alldayeveryday Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Been seeing a guy a few months- got intimate real fast. Went on a few dates but confined mostly to the bedroom. He would have me sleep over, and all around felt like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship from the beginning. He's very affectionate would do sweet things, so he never felt like it was just sex. He had to leave for work for a couple of months. He keep in contact almost everyday, although brief conversations as our time difference is way off. I brought up the "relationship- what are we" talk a couple of times now, he feels like it is best discussed when he comes back home. One time he asked me what I wanted and that I had a say...but again said we'd establish it when he gets back. What do you guys think? Is a few months definitive to knowing if you want to be with someone or not? If he's just in it for sex, why is he doing things thats indicative that he has feelings for me (He has mentioned to me a few times that he has feelings for me) ? If he is trying to bypass the relationship questions why can't he just come clean and say exactly what it is for him? I need advice please!
pteromom Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 If he's just in it for sex, why is he doing things thats indicative that he has feelings for me (He has mentioned to me a few times that he has feelings for me) ? It's possible that he DOES have feelings for you and he STILL doesn't want a "serious" relationship. The two aren't mutually exclusive. It's not like if he just wanted sex, he'd throw his clothes on, leave the moment he finishes, and never talk to you otherwise. He's a human, and he gets something from connecting, being affectionate, having a friend, etc. If he really really cares about you, you'll see it in his actions - he'll be excited to talk to you; he'll truly listen when you are talking; he'll want you to be secure and happy with him. I would wait for him to get back, and have the conversation. See what happens. No need to rush things...
Author alldayeveryday Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Thanks for the input! I know it is off putting to having someone rush, or repeatedly bring it up once it has been established that the talk WILL happen. I guess you can say I'm impatient....but yes sometimes we would talk and he would seem there, conscious and excited for conversation. Other times..not so much. I whole heartedly agree that he might not know whether or not he wants a serious relationship as well. He said he isn't the type to make fast decisions especially when it involves the heart. But its been months since we first started dating so i really don't know if its an excuse or not. Thanks though! Very much appreciated
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