redrose123 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Hey Loveshackers. I've stayed off here for a little while hoping that maybe if I didn't read about break ups or talk about mine so much then maybe it would help me move on. Well, I'm 3 months into my BU and its been almost 4 weeks NC. I'm proud of myself but I still cry every few days and I am constantly thinking about my ex. I find myself going over so many things that led up to the break up and replaying the promises and lies he told me and trying to make sense of it all. I am driving myself crazy. He broke up with me first and then came back promising to change. Well he didn't stick to his word, so a month later I initiated the BU because it had gotten to the point where he was just treating me worse each day and I knew it was what he wanted. Initially, he said he didn't want anyone else but his words were cold and I knew he was just trying to say things to appease me. Then 2 days later he told me he did want to break up. I'm having a really hard time recently because we are both on summer vacation and without school to distract me, I feel so alone. It's my first summer in 2 years without him and we always take a trip to the beach for a few days and had been planning to go this summer too. I just remember how happy we were last year when we went. I know I had to initiate the break up because if I hadn't I would just be postponing the inevitable, but I feel like because I did, it is completely my fault that I'm so heartbroken. I wanted to know that I meant more to him and that I was worth fighting for. I've also found out that he's gotten his Facebook back. I've had mine deactivated for 3 months and haven't looked at his since he's got it back but people come back and tell me that he seems to be doing good. Apparently he isn't in a new relationship though. I also saw ran into his parents the other day and they kept telling me how much they missed me and it really set me back. I don't know what to do anymore. I work with him and am in NC at work unless I have to talk to him about something work related. It's so hard though because when I look at him I still see him as the person I thought he was when we started dating. My parents say it's not normal that I'm still thinking about him this much and maybe I should get some professional help. I just don't know anymore. I feel like my heart was literally put through a blender. Thanks for reading.
Own Worst Enemy Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Only breaking contact and never seeing him again worked. You might need to change jobs? Poor you, it is aWful x
RickFox Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I don't know how old you are, but the fact that you have to see him at work doesn't make it easier. The best thing I can tell you is stop hanging on to what he was, and focus on what he became. You've still got the rose colored glasses on, take em off, face what he is, not who he was. Don't worry about the time it takes to get over him, everyone moves on at their own pace. Focus on a bunch of other things and allow yourself a certain amount of time to think of him and then push him out of your head. None of it is easy.
Author redrose123 Posted May 18, 2012 Author Posted May 18, 2012 Thanks for the replies. Im 21 and changing jobs isn't really an option because I've worked at this grocery store for 5 years now and was just recently able to finally get a position in the pharmacy. I have one year left of my undergrad and then I'll be going to pharmacy school so I just need to wait it out for a year. It just sucks though. Everytime he passes by me without looking at me, acting like im a stranger I physically feel like a knife is being pushed into my chest. I love him so much, I would have done anything for him and he knows that. Im having trouble understanding why he doesn't want me. I think I'm a good catch and I treated him so good but he's acting like he got rid of the worst thing ever
barriob Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Thanks for the replies. Im 21 and changing jobs isn't really an option because I've worked at this grocery store for 5 years now and was just recently able to finally get a position in the pharmacy. I have one year left of my undergrad and then I'll be going to pharmacy school so I just need to wait it out for a year. It just sucks though. Everytime he passes by me without looking at me, acting like im a stranger I physically feel like a knife is being pushed into my chest. I love him so much, I would have done anything for him and he knows that. Im having trouble understanding why he doesn't want me. I think I'm a good catch and I treated him so good but he's acting like he got rid of the worst thing ever Same Gere. My ex wont even give me tge tome of day to text me back :/
polish26 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 I am in the same boat as the both of you. I am 26 and work with my ex, but we had one civil conversation where I asked her to not come near me as I didn't want to see her, as it was affecting my work in a negative way. I have put myself into therapy, not because of the break up but a lot of my sessions have come full circle back to that and it has helped me realize that if someone wants you, and is worth your time, then they will be around. We are young, and we have our lives to lead. I know it is easier said than done, and we all have our bad days where the ex is always on the mind, but trust me it gets better with time. I am always available to talk to, and will try to offer any advice I can. Also, just remember that the person initiating the break up doesn't want to be in a relationship, so why would you want to be with someone like that? I know I sure don't, but it has taken me time to realize that.
Author redrose123 Posted May 18, 2012 Author Posted May 18, 2012 Do you all think it would be a good idea for me to reactivate my Facebook and just block my ex or should I stay off it for a while?
dandan89 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 I say reactivate your Facebook and just don't have him as a friend. No harm in that!
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