Squishy_Belle Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 After speaking with a friend today and having a little cry i am wondering if it is time i go and see a psychologist. I haven't been to any type of counceling since i left my husband and even though i feel im doing pretty good im feeling so sad right now and have realised that the emotional abuse he put me through has effected me a lot. I have noticed how i feel so emotionally cut off when meeting people. I just feel judged all the time and dont know how to take people at all because im so scared of being hurt again. I have had a lot going on in my life since i left my stbxh 7 months ago. I've tried staying busy and started working out and just trying everything to keep my mind of it all but now i am wondering if i have actually given myself enough time to hurt and get over what has happend or if i was just blocking it out and now that i have started the divorce process it is all becoming so real? I work full time but i dread my days off when my friends are busy because i get so sad. I can't get over the fact that he has been seing someone since i left..it hurts so much. Shall i just deal with it all because its normal or should i go and speak to someone?
lovinglife21 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Personally I think therapy is great. I study psychology though so I'm probably biased. If you feel you need it, go. What helped me the most was CBT which teaches you how to deal with hard situations, so when you experience them in the future you can cope better. It's very empowering and makes you feel much more control IMHO. xx
Mr Scorpio Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 If you have insurance that will help cover the cost of therapy, it is certainly worth a try. In my experience, you will only get out of therapy what you put into it. In other words, you must be open and honest with your therapist. Furthermore, sometimes you must take control. For example, if you are hurting because of the split from your husband, than talking about whether or not your parents loved you enough might not be relevant, and therefore not worth the time and/or money involved. Otherwise, if you are a "bookish" person, I'm sure the fine folks here can recommend a vast litany of self-help literature to help fill the time when you aren't working and your friends are busy.
ToyWithMe812 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 After speaking with a friend today and having a little cry i am wondering if it is time i go and see a psychologist. I haven't been to any type of counceling since i left my husband and even though i feel im doing pretty good im feeling so sad right now and have realised that the emotional abuse he put me through has effected me a lot. I have noticed how i feel so emotionally cut off when meeting people. I just feel judged all the time and dont know how to take people at all because im so scared of being hurt again. I have had a lot going on in my life since i left my stbxh 7 months ago. I've tried staying busy and started working out and just trying everything to keep my mind of it all but now i am wondering if i have actually given myself enough time to hurt and get over what has happend or if i was just blocking it out and now that i have started the divorce process it is all becoming so real? I work full time but i dread my days off when my friends are busy because i get so sad. I can't get over the fact that he has been seing someone since i left..it hurts so much. Shall i just deal with it all because its normal or should i go and speak to someone? Try and concentrate on one thing, why You left him. Remember that, you left him. Remember why you did. Why? because you didn't want to be treated like that any longer. I think you are searching, honestly. I don't think you need therapy (well, I might say that all women do, but that is/or should be common knowledge). Let me tell you something, you could always try getting addicted to this site and trying to help other people along the way with your knowledge, no matter how trivial. Honestly, if you think you need it, and can afford it, go for it. But if not, stick it out here, close the facebook and vent here, no harm done.
ToyWithMe812 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 If you have insurance that will help cover the cost of therapy, it is certainly worth a try. In my experience, you will only get out of therapy what you put into it. In other words, you must be open and honest with your therapist. Furthermore, sometimes you must take control. For example, if you are hurting because of the split from your husband, than talking about whether or not your parents loved you enough might not be relevant, and therefore not worth the time and/or money involved. Otherwise, if you are a "bookish" person, I'm sure the fine folks here can recommend a vast litany of self-help literature to help fill the time when you aren't working and your friends are busy. Let me piggyback on that. Don't read it just because it is self improvement, etc. Read it because you enjoy it, i.e. it enthralls or captivates you, keeps your interest, whatever. Try reading The Long Walk by Stephen King, it may give you the same satisaction and insight, seriously. Reading is a distraction and something that should give you enjoyment, pleasure. Just saying read something you have always wanted to, watch a flick you have always wanted to. I can recommend many, but chicks may not like Big Wednesday...there is always Thelma and Louise. Being able to get through one without texting or other interference, i.e. memories of "douche/evil witch," you are on your way.
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