newmoon Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) i work with my bf - we're in the same office and usually have lunch together outside in a park. we haven't been communicating well lately and have gone 4 days now with no type of contact (power struggle, as he doesn't want to reach out first and neither do i, and we're not even in a fight or anything, we just are both not wanting to seem emotionally weak towards the other person). anyway, yesterday i decided to break the ice and talk with him during lunch, but when i went to 'our' spot in the park he was there with another female coworker, one that weighs about 200 pounds more than me and is 17 years younger than him (i am 10 years younger than him). despite the fact i look like a model and am far more attractive than him in our pairing, i still get jealous and often don't feel wanted enough :-( it makes me feel upset to be jealous over another woman, and it makes me mad that he would so quickly take someone to our lunch spot just because we aren't talking right now. i lose faith in men when stuff like this happens, because men show how easily they will replace you and how little they care about our female emotions. i don't want to even mention to him that i was upset he was having lunch with this other girl because it makes me look petty and jealous and yet if i don't say anything it's like telling him he can have female company and i won't care. if anyone can offer advise on whether to mention this to him the next time we talk (or not mention it), and just advice on how to control jealousy in general. i don't want to be that way and work very hard to control it, but i am often not successful and withdraw emotionally when i feel jealous and remain quiet instead. oh, and he doesn't know i saw them - i saw them and just turned away before they noticed me. Edited May 16, 2012 by newmoon add info.
FrustratedStandards Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Hmmm... I don't know what to tell you. The fact that you guys don't want to talk to each other to not seem "emotionally weak" tells me your relationship is really immature, and that's probably why you result in feeling jealous. If you guys didn't act so childish you wouldn't be feeling this way. I say fix the relationship and these emotions will go away (if it's true that you aren't the jealous type and only feel this way now).
Krytie TV Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 The best way to deal with jealousy is to find someone who is emotionally mature enough to understand what jealousy is, where it comes from, and what behaviors contribute to it. This is not the definitive fix, but it sure as hell goeas a long way. Ultimately, jealousy typically develops from a situation in which it is valid, such as a relationship that is not emotionally strong. 1
Recommended Posts