Woggle Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Also if a career woman cheats she is easier to get out of your life. Many women these days are starting to owe men alimony.
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Ideally a woman should have a career. However, she should be able to take a break from work to take care of her kids when they are quite young and then return to the labor force later. There should not be a penalty for this and any man that thinks this is demeaning to a woman is a selfish and only looking for money. Its not demeaning, but she is selling herself short if she cares about her career at all. Shell be behind a lot of her peers. Thats the trade off.
FitChick Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Most men who are successful with a good income don't really care as long as the woman is happy and their relationship doesn't suffer as a result of her choice. Poorer men need that second income.
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You could still end up paying alimony. Career women out there "experiencing life" and becoming "more interesting" are more likely to cheat. Because stay at home moms never have time to cheat? Lets be real. Stay at home parents arent really in the home all day every day. And once the kids are school age, everything changes as well.Most men who are successful with a good income don't really care as long as the woman is happy and their relationship doesn't suffer as a result of her choice. Poorer men need that second income. My best friend is 25 and makes very close to 6 figures a year, and will easily make a lot more money by his 30s and he wants a career woman just like I do. Its not about a guys income really. Its about what he finds attractive in a woman. My best friends mom worked his whole life, just like my mom has...and that has a profound affect on the women we respect and find attractive.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Most men who are successful with a good income don't really care as long as the woman is happy and their relationship doesn't suffer as a result of her choice. Poorer men need that second income. Most people are in debt. Most need that second income due to their debt whether the man has a decent income or not.
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Love the optimism kid but it isn't that easy especially if you have been out of the work force and it gets worse the longer you stay out. Ah I see, you are of the opinion that all stay at home mothers are doomed if their husbands lose their jobs or leave them. We all got knocked up before graduating high school and can't even operate a cash register at McDonalds because we lack skills
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Its not demeaning, but she is selling herself short if she cares about her career at all. Shell be behind a lot of her peers. Thats the trade off. Most women do not value their careers in the same way that men do. For most of us, it is simply biology. Many of us choose that route, knowing we will lose out in terms of status, salary, prestige or whatever, because we feel being home to raise our children is worth more than any monetary value. We have a different respective. I feel I would be selling myself and my family short if I chose my salary over staying home with my baby. There is an old joke on the Simpsons, when Marge's baby book of Lisa + Bart burns in a fire, she says~ "NOooo... my baby's books! That's like what a resume is to a man!!". Not entirely inaccurate 2
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Ah I see, you are of the opinion that all stay at home mothers are doomed if their husbands lose their jobs or leave them. We all got knocked up before graduating high school and can't even operate a cash register at McDonalds because we lack skills No but the work place frowns upon stay at home mothers coming back to work or anyone who hasn't worked for awhile.
d'Arthez Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I feel I would be selling myself and my family short if I chose my salary over staying home with my baby. And if you feel that way, and have the option there is nothing wrong with that. People need to do what they feel is best for their family. That should be the only guideline in this.
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 No but the work place frowns upon stay at home mothers coming back to work or anyone who hasn't worked for awhile. Most stay at home moms worked before settling down to have kids. A lot of us have back up plans, degrees, 'fallback' careers if life goes to ****, we choose to stay at home and usually make plans to do so. If my husband lost his job today, I could have another one within a few weeks. If a girl wants to go into it with zero backup, then she's an idiot, but all of my SAHM friends are not so stupid. 2
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 And if you feel that way' date=' and have the option there is nothing wrong with that. People need to do what they feel is best for their family. That should be the only guideline in this.[/quote'] Exactly. And if guys only want a career woman, then that's fine for him. I'll never understand women who think a career is more important than staying hom with their kids and I don't care, just like they don't understand me and don't care.
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Most women do not value their careers in the same way that men do. For most of us, it is simply biology. Many of us choose that route, knowing we will lose out in terms of status, salary, prestige or whatever, because we feel being home to raise our children is worth more than any monetary value. We have a different respective. I feel I would be selling myself and my family short if I chose my salary over staying home with my baby. There is an old joke on the Simpsons, when Marge's baby book of Lisa + Bart burns in a fire, she says~ "NOooo... my baby's books! That's like what a resume is to a man!!". Not entirely inaccurate I dont really think you can speak for most women. Because where I live (NY), more women are in school than men are, and there are loads of professional gals here who dont wanna sit home all day like its the 1950s. Most girls I have met have career aspirations.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Most stay at home moms worked before settling down to have kids. A lot of us have back up plans, degrees, 'fallback' careers if life goes to ****, we choose to stay at home and usually make plans to do so. If my husband lost his job today, I could have another one within a few weeks. If a girl wants to go into it with zero backup, then she's an idiot, but all of my SAHM friends are not so stupid. Not in this job market or even when the job market was good.
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Also, I dont think its only biology either. Culture is a huge part of it, because women only in the last century were given the chance to compete with men when it came to success and what not. So before all that women were expected to stay home because its what men wanted and how we set up society, not only because of biology.
