mandylynn Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 It's been almost two months now since I left the abusive relationship I was in and I find myself still upset, scared and not knowing what to do with myself. We were together for 7 years and it wasn't until he physically hit me that I gathered the courage to leave. For years it was a constant barrage of verbal abuse, of making me feel like anything I did wasn't good enough, that I was a whole lot of words that I should not repeat. Once, after losing my job, he even told me that I was nothing but a dried up cow with no worth and so many other things that it would take a long time to write. Now, it wasn't always bad. It sort of reminds me of Jekyl and Hyde, since when he was nice he was a good man, kind, loving and supportive but then when he got into one of his 'moods' there wasn't anything good about me. I had no friends, the friends I did make he would make it so we weren't friends anymore. I spent most of my life trying to make him happy because I was so scared of being alone and unloved. What does that say about my self-esteem? Even now I still feel worthless and unlovable although I realize that this is not true. I find that I do not want to do anything. I am really just so fed up with work and life right now and feel a form of exhaustion that I didnt know possible. I am not sure what I should do. How do I get a life back? Where do I find support? I dont really have many friends now and my family is not around so what do I do? Where do I begin when all I really want to do is crawl into a dark hole and cry? How long does it take to get better?
Hereiam007 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Have u ever thought about joining a social club. Meetup.com has many clubs to suit your interests. Sorry to hear.
Hereiam007 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Also, I know some music is relaxing and some not. It is ok what you are feeling. Have you given yourself permission to move on to the next step and have a healthy self Esteem?
CopingGal Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 Journaling is good. Finding something to do is worthwhile, like some volunteer work. Crying is good. Keep writing in the forums. They really help. You can also think about counseling as well. There are programs with sliding scales.
Isabel82 Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 It's been almost two months now since I left the abusive relationship I was in and I find myself still upset, scared and not knowing what to do with myself. We were together for 7 years and it wasn't until he physically hit me that I gathered the courage to leave. For years it was a constant barrage of verbal abuse, of making me feel like anything I did wasn't good enough, that I was a whole lot of words that I should not repeat. Once, after losing my job, he even told me that I was nothing but a dried up cow with no worth and so many other things that it would take a long time to write. Now, it wasn't always bad. It sort of reminds me of Jekyl and Hyde, since when he was nice he was a good man, kind, loving and supportive but then when he got into one of his 'moods' there wasn't anything good about me. I had no friends, the friends I did make he would make it so we weren't friends anymore. I spent most of my life trying to make him happy because I was so scared of being alone and unloved. What does that say about my self-esteem? Even now I still feel worthless and unlovable although I realize that this is not true. I find that I do not want to do anything. I am really just so fed up with work and life right now and feel a form of exhaustion that I didnt know possible. I am not sure what I should do. How do I get a life back? Where do I find support? I dont really have many friends now and my family is not around so what do I do? Where do I begin when all I really want to do is crawl into a dark hole and cry? How long does it take to get better? Im really glad for your sake that you managed to leave. It`s no wonder you feel like you do, after 7 seven years with this jekyl n hyde guy, and now you`re on your own. That kind of R is poison to the self esteem, which probably takes some time to rebuild. It`s natural to feel depressed and fatigued after breakup, and if you have dependency problems, the depression and grief can be even worse (even though the R was not a good one). You really should not spend too much time on your own now, I think. Is there anyone you can talk with or just hang out with? Have you considered therapy? What you`ve experienced and where you are now, its really hard dealing with it all by yourself.
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