Cobber9 Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Beenburned, I totally agree, in life there are no guarantees, and you never know what the next relationship will bring, however that doesn't mean that you should shrug your shoulders and say I should forgive and forget the affair, because it could happen in another relationship as well, so I might as well work through this one. There are plenty of couples that don't cheat on each other, that respect each other so highly they would never do that to one another. Good for you that you worked through it. For me, I tried to work through it for 5 years, she was unremorseful, and when I came home early from a trip one day she was in the bathtub with a vibrator having phone sex with a guy she met once, so she said. What a waste of 5 very valuable years to me. I was angry at myself for wasting it, for lowering the respect for myself, that I compromised so greatly to keep the family together. I divorced, stayed the kind of father I was in the first place, and I couldn't be happier. What a relief it was to be out of that, to never have to compromise again on my values.
beenburned Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 Cobber, I'm sorry your wife wasn't remorseful and did not commit fully to you and your marriage. The Ws's have to want to change and be willing to back it up with their actions in the future. Only 35% of all marriages touched by infidelity make it in the long run.
firemanq Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 [quote=Cobber9;4025409 Good for you that you worked through it. For me, I tried to work through it for 5 years, she was unremorseful, and when I came home early from a trip one day she was in the bathtub with a vibrator having phone sex with a guy she met once, so she said. What a waste of 5 very valuable years to me. I was angry at myself for wasting it, for lowering the respect for myself, that I compromised so greatly to keep the family together. I divorced, stayed the kind of father I was in the first place, and I couldn't be happier. What a relief it was to be out of that, to never have to compromise again on my values. If you were a better man, you would have rushed out and bought her a new toy. A 110 V toy!
Cobber9 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 If you were a better man, you would have rushed out and bought her a new toy. A 110 V toy! In fact, I started laughing when I walked in on her, she hung up on the guy, he called back twice...he wasn't finished, I answered the second time and told him she would call him back in a short while. At that point she told me she would agree to whatever I wanted in the divorce as long as I wouldn't tell anyone... So I did get something out of it...and guess what, she stuck to her word. I was a wealthy man, and I stayed wealthy. Humiliation was more valuable to her than money at that point, funny what basic elements people break down to in such situations.
Benedictatu Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Are you happy despite Infidelity? either with the WS or with a new partner. I would be very happy if he would come back. I would forgive him even that. I know he doesn't really love her can't really love her like he loved me. We built a life together and he tossed it away for her but I know it's me he really loves. I would forgive him but I think his pride gets in the way and he can't admit he made a mistake so he pretends to be happy with her but if he's really happy why are they still living in OUR house he bought for us to live in he did not buy it for her.
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