aevf39 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 hey so i have been in a ldr for 2 years and we were on and off from february until april. now we are back together, but i just moved back home. I was in college and just graduated, but it is two hours farther away. before we were 4.5 hours apart--now its about 6.5. so i am living at home with my parents and we got in an argument about visits. i am financially dependent on them for the most part and they said they think its stupid for me to be in a ldr and that i cant visit him or have him visit me as much as i want (which is about once a month). do you have any tips for what i should do? are they right? is there something i can do to proove them wrong or make it easier? i dont want to argue with my parents or lose my boyfriend...
writergal Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) hey so i have been in a ldr for 2 years and we were on and off from february until april. now we are back together, but i just moved back home. I was in college and just graduated, but it is two hours farther away. before we were 4.5 hours apart--now its about 6.5. so i am living at home with my parents and we got in an argument about visits. i am financially dependent on them for the most part and they said they think its stupid for me to be in a ldr and that i cant visit him or have him visit me as much as i want (which is about once a month). do you have any tips for what i should do? are they right? is there something i can do to proove them wrong or make it easier? i dont want to argue with my parents or lose my boyfriend... Well unfortunately your parents can say what they want about your LDR since you live at home rent-free and they pay your bills for you. What you could do to make it easier for your LDR is to find a job and become financially independent from your parents. The more control you take of your life, the less say your parents have on the frequency you can visit your LDR. Find a part-time or full-time job, search Craigslist for roommate opportunities if you don't know anyone looking for roommates (first find a job). Then move out of your parents house. That will take some time and job hunting on your part, but if traveling frequently means that much to you, then you can't rely on your parents to support you as they've made it clear they don't. Convince them they are wrong by becoming financially independent. Also, why isn't he making an effort to come visit you? Is he financially dependent on his parents too? Until you start earning your own income and pay your own rent, your parents pretty much control your financial choices, and that includes travel to see your boyfriend. Edited May 16, 2012 by writergal
Author aevf39 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 no he has his own apartment and is working and going to school full time, but my parents just bought me a new car and are holding my ability to drive over my head... i know i need to be less financially dependent, but i am taking the MCAT in june so i cant get a job until after. i dont want to threaten to move out, but i dont see any other way to making them see that this is a real relationship despite what they may think and we might just make it work. sticky situation.
Christine52 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Sometimes when you live with your parents you have to keep details on your dating life a bit more private. I know some people have super close relationships with their parents and tell them everything, but when you know you're going to face opposition you have to have a little more tact, at least until you know you might be getting engaged/married soon. From someone whose parents are SUPER conservative, and have rejected and yelled at me for some boyfriends I've had in the past, this is something that will really help your relationship: - Tell them your relationship with him is authentic and makes you happy. - Tell them you are not going to change your life to please them. - Tell your parents you love and respect them and hope they can do the same for you by giving you a little freedom to make your own decisions, and your own mistakes When you want to visit your boyfriend, maybe let your parents know a few days in advance that you're going to go away to spend some time with him. Then go. Don't fight about it. Don't ALLOW them to nag you about it. Just be respectful, and act like a mature, responsible adult, and they will eventually tire of nagging you and stop. Once you move out, life will get much easier.
Recommended Posts