Author ghgh750 Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 I have been giving it more thought and you guys are right. Paranoia does no good. I will just enjoy life and hope for the best. If a prenup or paternity test feels right, I will use it. If not, I guess I will take the risk of not having it. I just hope I do not get taken for everything I have. I was just scared because up to this point I always believed that there is someone out there for me. But I guess that is just stupid to believe. So I will just find someone I am compatible with. All this paranoid stemmed from my fear of future events. It makes me sick to my stomach to have read some of these stories while on Talk About Marriage and LoveShack. Affairs that last decades? Affairs with husband's best friends? I never experienced this and I felt extremely sad. How do you think the people suffering from this feel? I do not think I could ever recover. This is why I wanted to protect against it somehow but in doing so, I may be setting myself up for failure. There was a story on AlimonyNightmare where this man lost his home, had to pay alimony to his cheating wife, and then received a shock when his kids were not biologically his. They had been married 20+ years. What a sad story. HOW CAN SOMEONE THAT SAID THEY LOVE YOU DO THIS TO YOU? AND HOW DOES ONE KNOW THAT THEY TOO WILL NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP? I guess that is what scares me.
standtall Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 ghgh..life is full of risks and gambles...nothing ventured is nothing gained, but I can tell you this...if you let a potential mate read your OP, or if you even think about doing half of what you said in it, you will be single for a long time.
wellwhynot Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I have been giving it more thought and you guys are right. Paranoia does no good. I will just enjoy life and hope for the best. If a prenup or paternity test feels right, I will use it. If not, I guess I will take the risk of not having it. I just hope I do not get taken for everything I have. I was just scared because up to this point I always believed that there is someone out there for me. But I guess that is just stupid to believe. So I will just find someone I am compatible with. All this paranoid stemmed from my fear of future events. It makes me sick to my stomach to have read some of these stories while on Talk About Marriage and LoveShack. Affairs that last decades? Affairs with husband's best friends? I never experienced this and I felt extremely sad. How do you think the people suffering from this feel? I do not think I could ever recover. This is why I wanted to protect against it somehow but in doing so, I may be setting myself up for failure. There was a story on AlimonyNightmare where this man lost his home, had to pay alimony to his cheating wife, and then received a shock when his kids were not biologically his. They had been married 20+ years. What a sad story. HOW CAN SOMEONE THAT SAID THEY LOVE YOU DO THIS TO YOU? AND HOW DOES ONE KNOW THAT THEY TOO WILL NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP? I guess that is what scares me. Some advice for you. Stop reading here. Just go away from this site and don't look back. It's toxic for you. I'm not trying to be mean but if you are ever going to hope to have a normal relationship you need to stop obsessing about what MIGHT happen. Your list of "demands" is ridiculous and no reasonable woman would even humor the majority of them. If you are involved enough with a woman to be having making children with her then you should be trusting her enough to believe her that the baby is yours. If you can't do that you should go get a vasectomy now and when you want to have children have her artificially inseminated. I can tell you honestly if I had a husband who demanded a paternity test based on crazed paranoia he'd get one alright. I'd have it done from far, far away from him, then I'd have his mental instability documented and use it to keep him away from me and my child. You seem to care a whole lot more about money and what you might get taken for than any meaningful, caring relationship. I hope you are upfront with people about that always. I see you living a very long, very lonely life. I hope you do well enough financially that you can buy the companionship that this type of thinking will keep you from obtaining through regular relationships. I'd advise counseling. The delusional paranoia you are experiencing is already impacting potential relationships. Your behavior on your dates where you felt the need to test and manipulate them show this. Your rating system for women shows you as the egotist you are. You are either very mentally unstable and need help or you might truly be the most coldly, calculating, and frightening person I've ever had the misfortune to come across. You're young. If it's the first you have time to get help... if it's the later, you potentially still have time to change. Either way... choice is yours.
BetrayedH Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 If you couldnt realize that your relationship is in trouble before a wife cheats on you and tries to stick you with the baby, you are already in trouble. You need to do your research and find out how to satisfy a woman emotionally so that you dont have to worry about trust, you will KNOW that she will be in it with you till the end. If you dont do this research, no matter what precautions you take, you will get taken, you wont see it coming, and it will be your fault. Also, no woman is marrying you if you mention any of this paranoia, because they will all know that you do not know what youre doing in a dating dynamic. There is no research you can do to KNOW that a woman will be with you til the end. I dated my wife for 5 years before we got engaged. I didn't want for us to get married so that we would stay together; I wanted to get married because I already knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. With all of the divorces, I never wanted one. Was she irritated that I waited so long to ask her? Yep. Turns out she's the one that should have thought about it a while longer. 12 years into our marriage, I discovered that she'd had an affair going for 13 months. And I was a good husband and father. OP, you should choose wisely but there's nothing you can do to ensure jack-crap about someone else's behavior.
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