young and everyone is different but I would think you will have issues in the future in long term relationships because of your boundaries. 1
Author bolase Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 I have been in long term relationships x2 and never had issues with boundaries, or cheating with my partner or his friends.. but, everyone is different. because I go surfing often and with different people - also because I'm in a new city and hardly know anybody, and want to meet new people - it's not the romantic, walk on the beach situation you guys seem to think it is. As I said, my boyfriend has female friends and that's okay with me, I don't feel jealous or mistrust him. I obviously won't be doing 1 on 1 with this guy again.
LittlePrince Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 A date doesn't have to be a candlelight dinner. Even after you stop dating him you'll still see him at work everyday and even if you left you'll still have feelings for him. It isn't over yet though the other relationship is. Your use of surfing to find partners isn't over yet either. Any time you allow yourself to be alone with a man or seek out a situation in which you can be alone with him then you are trying him on to see if he is a fit. All of the things you throw in the way like his age or your relationship status to convince yourself you aren't is self-delusion.
goldengirl11 Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 goldengirl, you totally threadjacked me. Sorry for that!
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