Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 But after spending time with her, you found her more attractive...what was it that made you see her more attractively? The more specific you can be the better. I am just curious as to what things touch a man's heart. 3
Professor X Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Kindness, intelligent, humor, passion (depends towards what though). Vice Verse works as well, I've know some really pretty ladies that once they opened their mouth, and nothing but garbage came out of it, they turned freaking ugly. 3
TheSingleGuy Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 She laughs at everything I say and makes me feel like a King when I'm with her. She's all over me in public. It's so obvious to me and to others that she's totally into me.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Kindness, intelligent, humor, passion (depends towards what though). Vice Verse works as well, I've know some really pretty ladies that once they opened their mouth, and nothing but garbage came out of it, they turned freaking ugly. Can you think of a specific woman you dated where this happened Professor X?
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Please don't ruin my thread XXOO.
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I like girls who are either passionate and fiery or reserved and refined (or classy if you will). The girls I have liked all had this quality, whether they were physically attractive or not. When girls are passionate, it really gets to me in a deep way. I liked a girl who was quite big and not the prettiest, but she carried herself so well. The way that she walked, the cutting wit she displayed, even the slight hint of risque thoughts in her wordplay, just made her so sexy. Too bad she was seeing someone, but man she was a magnificent woman. She was cool as hell too, always fun to be around. 3
oaks Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 what was it that made you see her more attractively? Body language suggested she was interested, I liked her voice, she laughed at my jokes and made some of her own, she didn't recoil when I touched her. 2
aisle_seat Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I'd say, among other things, a woman who shares my values makes her very attractive to me. I don't mean agrees with everything I believe in or say, but when it comes to things like raising children, or having respect for herself and others, how she feels about romance, etc. make a big difference, regardless of physical appearance.
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 When getting to know her better? Similarity in ideals or discovering she has a complementary character to mine. That means she ought to be intelligent and compassionate, and not a mindless drone who agrees with everything I say because I am saying something. Having good deep conversations about matters really helps. A good, honest, smile and eyes hat tell me she has a good character. Physical beauty has little to do with it for me - even supposedly "unattractive" women can be very attractive to me. She does not have to plaster her face with makeup, or be all over me, ready to rip my pants off. If anything that makes her less attractive (can anyone yet tell I am not into ONS and casual relationships? ) That does not mean I would necessarily act on such perceptions however. A woman can be attractive, but that does not mean I'll be inclined to pursue her. There can be some obvious disqualifiers (such as already being in a committed relationship), such as incompatibility in beliefs (devout believers of religion being an obvious one; if you want to convert me, you are better off looking for someone else). Since I cannot live a cookie-cutter life, I would not pursue someone who can be happy with an office job (or even some career paths - it would clash with my ideals), or aspires to be a stay-at-home mom. Hope this helps a bit. 2
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 When getting to know her better? Similarity in ideals or discovering she has a complementary character to mine. That means she ought to be intelligent and compassionate, and not a mindless drone who agrees with everything I say because I am saying something. Having good deep conversations about matters really helps. A good, honest, smile and eyes hat tell me she has a good character. Physical beauty has little to do with it for me - even supposedly "unattractive" women can be very attractive to me. She does not have to plaster her face with makeup, or be all over me, ready to rip my pants off. If anything that makes her less attractive (can anyone yet tell I am not into ONS and casual relationships? ) That does not mean I would necessarily act on such perceptions however. A woman can be attractive, but that does not mean I'll be inclined to pursue her. There can be some obvious disqualifiers (such as already being in a committed relationship), such as incompatibility in beliefs (devout believers of religion being an obvious one; if you want to convert me, you are better off looking for someone else). Since I cannot live a cookie-cutter life, I would not pursue someone who can be happy with an office job (or even some career paths - it would clash with my ideals), or aspires to be a stay-at-home mom. Hope this helps a bit. Agree with much of this, especially the intelligence part. I love a girl who can debate with me about anything . And the cookie-cutter life. My lifestyle is probably going to be vastly varied and not normal at all. I need a girl who can go with the flow, while being able to have order in her own chaos. Perhaps we differ on the clothes ripping off and stuff. Like I said: fire . I love physical beauty, but it's in the eye of the beholder though.
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Perhaps we differ on the clothes ripping off and stuff. Like I said: fire Let's be clear: I do like it in women when they want to rip my clothes off. But before a relationship is established, such behaviour would not make her appear to be more attractive to me. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Let's be clear: I do like it in women when they want to rip my clothes off. But before a relationship is established' date=' such behaviour would not make her appear to be more attractive to me.[/quote'] I hear you, it takes a little bit more than that beforehand. I think when dating, I will display the same reserved nature just to see more about the woman. Plus, it kind of makes it fun, the anticipation . Then again, I'm not against to the idea of casual dating/ONS, but it's not something I look for. 1
Emilia Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Since I cannot live a cookie-cutter life' date=' I would not pursue someone who can be happy with an office job (or even some career paths - it would clash with my ideals)[/quote'] Would you care to elaborate? If the info is not too personal
Joaquin Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 A girl who i am not physically attracted to has never later on become attractive to me. It's like my brain just goes....nah, I wouldn't go there. The reverse is true tho, a pretty girl becomes less attractive. Sometimes when drunk or feeling desperate guys (and girls im sure) do however go with those they wouldn't normally be with. If that leads to somekind of relationship its not usually a good one as you dont really fancy the girl, and end up telling ypurself she has a great personality etc. All excuses I think.
