Getting despreate here!

[Lirpa]

Hey everyone! I've been lurking around here for a while and now it's time to speak out some.

 

Me and my LRD partner dont got any end date and cuz of his education it will be delayed 2-3 years from now. I The thing is, we both want to live in my country in the end. Which means I have to give up apartment and job to go there for two years and then back again. And thoose two years will fly when we're together. He still lives at home. I dont know if I should go for it and be there for two years until he's finished or if I should stay here and pay off my loan. Since I feel financially insecure about moving there and get a job. But neither of us believe we'll make it apart for 2 more years cuz it's been horrible going trough the distance this one year we've been together. I dont like missing out his life and he dont wanna miss out on mine. I'm just worried about how we should make it work out.

 

thanks for help

[pteromom]

How old are you?

 

Have you met/dated in person at all? If not, I would NOT go live there. Go for a vacation? Sure.

[TMichaels]

Uh, don't know where either of you live, but I think you need to do a little more research before you just assume that's it's as easy as picking up and moving to another country and living there for two years because you want to.

 

If you're both in the EU it's a little easier. But how do you propose to live once you get there? Your bf lives with his parents. I assume he must also be a student. Also assume he's living with his parents because he can't afford to be out on his own.

 

If that's the case, where do you expect to live and how do you expect to support yourself? Is it even possible for you to legally work in his country? If so, have you noticed that jobs are not exactly a dime a dozen these days just about everywhere on the globe?

 

I'm not even get into the intricacies, costs and odds of successfully obtaining the proper permission and visas to stay in another country for longer than three to six months.

 

As I said, I think you're being a bit naive. Before debating whether to go or stay you need to do your homework. I'm willing to bet your conundrum will turn out to be a non-issue because it's not even possible to do what you are stressing out about.

 

HTH,

TMichaels

[Lirpa]

I'm 21 and he turns 20 this year. We both live within the EU and I'm also well aware of that moving is not an easy task because there is a lot of paperwork to be done, the search for a new job, new apartment and all that. We have met in total 6 times 2 weeks or more each time in one year. We have strong feelings for eachothers still. It is possible for me to live in his house since they got a spare room- But I dont know for how long they would like to have me there. Maybe max half a year. In my country my brother could live in my apartment while I'm away but I'm well aware that there is a lot of work with moving. Especially to another country and then to get a job again back in my country will be really hard. So the only option I got left is to stay in a distance of two more years until he actually might be able to move here and we finally can settle down?

[TMichaels]

So the only option I got left is to stay in (sic) a distance of two more years until he actually might be able to move here and we finally can settle down?

 

Yep, that would be my recommendation. Think about it. What's two years out of a lifespan of say 75-80 years and perhaps 50-60 years together?

 

Besides, if you're both in the EU, it's not as though you're talking a 12+ hour and six-figure mileage difference that would keep you apart.

 

If you can't make it two years with the kind of visitation schedule you've described, you probably won't "go the distance" as a couple anyway.

 

Let him finish his education. You pay off your loans in the meantime, and enjoy the fact the two of you are working hard to put all the pieces of the puzzle in place to ensure you'll be in the best position to enjoy a lifetime together.

 

Best,

TMichaels