Badsingularity Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 The Title should read "Bad ADVICE men receive before getting married." Anyway, here it is. "Just say yes dear" "just remember, a happy wife equals a happy life" "she is always right" "just say yes to whatever she says" This is some of the advice I received from other men when they found out I was getting married. I cringed every time I heard it. I knew that they meant well, but I also knew following that advice was the worst thing I could do. It is the worst advice you could give to any man about to get married. To follow this advice would be to ensure a unhappy relationship between a man and his wife. It is sad, because it just goes to show how confused many men are and how little they understand women. So I will counter this advice with some good advice for a man about to get married. 1. Your wife will not always be right. Just like you are not always right. When she is wrong about something do not back down and tell her she is right just because you want the argument to go away or she is mad at you. 2. Do not let your wife treat you badly or talk to you in a disrespectful manner. Calmly let her know that as long as you treat her with respet you expect the same in return. Many men would be shocked by their wifes reaction to this. She may be mad a first, but give her a little space and time and she will probably approach you with an apology and love. Women want their man to stand up for himself even if she is the one he is standing up to. This advice could actually go both ways, but it as advice that many men need to hear because most people will be telling them the exact opposite wich will only lead to an unhappy relationship for both the man and his wife. and ofcourse.....If your wife has been treating you well and with respect treat her with the same and do not be afraid to show her affection and how much you love her.
xxoo Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 The Title should read "Bad ADVICE men receive before getting married." Anyway, here it is. "Just say yes dear" "just remember, a happy wife equals a happy life" "she is always right" "just say yes to whatever she says" One of these things is not like the other... I agree with the "happy wife is a happy life". Good advice for wives, too (know your husband's needs, and meet them as best you can).
Author Badsingularity Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 One of these things is not like the other... I agree with the "happy wife is a happy life". Good advice for wives, too (know your husband's needs, and meet them as best you can). I almost left that one off, because it's not totally untrue when you think about it, but I was told that by the same people telling me "just say yes to whatever she says", so it got caught in the crossfire. Also, many men think that the way to keep their wife happy is to do whatever she says and to agree with whatever she says even if she is wrong.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I was so excited to learn what bad men receive before getting married … disappointment!
Author Badsingularity Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 I was so excited to learn what bad men receive before getting married … disappointment! lol. Some bad men receive a lot before they get married, but that's for another thread:cool:
Radu Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) The Title should read "Bad ADVICE men receive before getting married." Anyway, here it is. "Just say yes dear" "just remember, a happy wife equals a happy life" "she is always right" "just say yes to whatever she says" This is some of the advice I received from other men when they found out I was getting married. I cringed every time I heard it. I knew that they meant well, but I also knew following that advice was the worst thing I could do. It is the worst advice you could give to any man about to get married. To follow this advice would be to ensure a unhappy relationship between a man and his wife. It is sad, because it just goes to show how confused many men are and how little they understand women. So I will counter this advice with some good advice for a man about to get married. 1. Your wife will not always be right. Just like you are not always right. When she is wrong about something do not back down and tell her she is right just because you want the argument to go away or she is mad at you. 2. Do not let your wife treat you badly or talk to you in a disrespectful manner. Calmly let her know that as long as you treat her with respet you expect the same in return. Many men would be shocked by their wifes reaction to this. She may be mad a first, but give her a little space and time and she will probably approach you with an apology and love. Women want their man to stand up for himself even if she is the one he is standing up to. This advice could actually go both ways, but it as advice that many men need to hear because most people will be telling them the exact opposite wich will only lead to an unhappy relationship for both the man and his wife. and ofcourse.....If your wife has been treating you well and with respect treat her with the same and do not be afraid to show her affection and how much you love her. The bolded part is gold, and i honestly believe it comes or was enhanced by the entitlement that followed feminism of last generation. If you don't do this, she will gradually lose respect for you ... there will be no difference between you and a Welcome mat. I remember that with my 1st gf who did some horrible egobusting things to me, when i actually got my spine upwards and said something her reaction was 'you're a mysoginist' ... this was the woman who spent 30min belittling me in public for really no reason other than wanting to look good to her gf's while i had an engagement ring in my pocket. This works even better if your mentality is not one of scarcity, do not think 'omg, she has tons of options ... whatever happens i must make sure i don't make her upset'. Edited May 17, 2012 by Radu
RiverRunning Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Does anyone give this advice SERIOUSLY? I can say that I've heard all of these phrases probably hundreds of times in my life - but always facetiously. I have never heard someone say them. I'm willing to bet that most folks who hear it misinterpret it as serious but playful advice. And yes, I've seen many marriages played by these rules, but no healthy ones. An egalitarian approach of, "You'll be right sometimes, she won't, and vice versa," in all aspects of a relationship, is the kind of advice I'd say most people are willing to receive.
Author Badsingularity Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 And yes, I've seen many marriages played by these rules, but no healthy ones. That's my point. Some people do give this advice seriously and they are the same people that are stuck in unhappy marriages and don't understand why. To them they are just doing everything they can to make their spouse happy.
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