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I dont really think you can speak for most women. Because where I live (NY), more women are in school than men are, and there are loads of professional gals here who dont wanna sit home all day like its the 1950s. Most girls I have met have career aspirations. Well, I don't claim to speak for most women. But a lot of "career" women often change their minds when they settle down and start a family. When you are single and childless, you usually can't comprehend putting a career on the sidelines for kids. When a woman starts having children, her mindset changes and many of them realize that what was important to childless-them is not what is important to them as a mother. I had a university degree and made $80k/year. I hated kids and the idea that I should stay home with them (again, how I was raised). When I had my first child, and went back to work at 3 months, I hated it so much that I walked away from it (years ago) and have no regrets. Priorities change. 1
xxoo Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 In the reality of marriage and raising a family, flexibility is a huge strength. You don't really know until you are in the situation what is going to work best for your family: two working parents, one stay-home parent, or some thing in between. People lose their jobs, get sick, hate staying home when they thought they'd love it, have babies with unexpected special needs, etc. If you love each other, and have bigger shared ideals, you make it work. For the daters, my advice would be to look for someone with similar ideals, but also look for someone (and be someone) with the flexibility to handle different possible outcomes. If you can't bend, you'll break. 1
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Not in this job market or even when the job market was good. This is true. Recent grads and even people with several years work experience and good degrees are having trouble finding work. Youd be hard pressed to find any decent work making good money if youve been out of the work force for years and years. Most people would throw your resume away unless you were looking for a entry level job.
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Also, I dont think its only biology either. Culture is a huge part of it, because women only in the last century were given the chance to compete with men when it came to success and what not. So before all that women were expected to stay home because its what men wanted and how we set up society, not only because of biology. Women stayed close to the collective because they needed the collective to help raise and protect their children. It had nothing to do with what men wanted.
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Well, I don't claim to speak for most women. But a lot of "career" women often change their minds when they settle down and start a family. When you are single and childless, you usually can't comprehend putting a career on the sidelines for kids. When a woman starts having children, her mindset changes and many of them realize that what was important to childless-them is not what is important to them as a mother. I had a university degree and made $80k/year. I hated kids and the idea that I should stay home with them (again, how I was raised). When I had my first child, and went back to work at 3 months, I hated it so much that I walked away from it (years ago) and have no regrets. Priorities change. All I am saying is that many, many women enjoy having a career. And the reason that so many men dislike the idea of a stay at home mom nowadays is because it seems that the nations men are mostly being raised by working women. Mom sets examples of who a son will want as a wife, the same way dad sets examples of who his daughter will want as a husband.
bean1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Not in this job market or even when the job market was good. In what job market? Do you know my education, skill set, previous career and employer?
kaylan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Women stayed close to the collective because they needed the collective to help raise and protect their children. It had nothing to do with what men wanted. Oh really? If it wasnt about what men wanted, than why did so many men push against the womens rights movement>?
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You know, there's this awesome new thing, it's called the Internet. You can actually look up the tuition for colleges, and you can even apply to them online [iVY League ones made my eyes bleed]. What's even better is the fact that if you get in, you can actually go there to study. I know ... mindblowing. You can even look up scolarships, average wages and even calculate a sort of ROI on your college investment. Also, 60yrs ago, we had college in Romania. In fact, back then, the language to know for engineering was German and not English. So you're saying a person who websurfs about U.S. culture from a foreign country knows more about the U.S. than a person born and raised here? Unbelievable. 1
FitChick Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 People tend to forget that the Women's Movement was about a woman having choices. Saying all women should work is just as bad as saying they all should not. Couples are now allowed to figure things out on their own without outside interference or pressure. The one advantage women have today, as has already been pointed out by one poster, is that if a woman has to go back to work, unlike her mother or grandmother, she has previous work experience and a history of being self-supporting. 4
6ft180natl Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Personally I just don't want a woman who has to depend on me to take care of her financially because I really hate the idea of having someone who is with me because it is more convenient and easy instead of actually loving me for who I am. Past that as long as she can sustain herself I don't really care how much money she makes or what she does for the most part. Also when you are with someone who looks to you to take care of them financially they tend to have a warped value of money. They might be spoiled and not care about blowing tons of money on dumb things or care about being financially responsible because it all comes to them so easily. At the same time in relationships once a woman demonstrates that she is there for you and is even willing to spend her own money for you when she doesn't have to and you start to care about her then that makes you want to take care of her and give her your all financially as well. Funny how that works. 1
LittlePrince Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Oh really? If it wasnt about what men wanted, than why did so many men push against the womens rights movement>? Back then most women were against the women's rights movement. Even today most people are still against most feminist nonsense. Women today still don't venture far from their community or return shortly after and put most of their time into real life social networking so they have a support network through out their lives for them and their children. Times haven't changed.
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