Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I met this super great guy who is ten years older than me a month or so ago. He gave me his number and we have kept in contact ever since. We have been more flirtatious lately, but I don't want to be naive about this. Is it smart or not, I mean, I think if we continue like this I could definitely fall for him. He seems to have good intentions... What are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Don't get pregnant. That is all. If heartache is going to happen, it will, whether he's 28 or not. You're 18, you should be playing around enjoying life. If he's serious, he should be the one worried. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Thanks, I feel better now...he does seem pretty serious about it and I dont think I'm ready for anything serious yet...we'll see though. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Off topic, but I really like the new pic fishtaco. Qqqwww, I'd have to agree. I was 16 when I met my H. He was 22. We're both 23 and 28 now and no kids. We got a lot of flack about the age difference but I couldn't imagine dating someone my age back then since I've always felt more mature. Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Egh, I would watch out for this guy. He's almost 30 and he's a chasing a young woman who's not even old enough to drink yet? I don't mean any disrespect to you at all. But the previous poster is right. You should be enjoying yourself, choosing/focusing on a career or college. Not giving your life to someone who probably some problems with his own. Those are my thoughts on this. Link to post Share on other sites
mtber75 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Not enough info to go by...Your only 18 so you should play the field more. and don't get pregnant! Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Off topic, but I really like the new pic fishtaco. Thanks! I went to those family picture places at the mall the other day and had this taken. I look fat. Link to post Share on other sites
The Humbler Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I don't know you and I don't know him, but coming from a guy who loves banging younger girls Ill tell you this much, it's only about the sex. What else could it be about? What life experience or intellectual maturity does an 18 year old kid have that would be appealing to a 28 year old man? You may think you're all that and a bag of chips in the brains/personality department but, trust me, when you're 28 you'll look back and shudder at how little you know now. Hey, I could be wrong. Maybe he's just one of those rare 28 year old men who are into Bieber, MTV and drinking in the park so his parents don't catch him. Maybe he likes the idea of having to make sure his date "eats all her veggies". Ask yourself this, if mister wonderful is truly into you would he take you to an office/ work related function as his date? Would he invite to thanksgiving dinner with his family? It's about the sex sweetheart...if you're cool with that then go for it. Older guys rock in the sack Link to post Share on other sites
Author Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 I hate Beiber, don't watch MTV, and don't need to sneak alcohol at the park as I can drink at home. That being said, I see what you are saying and I might just see him once more and end it, because I know deep in my heart that this could never go anywhere, and I refuse to be used for sex. So thanks for the responses. Link to post Share on other sites
The Humbler Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I refuse to be used for sex... See that will change...by the time you're 28 you're spirit will be broken, you'll have given up any notion of romantic love and you'll gladly accept the attention that comes with being used for sex by any sleazebag man who tells you you're pretty. Welcome to grown up land Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 See that will change...by the time you're 28 you're spirit will be broken, you'll have given up any notion of romantic love and you'll gladly accept the attention that comes with being used for sex by any sleazebag man who tells you you're pretty. Welcome to grown up land Lol, awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) Ten years difference is usually not meaningful, EXCEPT . . . for folks in their late teens and early twenties. The problem that happens in that age range is the maturity issue. Strangely, it's not always the younger person. In more cases than you'd expect, it's the older person who ends up being the immature one and they see out younger partners for that reason. If the younger party is more mature for their age and the older party is close to the appropriate level of maturity, it can work. In almost every other scenario, it won't. I had a recent run around with a younger woman, who frankly, turned out to not even be close to mature enough for her age (21). In those cases, that decade(ish) age difference can be downright frustrating. I have also been the younger party with a less mature older woman. That was almost comical. And I've been the younger party with a very collected older woman. That was probably the best relationship, at least emotionally, I've had in my life. Is it worth a try? A lot of that depends on you. If you have reasonable confidence that you're mature enough, I'd say give it go, but keep an eye out for issues. Edited May 16, 2012 by insertnamehere Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Go for it if no red flags. Baby steps, use them. Watch out for future red flags. 10yr age difference is not so much, but stop saying you are mature enough pls. There is a thread on this page about a 19yr old girl who is dating a 39yr old man with a 17yr old son who also claims maturity ... you will get a lot of ppl chuckling at this word. Go read it, it will help you. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 See that will change...by the time you're 28 you're spirit will be broken, you'll have given up any notion of romantic love and you'll gladly accept the attention that comes with being used for sex by any sleazebag man who tells you you're pretty. Welcome to grown up land She's not serious anyway, maybe she's using him for sex. It's all good as long as you get what you want out of it. So I wouldn't worry about it. Go with the flow. If you're enjoying yourself, and you don't have improper expectations, then I don't see what the big deal is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Radu, I never said or implied that I am mature, and haha, no I am not using him for sex! Link to post Share on other sites