somedude81 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Great thread, DY! Please don't ruin my thread XXOO. ROFL! Remind me to never give DY a compliment. ------------------ As for the question, her giving me time and attention. Wanting to be with me.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 d'Arthez Physical beauty has little to do with it for me - even supposedly "unattractive" women can be very attractive to me. This is how it's with me for men. I am just surprised that guys can be the same way. And I'm glad to know that's the case! Since I cannot live a cookie-cutter life, I would not pursue someone who can be happy with an office job (or even some career paths - it would clash with my ideals), or aspires to be a stay-at-home mom. What where some of the jobs the women you've dated have done? Hope this helps a bit. It sure does. Very interesting post!
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 ROFL! Remind me to never give DY a compliment. Like you were ever in danger of doing that to begin with!
Mrlonelyone Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 When it come to women this is always how it went for me. I don't find women attractive on a physical level, being basically attracted to men. Yet, in my life 4 have earned my romantic interest. In all cases I had to get to know them for some months on a platonic level and get to like them. What they all had were intelligence, and creativity, comparable to my own and were overall nice people to know. Whereas with a guy I do find physically attractive those traits are a plus. Like my main man in highschool was big strong silent and kind...but dumb as a box of rocks. Then there is the undeniable mental aspect of all this. I have met transgender men (female to male) who turned me on in a purely physical way. Attraction is complicated. Bottom line, at least for me, personality can trump looks to a great extent.
ThaWholigan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 This is how it's with me for men. I am just surprised that guys can be the same way. And I'm glad to know that's the case!! Of course. Men don't all find the same things beautiful. And I find that a woman who carries herself a certain way will be beautiful even if she doesn't fit a conventionally attractive ideal. Intelligence, mystique, creativity and hidden depths of passion and personal power in a woman is the biggest turn on for me. 4
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 ThaWholigan Of course. Men don't all find the same things beautiful. And I find that a woman who carries herself a certain way will be beautiful even if she doesn't fit a conventionally attractive ideal. Sometimes that is really really really hard to see. Especially when you stand back and observe how a lot of men seem to act with certain women. Intelligence, mystique, creativity and hidden depths of passion and personal power in a woman is the biggest turn on for me. I love this Wholigs. Beautifully said. 1
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Would you care to elaborate? If the info is not too personal After all this thread should remain on topic. I'll keep the personal stuff out of it as much as possible. For me it makes no sense to spend 30 minutes a week to nurture my soul (for lack of a better term; I am an atheist), and the rest of my time chasing shadows. I'd rather spend as much time as I can to nurture my soul, and deepen my understanding of life. Before anyone thinks I am a typical starving artist, I have worked in an office job for years for an advocacy organisation which tries to improve society, and has been fairly successful at that. Both the "improving society" aspect as well as learning through my job were very important to me. My work makes me a better human being. Ideally I would find someone to whom the same applies, or at least the same desire work-wise. Working for a big telecom company selling advertisements would not really work for me. Sure, temporarily, but longterm? No. What where some of the jobs the women you've dated have done? My ex (after a relationship of 5.5 years) works as an architect but she is a very creative person. 1
d'Arthez Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Intelligence, mystique, creativity and hidden depths of passion and personal power in a woman is the biggest turn on for me. This is so true. Creativity is a real turn on. Creative people cannot really express themselves in a job such as selling advertising space. It would make them quite unhappy, and the same is true for me. I creative people.
jobaba Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Good topic! It's not so cut and dry for me because it's not like I find Range X of women to be attractive and Range Y of women to be unattractive. There's women that I meet them where I say "Wow!", there's other women who I think are cute, and the majority of the others in my age range would fall under OK, so it's not like somebody who I thought was hideous all of a sudden looks like Jessica Alba to me. The smallest thing can make me do a double take at a woman's smiling face ... her kindness to a stranger, having an unknown talent like being able to sing or play the piano, or finding we have something in common previously undiscovered. But cold, hard specifics... I initially worked with a woman who I didn't find particularly attractive ... definitely not my type at the very least. Initially, I also thought she was lazy and also a bit shallow and petty. She used to tell me about all of her ex boyfriends and I'd nod my head and barely listen. But if you spend enough time with a person, you see every side of them. You'll find that most people have many sides to them. I found she had a side that was intelligent, diplomatic, and that she had a strong work ethic when driven. That she could be so down to Earth and compassionate. And we always shared a sense of humor. In a span of about three to four weeks of spending every day together, she went from being a non-entity to the most beautiful woman in the world. Of course, she rejected me, but the bitter epilogue is not relevant to your thread. 1
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