Author CaterpillarGirl Posted June 28, 2004 Author Posted June 28, 2004 stephy, Thank you so much for your sweet reply. He does not live with me. On saturday he proposed a "trial separation", but I am using this time to try emotionally distance myself from him and move on without him. I don't think I could stay with him now. The trust that I had in him, in us, is gone. If he isn't head over heels for me then, yes, I guess I should let him go. I don't know if he'll come back, but I'm going to live my life as if he won't. Oh, I wish I wasn't the one to have to go through this. It's not fair. I know that sounds so juvenile and selfish, but I don't care. I just want to stop hurting. I feel so empty. Loveshack is the best, though, for great people with big hearts. You guys make me feel so hopeful that there are still loving people in the world.
stephysthebest Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 you seem like a smart girl who knows what she wants. i hope this doesn't burn you. sometimes you go through times of "how am I going to get through this." you keep asking yourself how you plan to do this by yourself. how you can make it, until one day you realize you've been making it all along. trust yourself, believe in yourself. and this too shall pass. we are all survivors on a vast piece of land just trying to make it. But remember...being a female has it's perks. we are much more able to forgive and forget. we love differently and we nurture, maybe sometimes we should nurture ourselves instead of others from time to time. i try to help where i can relate and most of us can relate to emotional pain, unfortunately it has been what has made me a better person. use your own trials and tribulations to educate yourself. adversity is not a bad thing if it is used with good intentions.
meanon Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so low, CaterpillarGirl. I know you hurt a lot now but it's best you knew and you will get over him and meet someone whose love you will not doubt. I feel as if I've given all the love I had to give. And it's wasted. I just wasted it. Love may not always be appreciated or reciprocated but it's rarely wasted. It is a gift that enriches others and ourselves. It's the greatest expression of our humanity, seeing that which is special in someone else and making them aware of it. So often when it's not returned the first instinct is to question ourselves and our judgement. There may well be things you can learn from this experience but try and make them positive things, don't beat yourself up for caring. Like you say, the fact that there are loving people in the world is a reason for hope. You are one of them
Author CaterpillarGirl Posted June 28, 2004 Author Posted June 28, 2004 Thank you, meanon. Your words are very soothing.
moimeme Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 That was great, Meanon! He has a sort-of movie idea of how love should be with the whiz-bangs and crazy glitter and all. And he doesn't feel it when he looks at me. CatGirl - I'm awful sorry this has happened to you. It really is wretched. My thoughts on situations like this are that there must be something one has to learn from each relationship. Besides, this guy kept you occupied and away from some fellow you might have settled with while you and your intended are finding your way to each other. I think some of us are supposed to grow and change and do a lot of work in order to be great partners to the people we will end up with. I don't think it's a bad thing. But wouldn't it be nice if we got a little break from these 'lessons' every now and then? Love is on its way to you. Never lose faith in that.
Debster Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 I agree, love is on the way. If it is any consolation after I ended the relationship with my ex (for the third and final time) who also thought love should be like in the movies and never knew if he loved me - in less than a year, I found my fiance. Believe me, if you start expecting to be treated with respect and care and want someone to love you in return, it will happen. Good luck.
Author CaterpillarGirl Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 You women are so caring and wise! Thank you so much for your words of hope! It is exactly what I need to hear right now. I feel so lost and everything just seems grey. But then I read your posts and remind myself that I'll get through this, that something better is bound to be around the corner, and each day grows a little brighter. Thank you! Bunnies are happy things.
stephysthebest Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 It is good to see a positive response Cat. Keep your chin up.
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