vroom Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Hi, I have got some real good help here and I would like to clarify some things.. I tried everything from gifts to begging her to be back. Finally, I have given up. 1. Is it OK if I tell myself that if she loves me she will be back. If she is not back there is no point in getting her back because she doesn't love me. Bottom line: DO people come back? She says she likes someone else :-( 2. We broke up on 20 Oct 2011. We remain in full blown contact till Jan end 2012 i.e. talking everyday, discussing things etc. Met last time sometime in April. Is it OK to wait still? 3. She calls sometimes. She says she is just worried about me. I have an alcohol abuse problem. I have told her that it's not her problem anymore. Last contact was on Sat on text message. What do I do if she calls again? 4. If I unfriend her on Facebook is it like being a sore loser? 5. Sometimes I feel by NC I am using the strategy to make her miss me and not move on? What is this? 6. Oh and yeah I haven't been able to sleep since ages unless I am drunk. Last night I did not even sleep a minute. I had a flight to catch early morning and I caught some sleep on the journey. What do I do about this? Lastly, hats-off to people here. I am not able to even read through peoples questions sometimes wondering how do they cope. But they not only cope they help others like me.
StellaA Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Hey, sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Sounds like you have a few issues you want to sort out. I think the main thing I have taken from your story is you don't really think much of yourself at the moment, hence the drinking. Don't beg her, why would you want to be with someone who you beg to be with you, son't you want someone who wants to be with you, as deep down, you deserve that! You need to give her chance to miss you, at the moment it sounds like she can get hold of you whenever she wants so she gets it both ways, she doesn't want to be with you but has the added bonus that she can still check up on you and be guilt free! I have just finished with my partner, I love him and would love to text and see how is he but I have to accept that I can't and will not move on if I do! Yes you do need to defreind on FB, to move on you need to stop hearing about her! yes, it is hard and some days very painful but if you get through this you will be stronger than ever and hey....you might actually realise it's her loss not the other way round! You can do this!
StellaA Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 If you have broken up and are not getting back together, you don't answer or text back. Try changing your number. You need to get a clear head and you won't do this if on a daily basis you are fighting this battle. If it's over, then this is what you have to do. Don't make it easy for her! It's your turn to take control now
Squishy_Belle Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I totally agree with StellaA. Cut all ties..if you arent back together by now chances are you probably wont. You are holding onto something that is no longer there. I did this until i finally realised that i was putting myself in a state. You are the only one who control your happiness. Cut ties and think about yourself. Get out there and enjoy life. Things are going to be hard for a while but you will eventually realise that there is more out there for you.
StellaA Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Totally right Squishy! I did the same as well! I actually got back with my ex but all the problems were still there I just didn't want to let the go although I was unhappy! It takes a strong person to do it! I know now I was just slowly ripping of the band aid rather than just at once, I think the way I did it made the pain worse. Yes, I am really sad about it, I miss not being able to just pick up the phone and see if he is ok BUT i know if I stay strong and get through this period it will lead to better things! Deep down you know what to do! Follow your gut instinct and what your body tells you, life is to short!
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