monkey00 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) So basically I just returned from a 2 week vacation yesterday. Prior to that I had gone on 2 dates with a girl and I thought we hit it off pretty well and she seemed really interested in me, I had even taken her up to my job to see my workplace and meet some co-workers. Since day one of my trip, we've been keeping touch via email daily (maybe that was a tad too much?). She has been doing a pretty good job responding to and writing responses in emails. A couple days before I returned I suggested meeting up, since it's been 2 weeks. She asked if she could let me know the day before because she's unsure with her schedule...And I had a strong hunch she would flake on me..but I said she can let me know. She said she could meet up, then a few hours later, she sent another email saying she has to cancel because of some lame excuse with having to work late the next day and asking if we can reschedule. I haven't responded yet and I feel that if I do, I'll be setting myself up for being flaked on again. Maybe the time that I was away she had met someone else, but I'll probably never know. I have no idea what she does for work or if she's even employed at all as we never talked about it. Should I give her the chance or the benefit of the doubt? Should I ask her about her job to get a clearer picture before jumping to conclusions? Edited May 17, 2012 by monkey00
USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 So basically I just returned from a 2 week vacation yesterday. Two weeks is a long time...especially if she is actively OLD'ing... She said she could meet up, then a few hours later, she sent another email saying she has to cancel because of some lame excuse with having to work late the next day and asking if we can reschedule. As a general rule, he/she who cancels reschedules...she should be suggesting the precise time and place for the reschedule...not merely suggesting that you all reschedule... Ball's in her court. The most I'd probably do is tell her to let you know when she wants to get together. 1
Million.to.1 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 2 dates, and 2 weeks of emailing everyday... and you don't know what she does for a job?!.. or if she even has one?!? Hmmmmm. Do as Chokie suggests and txt back saying she should pick a time to catch up then. If she flakes again, you have your answer.
Radu Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I'd send her a message like 'well, when you get some time let me know'. Put the meeting into her hands, she flaked so she has to come up with alternatives. PS: Always have a backup plan for a date if she flakes or is very late. Don't let her disrespect your time.
Emilia Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 She has been doing a pretty good job responding to and writing responses in emails. Did she initiate any of this? A couple days before I returned I suggested meeting up, since it's been 2 weeks. She asked if she could let me know the day before because she's unsure with her schedule...And I had a strong hunch she would flake on me..but I said she can let me know. She said she could meet up, then a few hours later, she sent another email saying she has to cancel because of some lame excuse with having to work late the next day and asking if we can reschedule. To be honest I wouldn't bother. If a guy said yes to my suggestion only to cancel on me a few hours later because of work... I'd probably leave any further correspondence unanswered. If he phoned me and explained it like that, that would be different. But I'm guessing it wasn't what she did. So from me it's a no
Author monkey00 Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Thanks for the advice, I wrote back to her and she said she might have some time this weekend or early next week and that she'll let me know. Guess I'll have to see what happens.
SJC2008 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Funny how hunches turn out to be true. I had a hunch last fri that my date was gonna flake (never met, old) and she did. I think you made to much contact with her and shouldn't of took her up to your job. Too much too soon IMO and she may be thinking you're acting like she's her gf already. If you don't hear from her let it be but I hope you do hear back good luck!
TheFinalWord Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 So basically I just returned from a 2 week vacation yesterday. Prior to that I had gone on 2 dates with a girl and I thought we hit it off pretty well and she seemed really interested in me, I had even taken her up to my job to see my workplace and meet some co-workers. Since day one of my trip, we've been keeping touch via email daily (maybe that was a tad too much?). She has been doing a pretty good job responding to and writing responses in emails. A couple days before I returned I suggested meeting up, since it's been 2 weeks. She asked if she could let me know the day before because she's unsure with her schedule...And I had a strong hunch she would flake on me..but I said she can let me know. She said she could meet up, then a few hours later, she sent another email saying she has to cancel because of some lame excuse with having to work late the next day and asking if we can reschedule. I haven't responded yet and I feel that if I do, I'll be setting myself up for being flaked on again. Maybe the time that I was away she had met someone else, but I'll probably never know. I have no idea what she does for work or if she's even employed at all as we never talked about it. Should I give her the chance or the benefit of the doubt? Should I ask her about her job to get a clearer picture before jumping to conclusions? Yeah, the job thing was too soon. How can you not know what she does for a living? That's kind of strange as that seems like common first/second date stuff to talk about. Just say "yeah we can re-schedule. Let me know when you have a date in mind." and leave it at that. Don't set it up; she is the one changing her mind. If she's interested, she'll set something up. If not, then you know she's a flake and not to bring a girl you just met to your job. What if she's psycho? I wouldn't want her to know how to find me
Sid6.7 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 The ball is in her court, as another posted mentioned. Followed later by a post suggesting to her can we reschedule. Sir, the ball is in your court. You are the one to determine if there is a time to reschedule. I don't know about you but my time is valuable and her time is no more valuable than mine. One sentence is all that needs to be said; How are you going to make this up to me? If a reasonable answer isn't provided you bounce that ball out of her court and proceed on to the next. You don't have time for this, you are in high demand. Right?
snowflakes88 Posted May 18, 2012 Posted May 18, 2012 If I went on 2 dates with a man and he never bothered to ask what I do or if I even work, I wouldn't be jumping at the opportunity to go out with him again either.
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