Jump to content

Is there ever a time when a woman "is just not ready" for a relationship?

Falcon25

By Falcon25
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Falcon25 Established Member

Falcon25

Posted
Posted

Is there ever a time when she just may not be ready for a relationship? When she just doesn't want commitments/burdens, etc?

Is this a phase? A depression? Do they ever snap out of it? Or do they just mean they don't want YOU?

What if she likes you, has feelings for you, talks and misses you, but just can't commit. What do you do in this case? Keep taking her calls every once in awhile? Or cut it off completely?

Svet74 Established Member

Svet74

Posted
Posted

I can't really call it a phase. Either they know what they want or don't. And you let her figure that one on her own WITHOUT you. That means cut her off

Reddice Established Member

Reddice

Posted
Posted

In my experience, all women want a relationship. Even the sluttiest of women want one, even if it's just to have some kind of security blanket. When a woman tells you she does not want a relationship it's because she has the hots for someone else and doesn't want to jeoparize a possible relationship with that person. Even in times of extreme stress, most women will want to have someone to comfort them. It doesn't mean she necessarily wants to have a relationship with you or me though, but she does want to be in a relationship.

  • Like 1
sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
Posted

It is possible for a human being to not want to be in a relationship for many reasons. Since she is a human being this also applies to her. Maybe she doesnt want one right now, maybe she doesn't want one with you. What does it have to do with her gender? Maybe she doesn't want a relationship with a guy who doubts women are capable of the same range of choices a man can have? It is, after all, a very demeaning and unattractive attitude .

Almond_Joy Established Member

Almond_Joy

Posted
Posted

I think that all people always want companionship and someone to love, but that we may not be in a position to do all the work it takes to maintain a healthy relationship.

 

Some people really are aware of that in themselves, and if they tell you they're not ready for a relationship, I don't think you should push the issue.

 

If I'm interested in someone in return in a case like that, I just leave them alone. I know what kind of relationship I want with that person. If they don't, or are unable to provide that kind of relationship, I don't want them in my life. I don't want the grey area, back and forth, giving them attention I could be applying toward someone who can provide what I'm looking for. If they want what I want but aren't ready, they can look me up when they are ready.

 

Until then, it's better for me if we go our separate ways.

  • Like 1
xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted

My recent breakup taught a hard lesson- I can't make something work if the other person doesn't have the commitments as I.

That said as a woman I do want a relationship but I am also very guarded about who I let in. Women especially want love but they always end up finding sex in the equation. It doesn't make them any less than men I do think both genders are the same but some women do hold back because of emotional issues.

trist Established Member

trist

Posted
Posted

while i agree with most, there are exceptions to the norm... what if in a period of 30 days someone loses a family member, and then hypothetically they lose yet another one, one of their parents walks out on the family, during the while studying for finals in university or college? that person then say has to find a part time job to help support the remaining parent, while grieving over lost family members and finding the time to study...

 

do you think that person is going to be in a position to mentally and emotionally (let alone physically) pursue upkeep or even think about wanting a relationship??

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
Is there ever a time when she just may not be ready for a relationship? When she just doesn't want commitments/burdens, etc?

Is this a phase? A depression? Do they ever snap out of it? Or do they just mean they don't want YOU?

What if she likes you, has feelings for you, talks and misses you, but just can't commit. What do you do in this case? Keep taking her calls every once in awhile? Or cut it off completely?

 

yes, there is a time when a woman just doesn't want a relationship. it's when she doesn't want a relationship with YOU.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
while i agree with most, there are exceptions to the norm... what if in a period of 30 days someone loses a family member, and then hypothetically they lose yet another one, one of their parents walks out on the family, during the while studying for finals in university or college? that person then say has to find a part time job to help support the remaining parent, while grieving over lost family members and finding the time to study...

 

do you think that person is going to be in a position to mentally and emotionally (let alone physically) pursue upkeep or even think about wanting a relationship??

 

are you saying you have to dump your partner if someone dies?

 

no, i don't agree with any of this. if a person's life is that bad and strewn out, they shouldn't be trying to date in the first place, and they wouldn't be trying to date in the first place.

 

if they are using any of that as an excuse, then that's what it is...an excuse...one that they're using to NOT DATE YOU.

trist Established Member

trist

Posted
Posted
are you saying you have to dump your partner if someone dies?

 

no, i don't agree with any of this. if a person's life is that bad and strewn out, they shouldn't be trying to date in the first place, and they wouldn't be trying to date in the first place.

 

if they are using any of that as an excuse, then that's what it is...an excuse...one that they're using to NOT DATE YOU.

 

no, i was referring to if she had been single at the moment... not in the middle of a healthy loving relationship...

 

my point is, all things are possible, different people have different coping mechanisms... some crawl into a hole to sort things out on their own, some become raging sluts...

 

but if it is someone the op was dating, about to date or just had started dating, then no, you would be correct... it's called LOW INTEREST LEVEL, for whatever behavior or actions the op projected...

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
Is there ever a time when she just may not be ready for a relationship?

 

Yes. When she doesn't like you enough.

relationship_stuff New Member

relationship_stuff

Posted
Posted

It happens when she is not so sure about you. When she is still in the deciding phase and thinking whether or not you are worth committing to. However, her feelings for you will most likely increase with time unless you give her a reason that you are not good enough for her. So just have patience and enjoy yourself.

gibson Established Member

gibson

Posted
Posted
Is there ever a time when she just may not be ready for a relationship?

 

I am not a women but I didn't want a relationship throughout most of my 20s.

 

I was focused on school, my career, hanging with friends, partying, having fun, dating around, etc.

 

What if she likes you, has feelings for you, talks and misses you, but just can't commit.

 

Let me share some wisdom / knowledge with you.

 

DON'T EVER BE A "BUTT"!

 

"BUTT" - A person with no self-respect, self-worth, boundaries, dignity, and someone who is not true to what they want, what they need, etc.

 

When someone says...

 

I like you, I have feelings for you, miss you "BUTT"...

 

WHATEVER is after the "BUTT" is immaterial and doesn't matter.

 

If you chase or end up in a relationship with someone who thinks you are a "BUTT"... They will always treat you like one.

 

You get used, abused, tortured, manipulated and treated like something that comes out of a "BUTT"!

 

Why?

 

They just told you (and their actions will also match) they think you are / have to be a "BUTT" to chase or be with them.

 

If they do want you, a relationship with you, etc. it's not under any sort of normal terms that is "healthy" for you and there is never a happy ending for you either.

 

What do you do in this case?

 

Go find someone who doesn't think you are "BUTT" and wants what you are looking for.

 

Keep taking her calls every once in awhile? Or cut it off completely?

 

Since you are here posting, you probably have feelings for them and have already agreed to be treated like a "BUTT".

 

I would stop being a "BUTT" and go NC to help facilitate that process.

  • Like 2
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...