edwards99 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 after a second chance my moodyness based on irrational thoughts have destroyed my relatiinship once again. i want to die...i tried for days to change her mind..telling her i would get help..change whatever..tried to get her to see it was not a good choice..but to no result..i am so depressed..for months its been getting worse..failure upon failure..i love her..n its gone..n i dont know how to handle it anymore
blotter Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You put the cart before the horse. You need to work these things out BEFORE you get into relationships. 2
hinatticus Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Correctomundo! That's what I'm trying as we speak.
trist Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 ed, ed, ed... initially, i felt a little sympathy for your situation... i thought to myself, wow, here's a guy who knows what he's doing wrong, and it is his second chance after all... so i clicked on your name to get the specifics of your relationship... DUDE... this is NOT your second chance... this is probably your 15th chance, that we know of... and your issues that you have with the girl that's progressed from gf, to fiancé to wife??!! you would literally flip out if she decided one morning to put her left sock on before her right sock... the morning before you saw her put the right one on first, so she MUST be cheating... you FOLLOWED your wife when she was driving two family members home... she changes her clothes and you think she's cheating... she forgot to change her Facebook status from SINGLE to whatever the hell the opposite of single is on Facebook, and you think she's cheating... you saw a picture she had of her ex before you, WAY back when she didn't even know your dna even existed on planet earth, and you think she's cheating... i could literally go on and on and on... your wife, she deserves a medal for transgressing from gf, to fiancé to wife with you... i don't mean to sound harsh but who in their right mind would want to live in an environment like that?? it's beyond possessive... and honestly, i think you might have some really DEEP issues you need to work out... professionally... i wish you the best of luck, but you need to help yourself before you can even think about chance number 16...
KatZee Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 after a second chance my moodyness based on irrational thoughts have destroyed my relatiinship once again. i want to die...i tried for days to change her mind..telling her i would get help..change whatever..tried to get her to see it was not a good choice..but to no result..i am so depressed..for months its been getting worse..failure upon failure..i love her..n its gone..n i dont know how to handle it anymore I don't want to be harsh here, but you didn't really expect that in the course of "days" that you were really changed did you? Insecurities and irrational behavior and moodiness does NOT change in days. It can take months, if not years to fully address the underlying reasons why you're insecure, and why you then act irrational. Until you fully get to the root of that, you won't change. You can't change. Someone else already said it. You can't put the cart before the horse. You need to work on yourself, and yourself only. You cannot give yourself fully to this relationship in any healthy manner until you work on yourself. You also can't put your happiness in the hands of someone else. It's exhausting and it's too much pressure for the other person. You allow HER to dictate how happy you are, whether you think you fail or succeed in life... everything is just focused around her and the relationship. That's extremely unhealthy. You need to have a full, rounded, and happy life... aside from her. She is not your world, she should be the icing on top. It sounds like you would benefit greatly from talking to a therapist, perhaps medication if your depression is severe enough. You also need to just break from this relationship right now. You can't make someone else happy when you're not happy with yourself. If any change is going to happen, it will be months down the line. Not now. Focus on yourself.
hinatticus Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) Go read Ed's other threads he started. Some of them are down right funny. Not in a bad way but I dunno funny. You seriously need to go to counseling dude. Questioning discharge? Fb? Question why your wife has her eyes closed during sex? Wow. Trist is right. Edited May 17, 2012 by hinatticus
KatZee Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I did read the other threads. And threads from as far back as 2010 state "second chance!" It's now 2012. You're not in your second chance. You're in your 50th chance at this point, and honestly I only think "second chances" are legit if you've actually broken up and spent significant time apart. Having a huge fight and then asking for a second chance isn't a second chance. It's you just bargaining and that's one of the stages of grief. "If I change this we can work and we can stay together." You're denying that this relationship is failing and grasping at straws here. I don't see this relationship being particularly satisfying to either of you, least of all her, who is on the receiving end of your dysfunctional behavior. I'm quite amazed she's stayed as long as she has, honestly. There is no foundation or strength here. You both need to completely separate and go your own ways for a while. You need HELP. Seriously. This is not something that you will fix on your own. You need therapy, medication, support groups, the whole 9. There is no way on earth you will be able to fix yourself while being in such a dysfunctional relationship.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Dude, I'm the first to admit, I'm insecure. I'm emotional. I probably think to much when it comes to what my gf (now ex) was thinking....but you make me look totally normal.
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