For The Guys That Weren't Intially Attracted To A Woman

[Els]

Of course. Men don't all find the same things beautiful. And I find that a woman who carries herself a certain way will be beautiful even if she doesn't fit a conventionally attractive ideal.

 

Intelligence, mystique, creativity and hidden depths of passion and personal power in a woman is the biggest turn on for me.

 

Yeah, the guys I've dated usually mentioned that they felt attracted to me pretty early into the interaction, like on Day 1 of meeting. But I don't think it's fair to immediately assume that when a guy says that, he necessarily means 'physically'. As ThaWholigan, D'Arthez, and co mentioned, this isn't always the case. Many things contribute to attraction, I think, and while they're not often apparent on first sight, they're apparent quickly enough, often during the first interaction. So that does count as 'initial attraction' IMO.

[Negative Nancy]

Sometimes that is really really really hard to see. Especially when you stand back and observe how a lot of men seem to act with certain women.

 

Exactly. I think a lot of men are REALLY unhappy with the women they had to settle for, so never listen to what men say, watch how they act. Because they may mumble all the correct platitudes about the virtues of their girlfriends/wives...but watch their faces closely when you place them near a young, really hot well stacked woman. They look like wolves who haven't been fed in a week. That tells you all you need to know

 

For a lot of men things like a good personality and a giving nature are things they can find with pretty much any woman. Perky tits, a tight ass and a young pretty face trump all from what I've seen over the years. There actually was a study done where average men married to average women were shown pictures of Playboy centerfold models - and were then asked to rate their partner's level of attractiveness...needless to say, after each round the men rated their partners lower and lower.

 

Never trust men.

Edited May 16, 2012 by Negative Nancy

[Woggle]

Exactly. I think a lot of men are REALLY unhappy with the women they had to settle for, so never listen to what men say, watch how they act. Because they may mumble all the correct platitudes about the virtues of their girlfriends/wives...but watch their faces closely when you place them near a young, really hot well stacked woman. They look like wolves who haven't been fed in a week. That tells you all you need to know

 

For a lot of men things like a good personality and a giving nature are things they can find with pretty much any woman. Perky tits, a tight ass and a young pretty face trump all from what I've seen over the years. There actually was a study done where average men married to average women were shown pictures of Playboy centerfold models - and were then asked to rate their partner's level of attractiveness...needless to say, after each round the men rated their partners lower and lower.

 

Never trust men.

 

And women aren't the same way. How many women do you hear that are miserable because they settled for a good guy they are just physically attracted to? Put George Clooney in front of a group of married women and see how they react.

[Els]

Woggle and NN, I swear the two of you must be fraternal twins or soulmates or something.

[truth_seeker]

But after spending time with her, you found her more attractive...what was it that made you see her more attractively? The more specific you can be the better. I am just curious as to what things touch a man's heart.

 

This has happened to me twice. One girl was chasing me and I just laughed her off. Then, suddenly, one day I looked at her and fell for her. I started to chase her. Once I made a move and asked her out, she laughed at me.

 

The other girl I didn't find really attractive at all. She made a push to get my attention and I ignored her. I found out through a friend that she was a nice girl and share a lot of common interests like myself. It totally changed my opinion of her. I immediately was attracted to her. I started to make moves but she flaked on me.

 

As I've gotten older, I've become more drawn to women who I can talk to and feel comfortable with than ones that are just good looking. Bad attitudes, flaky behavior make my stomach churn. A woman who is generally happy and fun to be around, and I can open up to, just makes me melt.

[xxoo]

I'd rather spend as much time as I can to nurture my soul' date=' and deepen my understanding of life. Before anyone thinks I am a typical starving artist, I have worked in an office job for years for an advocacy organisation which tries to improve society, and has been fairly successful at that. Both the "improving society" aspect as well as learning through my job were very important to me. [b']My work makes me a better human being.[/b]

 

That's something that I'm attracted to in a man, too. The amt of money doesn't matter much (as long as he can live within his means--and creativity is enormously helpful there!). The passion he brings to his work, and the way that his work fits into his overall passion for making a difference, large or small, is very attractive.

 

This is an ideal, of course. I respect any man or woman who works any low-passion job to support his or her family.

Edited May 16, 2012 by xxoo

[Professor X]

Can you think of a specific woman you dated where this happened Professor X?

 

Yeah, all of them except for one. That one exception was gorgeous before we got into a RS, during and after.

 

One of those who got me with her personality was just average looking - Curvy/fat, Dumbo'ish ears, had some problem with her upper teeth (they were flat as if they were pushed back). Nonetheless, the closer we got the prettier she became. All I remember of her now is that she was a goddess.

[TheBigQuestion]

Wit, humor, the sharing of common hobbies, and an overall affectionate demeanor are qualities that enhance a woman's attractiveness to an exceptional degree. However, if I didn't find a woman at least somewhat physically attractive in the first place, her personality didn't make all that much of a difference. I know there are some people who claim they can find someone physically unattractive and then have them turn into goddesses after getting to know them, but this is relatively uncommon.

[ThaWholigan]

Wit, humor, the sharing of common hobbies, and an overall affectionate demeanor are qualities that enhance a woman's attractiveness to an exceptional degree. However, if I didn't find a woman at least somewhat physically attractive in the first place, her personality didn't make all that much of a difference. I know there are some people who claim they can find someone physically unattractive and then have them turn into goddesses after getting to know them, but this is relatively uncommon.

I think it all depends on the individual's personal definition of what is physically attractive and how broad or narrow that may be.

[Els]

I think it all depends on the individual's personal definition of what is physically attractive and how broad or narrow that may be.

 

Yeah, precisely it. To me, the guy's appearance did have to be 'not beyond saving' (I know, that's a horrible way to put it ), but to me, that was a huge range. By my estimates (no, I don't have any peer-reviewed studies supporting these statistics, only apt powers of observation!), probably 95% of men +-10 years away from my age, satisfy those physical requirements. Only about 1-5% have what it takes in other aspects to make themselves exceptional in my eyes though, and I make no apologies for that. I have also been very lucky to find a few of them and have them reciprocate the feeling.

[gaius]

There was this one girl who wasn't my type, but she was dating some guy I hated. He was really into her too. The dynamic of her picking me over him was just too arousing to resist. She still pops into my mind on occasion.

[Feelsgoodman]

But after spending time with her, you found her more attractive...what was it that made you see her more attractively? The more specific you can be the better. I am just curious as to what things touch a man's heart.

Depends on the reason I wasn't attracted to her at first. If it was lack of physical attraction, nothing can change that. However, there were a few times I didn't like a girl at first because of how she came across and later changed my mind. To use one specific example, there was one girl I thought had a really boring personality but as I got to know her better it became clear she was just shy.

[zengirl]

I think it all depends on the individual's personal definition of what is physically attractive and how broad or narrow that may be.

 

Right, I think it's more often someone becomes infatuated with someone they didn't notice or feel particularly drawn to than someone becomes attracted to someone they find truly unappealing.

[LittlePrince]

But after spending time with her, you found her more attractive...what was it that made you see her more attractively? The more specific you can be the better. I am just curious as to what things touch a man's heart.

Never happened. Simply a fantasy of beta and omega females.

[musemaj11]

Personality can indeed create love out of nothing over time.

 

This is why office affairs often occur. After spending so much time together everyday, its hard not to develop some emotional bonding with your opposite sex co-workers.