JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I'm 22 and my gf is 19. We met in college and have been dating for 10 months(as said in title) and she is giving me mix signals as far as sex. One day she is cool with making out and touching, but once I go further she freaks out. She is not religious nor a virgin, so it's not that she is scared of sex. Even when I speak to her about her sexual history because she knows about mine, she answers but quickly changes the subject. It's very hard to talk to her about sex without her changing the subject or looking nervous. I'm not understanding her. I mean sex is not super important, but we're monogamous and I would think she would trust me by now. Any advice?
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 It won't get better with time. She isn't giving you what you desire and she never will. It is time to break up and move on. 1
Pierre Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I'm 22 and my gf is 19. We met in college and have been dating for 10 months(as said in title) and she is giving me mix signals as far as sex. One day she is cool with making out and touching, but once I go further she freaks out. She is not religious nor a virgin, so it's not that she is scared of sex. Even when I speak to her about her sexual history because she knows about mine, she answers but quickly changes the subject. It's very hard to talk to her about sex without her changing the subject or looking nervous. I'm not understanding her. I mean sex is not super important, but we're monogamous and I would think she would trust me by now. Any advice? Hmm, so she is not saving her virginity. Is she a born again virgin? Did she tell you she wanted to wait till marriage? IS she pleasuring you by other means? More, importantly: Is she horny? At that age she should be quite horny. If not she may simply be a bit asexual and that is not good.
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 It won't get better with time. She isn't giving you what you desire and she never will. It is time to break up and move on. Isnt that harsh? We have been dating for almost a year!
dasein Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Welcome to the forum. You need to sit down and ask her what her hesitance is about. If you don't like the answer, move on. Generally, don't waste time with women who aren't sexually enthusiastic to your advances. Ten months is more than enough time for a non virgin to decide whether or not to move the relationship to the next sexual level. Good for you for being patient, but past a point, if you aren't getting what you want from the relationship, it's on you to make your expectations known and if they aren't met, move on.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Isnt that harsh? We have been dating for almost a year! The relationship was never a fit. Both of you should not have allowed it to linger for a year. 1
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Hmm, so she is not saving her virginity. Is she a born again virgin? Did she tell you she wanted to wait till marriage? IS she pleasuring you by other means? More, importantly: Is she horny? At that age she should be quite horny. If not she may simply be a bit asexual and that is not good. No, she is not a born again virgin or anything. She is not religious at all. No, the furthest she will go is making out. I'm always the one making the advances, and then she pushes me away like she is disgusted with sex.
veggirl Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 The relationship was never a fit. Both of you should not have allowed it to linger for a year. I agree with this, completely. You aren't sexually compatible, you are already beginning to (understandably!) resent her for it, you need to move on and in the future don't let things get to this point with someone you are not compatible with. 1
FitChick Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 What do you know about her family? Do her siblings have spouses or boy/girlfriends? Was she sexually molested or a victim of incest? Is she physically normal below the waist? She could be a lesbian but unaware of it or afraid to acknowledge it.
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Welcome to the forum. You need to sit down and ask her what her hesitance is about. If you don't like the answer, move on. Generally, don't waste time with women who aren't sexually enthusiastic to your advances. Ten months is more than enough time for a non virgin to decide whether or not to move the relationship to the next sexual level. Good for you for being patient, but past a point, if you aren't getting what you want from the relationship, it's on you to make your expectations known and if they aren't met, move on. Thanks Dasein. I sat down and spoke to her about sex about 5 times, and each time she either ignored me or got really angry/nervous. Maybe its my approach or something I missed.Alright, I see if I can speak to her about her hesitation
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 What do you know about her family? Do her siblings have spouses or boy/girlfriends? Was she sexually molested or a victim of incest? Is she physically normal below the waist? She could be a lesbian but unaware of it or afraid to acknowledge it. She's not gay lol, but her family is cool..I guess. She doesnt talk about them that much. I dont know if she was molested. I would think she would tell me by now if she was. I havent seen her below the waist...she doesnt let me go that far.
dasein Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I sat down and spoke to her about sex about 5 times, and each time she either ignored me or got really angry/nervous. I don't understand how your approach could be off unless you are being crude or offering ultimatums, which doesn't sound like your style. Adults in relationships -must- be able to address and communicate with their partners on such issues. This is a bigger red flag of itself than the lack of sex. In light of the above efforts on your part, I'd say it's time to move on and find more mature, giving prospects for yourself. Good luck.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 She's not gay lol, but her family is cool..I guess. She doesnt talk about them that much. I dont know if she was molested. I would think she would tell me by now if she was. I havent seen her below the waist...she doesnt let me go that far. She hasn't talked about you meeting her parents during one of the breaks? Women usually push hard for that. That's a big warning sign if I have ever seen one.
