c0nfused88 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I was in a relatively long relationship and am just starting to put myself back out there. From a few current experiences, I don't think I handle rejection very well-- and am not emotionally 100% there. However, I'm not real sure I have ever been. How can I best handle rejection in the dating world? What is the best way for a woman to meet men and reduce her chances of being rejected? How do you deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I don't think it's possible to reduce your chance of rejection completely, unless you lower your standards to an abysmal level. Just have to try your best to take it in stride. I don't think anyone has an easy time with it. If you can manage to be comfortable in your own skin and really like yourself for who you are, rejection from others will only look foolish on them! haha! Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I was in a relatively long relationship and am just starting to put myself back out there. From a few current experiences, I don't think I handle rejection very well-- and am not emotionally 100% there. However, I'm not real sure I have ever been. How can I best handle rejection in the dating world? Excellent questions. One of the most common and tragic assumptions I have seen many women make is the thought that they are not "good enough" and hence why they were rejected. This is so sad, because they are lying to themselves. The dating world is not about being "good enough" or not. Rather, it's important for women to understand that chemistry and the other glues that make a relationship work are different for each person. A person can be a 10 in every area, yet that doesn't make a relationship work. It takes many different aspects to accept a mate and to grow in a strong relationship. Mutual goals are just one such aspect. If a woman is rejected by a guy who just wants to play around, while she wants to be "in a relationship", then obviously they do not share the glue of mutual goals. Should a woman who is rejected therefore think she is "not good enough" because of the difference is goals? Nope. Rather, how women can best handle rejection in the dating world is by evaluating her goals in life, and when rejected, note that the rejector wants different things than she does. Rejected merely means different tastes, like instead of wanting tea, one wants coffee. If more women understood this logical side to being rejected, they would not demean themselves by labeling themselves "not good enough" Different does not mean "not good enough", but rather it just shows that people are different and want different things. What is the best way for a woman to meet men and reduce her chances of being rejected? Go to a place where the men have similar goals. For example, if one's goal is only to go through life getting drunk and laid, go to bars to meet guys. If one's goal is to make a positive difference in the community, go to different activities that help the community and meet guys who are passionate about helping too. If one's goal includes getting physically fit, meet guys in gyms or sports activities. If a woman meets men involved in activities that are important to both of them, that will reduce a bit her chances of getting rejected. Another step to reduce chances of being rejected is taking care of oneself physically. Most men are visual creatures. They like beauty. So, do your best to take care of yourself. How do you deal with it? The best way to deal with it is to understand that rejection is just not continuing down one "road." There are many other "roads", some that you will reject, and some that will reject you. However it's important to find the road that is going to where you would like to go. When I and my husband mutually picked each other, we accepted/ not rejected each other because we both were attracted to each other's hearts, appearance, convictions, and goals, and we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together!!! So, though I have been rejected before and have rejected others before, I have understood that this merely meant that the other men were not for me, and I was not for them. However, I am so thankful that the man who chose me is one who I also chose, and we are very happy to have accepted each other!!! So when you feel rejected, just remember that rejecting/accepting are just choices, and are not against one personally. And, remember that it just brings you one step closer to being accepted by and accepting a person who hopefully does share your goals in life! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 just remember that it's more about them than it is about you. don't take it so personally. easier said than done ? not really. focus on your own mission in life, keep putting yourself out there, and the right person will come around. don't fall into the trap of, 'if only i could be bigger, better, faster, stronger..etc.' - it's a losing proposition. you'll be at the gym, working out forever, and increasingly bitter that you still don't have a boyfriend. relax and enjoy life in your own terms, not someone elses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 No easy way to handle it. The first few times sting if you really like the person. Just trust there is a reason. If you're a woman, 9 times out of 10 you aren't doing the asking so that automatically gives you an easier time of it! One easy way is to put feelers out there and see if he bites. Kinda like fishing. I don't know how women do that other than flirt. Some will make it very obvious and touch a lot or come out and say they are interested. But that's pretty rare. For me, I will try to open lines of communication. If the woman takes it up then I will see where the conversation goes. If she doesn't I just take it as she's not that interested. So flirt with the guy, and if he shows interest, make it easy on him. If he doesn't ask you out then you don't have to face rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 sigh holy Sht Bethebutterfly cheered me up a bit. there is this guy i like..mind you..anyway i have never met him in real life but i really admire him. i like him a lot. he is not that good looking compared to other guys who want to be with me but ...gosh there is something about him. he always tells me he gets rejected a lot when he tries to go for girls..but then i dont think he thinks im pretty or good enough for him. this has placed a lot of toll on my self esteem that i have and still am considering plastic surgery..i have been rejected by 2 doctors. lately ive been looking at the facebook of guys who want to be with me..theyre all such good looking guys..blonde..tall..ripped..well endowed (self proclaimed) but why do i like the one that doesnt seem to like me.. wtf..****ed up world this is. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I handled rejection by taking the hint and losing interest, then working on myself some more. If I could be face to face today with the women who rejected me in the past, I'd have no problem rejecting THEM this time around. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 What is the best way for a woman to meet men and reduce her chances of being rejected? How do you deal with it? If I had to boil it down into one bit of advice, it would be to cultivate and maintain a full and diverse life and social integration and accept whatever romantic potentials come of that for what they are; potentials. Some are incompatible, some are unrealized; some are perhaps opportunities where preparation of oneself can pay off. Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 The best way to handle rejection is to move on, quickly!, and don't look back. Someone else already mentioned but to realize it IS them, and not you. Don't fall into a trap and get yourself down, which will just hurt you from moving on, or perhaps even make you jaded. No one is worth that. Think about what you are doing. If you are getting rejected a lot, then you are going after the wrong type of companion. Know yourself. For example, I used to think having a pretty gf was ideal. Someone "fun", who was outgoing, younger, etc. I finally realized the not so glamorous, more down to earth women around my own age are much more fun to be around and my "type", I should say. The sky, therefore, opened up in my dating world. That's the best way to meet someone good and lessen your chances of rejection. Just be realistic about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Don't go after a specific person that meets a criteria, ie, "tall, dark and handsome". Be you and put yourself around men who share similar interests such as yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FrustratedStandards Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 There's nothing to it. If a man doesn't like you, then he doesn't like you. I don't know why people let it get to them. So he didn't like you, so what? These days people let dating determine their self-value. It shouldn't be this way. Someones value in the dating market is far from their value as a person altogether. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singlelife Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I was in a relatively long relationship and am just starting to put myself back out there. From a few current experiences, I don't think I handle rejection very well-- and am not emotionally 100% there. However, I'm not real sure I have ever been. How can I best handle rejection in the dating world? What is the best way for a woman to meet men and reduce her chances of being rejected? How do you deal with it? Get over it and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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