aznnguyen88 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/325893-i-cheated-she-broke-up-me-but-im-still-allowed-sleep-over this is the link to my post previously. I am one of the men who have cheated on their women, and realize the painful consequences.I regret what I did everyday. Here is the story I cheated on her. She found out. She is keeping me around. We are friends but.... I have been sleeping at her house everyday still, she kisses me sometimes, she still tells me she loves me, But everything feels so wrong. She recently started chatting/chilling with this group of guys who i know want to bang her. She is constantly making comments to me that hurt and i know she knows it hurts me. Example. " the next guy that.." She keeps talking about the next time she dates someone else or the next guy she see's...while she is hanging out with me. Im so madly in love with her, and i am trying everything i can to make things right. right now she is so hot and cold, im not sure what I should do. I love this girl so much and im afraid of loosing her forever but I feel like the more i smother her, and the tighter I hold on to her I am suffocating any feelings she could have for me again. this girl is so special to me, i knew she would love me forever and she made me feel so special. But i wronged her and i decieved her and now when we hang out there is this feeling in the air that is tainted. I have lost my appetite lately, i get a sick feeling in my stomach whenever i think about those other guys hitting her up. I just want to beat the crap out of something. This is putting me into a very depressive state of mind. I am becoming consumed by negative thoughts. I hate not being able to eat, i feel like i've lost 10lbs in the last weeks which is a lot for a lean guy like myself. I feel like throughout my day im getting better and slowly get my appetite back , but then like last night she wanted to see " The Dictator" so we smoked in my car , then this guy called her and she chatted with him, then we went into the movies. In the movies she felt so distant. After the movie she felt distant again. She is constantly being mean to me on purpose now and hitting me where she knows it hurts. And when i say to her can i leave now, if u want me to just let me know ill leave....she tries and stops me and i stay cause i honestly dont want to leave. I just want her back, but im afraid its gone to far to fix. Has anyone been in situation similar to this? What should i do? This is making me sick to my stomach, i cant eat, think properly at work, i feel so drained.
Author aznnguyen88 Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 i just paid 2$ and found out online where this guy who might being trying to bang her lives. Im going to do something real stupid soon but i dont think i can stop.
worldgonewrong Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Don't do anything dumb. You screwed around on her, and now she's leveling the playing field. You have to live with the consequences. And why channel all your anger into that guy? She's not some timid mouse being wildly seduced. My take - break up with her. You're both not ready for a serious relationship. Your health (physical and mental) will improve once you're thinking straight.
Author aznnguyen88 Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 why does she say she loves me, still talks to me and tries to hang out . Is she sorry for me. Am i a sorry person that she pities me. Or is she getting back at me, i know i deserve it and i will take it from her but..i gotta vent somehow, i just wanna take out all my anger on this guy now that i know where he lives, cause she is texting him constantly and openly when she asked me to chill. AHHH , GRRRRRRR We had this trip planned for vegas for EDC in 3 weeks. Ive already invested 1000$ on this trip and I want her to go, i just dont know if she is using me now so she can go. She really doesnt want to be with me ? My mind is so negative...
Author aznnguyen88 Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 i know i sound like a whinny kid right now. i just...idk man, im being consumed by this. its all i think about, i can't stop. i feel like im loosing my mind. the pussy is never worth it. i never want to go through this again, or put anyone through this ever. its just so hard to let it go. especially cause edc is coming up i want to go with her and no1 else even though other girls are offering me $ for my other ticket. I cant see myself going with anyone but her. I know this guy isnt trying to **** with me. I just feel instant anger/dislike towards him cause he asked for her number when we were still together. I have a very flawed minset but i keep thinking everyone is trying to bang her.
Texsec Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I can give you my take, for what its worth..... 1. I think she still cares about you, but, she is hurt and may be testing you. 2. Freaking out will only seem controlling and she will pull away more. 3. Anger towards the OM will not help, you are not married, so, she can date/see who she wants. If she is talking to him, it's her choice, he is just a guy talking to a SINGLE girl. 4. If she finds out you have tracked this guy down and are watching/stalking her, she will pull the trigger very fast on you and not look back.... 5. If you really want to get her back and really love her, she IS not just p*ssy and is worth it. Back off, calm down. Let her know she is special, tell her your sorry for your screw up...show her you are sorry..... She ain't gone yet, but, you get only one shot at getting her back. Anger on your part is a guaranteed deal killer for her...You cheated, not her, She has a right to be bent with you...If you can't calm down and think...you will push her away...... Just my opinion from observations and my own experience...... 1
smokey bear Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Its unfixable, i doubt she'll ever regain that trust again. Or look at you the same way, sorry x
trist Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 as someone else mentioned, this is all but dead... here is why... your girl, she is NEVER going to forget it... she might forgive you one day, but literally, to put it bluntly, you ripped her heart out of her chest, as it was still pulsating in the palm of your hands, you threw it down on the ground, and stomped on it with your foot... WHILE SHE WAS WATCHING YOU... this is the equivalent to what you did... her love for you is what keeps her around... her "punishing" you, is also another sign that she still loves you... if the love had all but gone, she would've walked away... she wants you to FEEL what she felt... but all this is going to accomplish is pushing the two of you further and further away from each other... even if she agrees to give it another go around, it will NEVER EVER be how it used to be before you got caught slipping'... ever... you have a better chance of winning the lotto... in the meantime, you need to take your lumps, because as a man, you did wrong by her... the LEAST you can do is help ease her pain as facked up as it sounds, i can tell you still got love for her... so do the right thing, take it like a man, don't whine, don't get angry, and just tell her you understand...
Tree_Salmon Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 i just paid 2$ and found out online where this guy who might being trying to bang her lives. Im going to do something real stupid soon but i dont think i can stop. You may just want what you cant have. You cheated and now its coming back to you. Don't waste money or time doing anything stupid. Why waste your time. She's probably moving on or forcing herself to move on. It'll only make you look like a fool if you do something stupid. Show her that you're a real man by going NC and improving yourself so you never cheat on a girl again. Who knows, maybe you'll see her again.
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