nessaaa Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 they are still immature and stupid at that age, just like an 18 yr. no difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 And insertnamehere, you may just be right about this, him being immature... Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I hate Beiber, don't watch MTV, and don't need to sneak alcohol at the park as I can drink at home. That being said, I see what you are saying and I might just see him once more and end it, because I know deep in my heart that this could never go anywhere, and I refuse to be used for sex. So thanks for the responses. I thought he was the one who had the greater expectations. If he's good in bed and you enjoy the sex, can you me how are you being used? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Qqqwww Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Wth, I never said I've slept with him, I simply said that if indeed he does only want me for sex, I going to get out before he pressures me. Link to post Share on other sites
Rahstyles Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 You kknow what.. Forget what all these people are saying... Playing around play the field.. I guess these dudes wanna date sombody loose.. Shyt.. the less she people my girl had sex with the better for me.. I dont want some loose punani.. Dont be playing around flirting and shyt with a buncha guys.. And who cares if she cant drink yet.. Shyt theres other things to do besides getting drunk and cheating or your bf/gf feel me? Link to post Share on other sites
DjinnAgain Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 10 years is not generally a lot. I regularly date 10 years older and have... I met my ex husband around your age with an 11 year difference... BUT I am going to say - there are men who take advantage of that. You are going to grow a lot from 18 to 25, say. There are men who see 18 year olds as more malleable from the more experienced age they are at - and this could be bad. (Especially if you are from a more confused background with abuse or something of the sort) So eyes open, otherwise it's okay. I'd say many of my friends have age differences similar - and some met while she was 18-20. They have been married 10-20 years. (Though that goes to the point that you should be damn sure on the quality of the relationship before getting into a serious age-difference relationship at 18-23 or so because you change a lot... and if the person is not also changing with you, that can be very hard on a relationship.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) And insertnamehere, you may just be right about this, him being immature... I have a niece who I raised like a daughter. When she was sixteen was dating a 21 y.o. (illegal in many states, yes, I know, but ya gotta muddle through things with teens rather than going to war). What always killed me with this guy is that he was less mature than most of the guys her own age. Couldn't hold down a job even delivering pizza. Was the most inept drug dealer I ever met in my life. His family wouldn't talk to him. It took her forever to figure out the kid was an utter ****-up. Happiest day of my life was when she told me to make him stop calling using whatever means necessary . Until she met her soon-to-be husband -- I'm not a religious man, but I pray for this kid every time I think of him -- all of her boyfriends were like two to five years older than her and every one of them was painfully immature. Her current beau is only a year older and has his **** together. Edited May 19, 2012 by insertnamehere Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hey, QQQwww, Be aware that it is perfectly right, and perfectly normal that the attention of an older guy would tend to feel very flattering in many/most cases, from the standpoint of the younger woman. At the same time, it is typically/often a very negative sign about the character OF the older male, that he is dipping soooooooooo low in terms of the age of a romantic prospect. SO, almost needless to say, you can surely see how difficult it can be to extracate a young and smitten woman from such a scenario. (it is soooooooooo tough to see a guy objectively while at the same time feeling so flattered by his attention) And of course mere age numbers alone aren't a sure sign of doom for such a pairing, which only complicates matters. It's just that, if you are playing the percentages, it wouldn't be your best option. Link to post Share on other sites
HallowedBeThyName Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 (edited) 28 year old dating an 18 year old to me is much is much worse than say a 35 year old dating a 25 year old You're an 18 year old girl, you're not really even an adult yet. You're about to go to college and he's a grown man who should be looking to settle down and get married soon There are so many red flags here that I'm not sure where to begin Edited May 22, 2012 by HallowedBeThyName Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I dated a 28 yr old when I was 19-- we would have been perfect for each but I was too young to realize. He even contacted me a couple months ago -- I don't want to hurt him so I decided I wouldn't give it a next go. However that is just me. My recent ex was 27 when we started dating and I was 19. I ended that because of others reason outside of his age -- two years later(now) we tried again, I am pretty sure my age and our different stages in life encouraged him to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
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