Pierre Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 No, she is not a born again virgin or anything. She is not religious at all. No, the furthest she will go is making out. I'm always the one making the advances, and then she pushes me away like she is disgusted with sex. She is not sexual or perhaps you don't know how to turn her on. She is not horny! At age 19 many women are very horny (whether virgins or not). Is this girl shaped like an hourglass and with no acne? Perfect smooth complexion?
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 I don't understand how your approach could be off unless you are being crude or offering ultimatums, which doesn't sound like your style. Adults in relationships -must- be able to address and communicate with their partners on such issues. This is a bigger red flag of itself than the lack of sex. In light of the above efforts on your part, I'd say it's time to move on and find more mature, giving prospects for yourself. Good luck. I was really calm talking to her. I was a bit frustrated, so maybe my tone had a little bit of frustration, but nothing to get pissed over I would think. I already fell for her, its not going to be easy to break it off now.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Is this girl shaped like an hourglass and with no acne? Perfect smooth complexion? Why? Are you hoping to get with her? 1
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 She hasn't talked about you meeting her parents during one of the breaks? Women usually push hard for that. That's a big warning sign if I have ever seen one. I've meet them a few times, but she doesnt talk about her parents that much is what I mean. Every now and again she does, but its usually negative.
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 She is not sexual or perhaps you don't know how to turn her on. She is not horny! At age 19 many women are very horny (whether virgins or not). Is this girl shaped like an hourglass and with no acne? Perfect smooth complexion? I can turn her on, she just stops at the part to turn me on. Bahaha uh yeah? Her body is pretty fit, nice soft featured face...she's hot. I'd hate to give her up
dasein Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Man, you basically have a car in the garage that you can't drive. Time to trade in for a different model!
Pierre Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I can turn her on, she just stops at the part to turn me on. Bahaha uh yeah? Her body is pretty fit, nice soft featured face...she's hot. I'd hate to give her up Yep, she may have a ton of estrogen giving her a beautiful female figure and clear skin. However, she may lack testosterone which is the libido hormone that causes acne in females. Have you fingered her when she is hot? She should be real wet down there if she is truly horny. Otherwise, she may fake it. Furthermore, you shuld not be demanding sex. That is a turn off and not a natural thing. Sex happens naturally between loving horny couples.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I can turn her on, she just stops at the part to turn me on. Bahaha uh yeah? Her body is pretty fit, nice soft featured face...she's hot. I'd hate to give her up Then you'll have to get use to the relationship you have and not the relationship you want. 1
FitChick Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Has she ever been to a gynecologist? If not suggest she go "because every woman should." If she has questions as to whether or not she is normal, she could ask her doctor. She might be worrying about something silly. Watch women-centered, women produced hetero porn with her. You could find out what she finds erotic. She might even want to try a few things.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Watch women-centered, women produced hetero porn with her. You could find out what she finds erotic. She might even want to try a few things. All porn is made for men no matter who produces or directs it. 1
Author JaySonM Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Yep, she may have a ton of estrogen giving her a beautiful female figure and clear skin. However, she may lack testosterone which is the libido hormone that causes acne in females. Have you fingered her when she is hot? She should be real wet down there if she is truly horny. Otherwise, she may fake it. Furthermore, you shuld not be demanding sex. That is a turn off and not a natural thing. Sex happens naturally between loving horny couples. Alrite bro...stop talking about my gf's body. Nah, I never fingered her. I would try but she stops me. But, each try from what I felt she was ready to go, but something is holding her back. I have yet have a visual of her below the waist.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Alrite bro...stop talking about my gf's body. Nah, I never fingered her. I would try but she stops me. But, each try from what I felt she was ready to go, but something is holding her back. I have yet have a visual of her below the waist. I think Pierre is the one getting real wet down there. 1
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